Pregnancy Forum - Jokes!!!!!

A couple just started their lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "this doesn't feel so bad."
the instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.
"you want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "honey, pick up that pen for me."
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after the baby was born, the panicked japanese father went to see the obstetrician.
"doctor," he said, "i don't mind telling you, but i'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."
"nonsense," the doctor said. "even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"it isn't possible," the man insisted. "we're pure asian."
"well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"
the man seemed ashamed. "i've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."
"there you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "it's just rust."
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the new mother got out of bed for the first time since her childbirth dressed in her robe and walked down the hospital hallway to the nurses desk where she asked for a phone book.
"what are you doing out here! You should be in your room resting," the nurse exclaimed.
"i want to search through the phone book for a name for my baby," the new mother replied.
"you don't have to do that here. The hospital furnished a booklet to all new mothers to assist them in picking a first name for their baby."
"you don't understand," the woman said and frowned.
"my baby already has a first name."
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if men got pregnant!!!

1. Maternity leave would last two years.. With full pay.

2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.

3. Natural childbirth would be obsolete.

4. Morning sickness would rate as the nations number one health problem.

5. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness.

6. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.

7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

8. They would not think twins were quite so cute.

9. Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10 pm.

10. Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.

11. They would have to stop saying, "i'm afraid i'll drop him."

12. Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.

13. They would stay in bed for the entire nine months.

14. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as entrees.

15. Women would rule the world.

Enjoy mi amigas!!!!!