Hi, i'm new here. My name is ximena. I'm
from mexico. I'm 13 years old, i've been
bullimic for the past 2 years, but before,
I always used to think about me being fat
and of how guilty I felt if I ate an
insignificant piece of bread. I have no
self-esteem. I hate myself. And i'm just
13 years old! Help! Mom knows it, and
some friends too. I actually go to a
psychologist, but I still hate this girl
for being so fat. I've been through much,
and now I know that I won't love myself
until I can change (loose weight) help me!
Tell me some ways to eat just what my
body needs! I don't want to be annorexic.
I'd just like to be normal.
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hurt28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 49 Location: lowell
Kelsey Posted: 01-29-05 09:42am
Hey im 14 and I have been bulimic for 3yrs
and I hate it to.....So umm I really dont
no what to say because I am stilll doing
it but ppl have told me that the first
thing to tecovery is to find out the
reason u first started it...And I think u
should take it step bye step??? Each day
that really the only way it works I wish I
could use my own advice but it is just
toooo hard..And I just wanna let u no that
it isnt going to be easy to stop it is
veeeyyy hard.......I always say if I loose
5 more iibs I no I will stop and be happy
but I dunno.....So r u like really
skinny??? Im not I always wished I was..
I have no self esteem either it hurts me
sooo much when I hear the word fat it just
gets to me soooooo much:( and I really
wished it wouldnt....I mean like why me
why do I have to be the one in pain every
day I really hate looking at my self in
the mirrior because of what I see....Wanna
no what hurts me the most when ppl say u r
doing this for attemtion because its like
noo im not u have no idea what I go threw
each day...Welll I hope I helpes u a lil
??? It kinda nice talkking to some one
who is near my age I just turned 14 in
sep....Welll keep me posted...Bye
love~kelsey~
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iixon
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Posts: 5 Location: méxico
Posted: 02-01-05 20:47pm
Wow. Yeah its nice to share things with
someone my age... Well. The reason I
started it is, mmm probably because my mom
used to be bullimic, but she is kinda
obsessed with her weight and she exercises
a lot when she eats like very much, so I
didn't want to stay behind, but I chose to
throw up. Another reason is because since
I was like little, I have never been happy
with myself. I've always been fat (i
really am) i'm a little overweight (level
1) but the thing here is I am not happy
with myself, I want to be... Just...
Normal. I understand perfectly about
your pain at the mirror. It really sucks.
I just can't smile!!!! You know
something funny? I envy more a girl that
is like 200 pounds but happy, that a 85
pounds girl who hates herself (like me,
except I don't think im 85 pounds)
today I had a really bad day: I ate like a
pig. Cookies. Butter. Bread. I threw
up every little piece, I think. It hurts.
I started vomiting blood. One part of me
says: "stop! Please don't hurt me!" and
the other says: "nooo, its your punishment
for eating so much, let's go again" I hate
inner battles. At the end, I just
couldn't throw up more, it hurted like
hell; so I got angry with myself, I found
a razor and started cutting my left wrist.
It actually didn't hurt at all.
Sometimes I think about suicide.
I know im in a hole.
Does it happen to you?
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hurt28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 49 Location: lowell
Hey Posted: 02-02-05 11:35am
Hey omg I have the some problem....I
havent ever thrown up blood but I do get
bloddy noses some times...I eat like a pig
to yesterday..I had
candy....Chips...Pizza...And I was like
omg why am I doing this......My stomach
hurts soooo much when I throw up some
times I feel like my body is refusing to
throw up...If you dont mind me asking how
much do u weigh?? I am 5'o and I weigh
145 and I hate it sooo much I want to get
down to 100 so I have a loonnggg weigh to
go:( I have cut my wrist and I dont no why
I do it like I dont really do it have
done it like 3x I think??? And I have
thought of suicide be 4 I no that is bad
but id rather die than be fat....And every
day I say im not ganna eat anything yet I
still do..Today I had the chance to eat
nothing cause I didnt go to school I told
my mom I didnt feel good witch I dont so I
had the house to my self yet I frigen had
waffels for breakfast and I dont wanna
throw it up cause I hate the taste of
it...Some foods I just cant do it they
tast sooo0oo0o00o bad....Like
pizza,spegetti....So im like what we
should help each other to loose weight
cause I no im not ganna be happy till im
skinny.....Welll talk to ya soon:)
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iixon
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Posts: 5 Location: méxico
Posted: 02-08-05 21:07pm
Happy till i'm skinny... That sounds so
familiar. Well, I have no idea how much
do I weigh in pounds, but i'm 153cms tall
and I weight like 55kgs. My body refuses
to throw up also. But I gave up last
weekend. It was so depressing. I ate
pizza, doughnuts, brownies... **ck! I
went to a naturist store and bought... Uh
I don't know how to call it, I think its
chrome. In spanish is "picolinato de
cromo". It reduces fat and helps you
loose weight. Time ago I asked my mom if
I could comsume it, but she refused to.
So this time I bought it in secret. Nice.
I hope it could help me.
It could help you too.
