How Do You Move On....should You Forget? Posted: 01-26-05 10:49am
I dont know what to do. I had an abortion
in april 03 and cant get on with my life.
I had to make many changes in my life to
enable me to get by. Ive had to move
house, change jobs and take on many
different projects just to take my mind
off what has happened. I know this is not
typically how someone should feel after
having an abortion, I have got friends who
have had abortions and feel relieved. I
know I made a mistake, I shouldnt have
listened to my family or my boyfriend, I
loved my baby and cant believe I gave in
to what other people wanted.
As soon as I had the abortion I noticed a
big change in me, I was running arround
like a headless chicken, rearranging
furnature, changing the way I looked,
trying to make dramatic changes in my life
to help me take my mind off what I have
done, and gradually as time went on my
depression has got worse, my thoughts
scare me. I was sooo torn up by it that I
woke up one morning and actually
hullucinated, I saw a baby at the end of
my bed...Large as life... I knew then
that my depression had got to a whole
nother level - I havent hullucinated
sinse, but what the hell is wrong with me.
I would do anything to get that baby
back.
I do believe that abortion is the right
option for people, but I dont think it was
the right option for me. I am a very
maternal person and this has ruined my
life. Why after 2 years havent I got
passed all this? I have no-one to talk
to, my parents shut me up whenever I talk
to them as its all now in the past and my
boyfriend wont speak about it either.
Help me i'm actually going mad!
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FISHX
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2004 Posts: 920 Location: UK
Posted: 01-26-05 13:08pm
I sugest that you pick out a little patch
of garden to dedicate to your baby
somewhere you can go to greive for what
you have lost I really do,nt think that
you should have been pushed into this and
that could be why your finding it so hard
to come to terms with it .
There are no set time limits for greif
everyone comes out of it in there own time
and in there own way you probably do,nt
want to hear thios but you will never
forget your baby but the day will come
when you can think of him/her and it wo,nt
hurt no more please please talk to
somebody any body but do,nt go through
this alone.
All the best.
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Kourtney08
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2004 Posts: 937 Location: Alaska
Posted: 01-26-05 15:09pm
What fish said is a good idea. Things
will get better, but you'll never forget.
Dedicate something to your baby, like fish
said a patch of garden you can work on
every year, or guy by a tree or rose bush
and plant it and watch it grow every year.
Good luck, and if you need support you
can get it here.
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steen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 1797 Location: Upper Midwest
Posted: 01-27-05 00:55am
I would also recommend you seeing a
counselor. After all, it is situations
like yours that they specialize in. As
you said, you feel the need to talk to
somebody, and your parents are no help.
So try for a counselor. If you can't
afford one, there are places that will
provide counseling or free. If you let
me know what city you are in, I will see
if I can find something. I do have good
lists of resources.
You could also try to call 211. It is a
nationally coordinated help line that can
give advice for just about any resource
you can need.
