Do I Have Schizophrenia/psychosis? Posted: 01-31-05 08:40am
Was posting on another site about how I
feel my therapist for anxiety is spying on
me, or how she has someone working for
her, who is spying on me. I feel that
every time I see her, she know's something
- something hidden in her eyes. I
received a pm from the moderator saying I
might have a slight touch of
schizophrenia/psychosis - as apparently it
emerges in late teens.
I have problems, i'm aware. I suffer from
anxiety and i'm being treated for that,
with talk therapy. I refuse
anti-depressants as I might become reliant
on them.
Reason for my concerns of myself, stem
from when I was a child. I used to always
be alone, play on my own, do everything on
my own. I used to play with thin air,
pretending it was another person in
whatever it was I was playing, but I
assume this was normal. All my life I
have been extrememly frightened and aware
type of individual. Even now, I feel
everyone is watching me, is feeding off
the fear in my eyes - reading me, you
know? But from what I can see that is
just plain anxiety? Or isn't it? I also
believe in a lot of the 'conpiracy
theories' I believe how government is just
puppets to manipulate the world. The real
people - the puppeteersm are trying to
make a new world order. And I also
believe that the moon landing was fake,
but does this all suggest I am a schizo?
Not long ago, I had the experience of
seeing a white light at bedtime and that I
was being visised by some energy/being.
This was not my imagination as it's in a
photo I hold in my living room. I told my
therapist of the story, with also saying
that I don't mean to sound like a weirdo,
and she replied, 'i believe you' all nice
and such. She then asked me if I heard
voices, in which I replied no, I knew she
was onto something, she probably thought I
was a schiz, so I denied hearing voices.
I have actually heard voices, but only
when I was really little. I'd be on my
own in a car and i'd hear someone repeat
what i'm saying, this is non-existent now,
but the rather 'strange' past experiences
have made me increasingly concerned.
What would your first impression be if
someone told you this?
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bounce
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2005 Posts: 15 Location: scotland
Hello Posted: 01-31-05 10:55am
I used to be alone alot as well.I was
always quite an aware child,very self
concious and scared of people in
general.Because I was on my own alot when
I was younger I used to talk to myself, I
also used to make up pretend situations.I
would act out scenirios where I could
prove to people that I wasnt scared and
that I was right and generally kind of
rise above them all.This carried on until
I was kind of old(in my 20s) and usually
started when I was under stress of some
sort.Being a child and talking to yourself
isnt unusual,alot of children make believe
at some point.But I know that being alone
alot when your younger can have funny
affects on you in later life.You probably
think alot, as youve been left alone as a
child your minds probably roamed where
ever it wanted(which isnt bad as you
probably have a good imagination).I wished
I had more friends and wasnt alone or
didnt feel so disconnected from people
when I was young.But anyway your paranioa
probably comes from knowing about the bad
things and people in this world,how they
see you or judge you.I just had to let go
of my fears and execpt the world and
people in it as they are,and not bother
what anyone thinks about me because to be
honest you cant please everyone its
impossible,but theres a big world out
there and someones bound to execpt you as
you are warts n all.As for your conspiricy
theories, I know what its like ive had
some pretty extreme ones sometimes(when I
was not right),alot of people have those
sort of things.Sometimes it good to
question things but if theres no way your
gonna get an answer then let it be
otherwise your paranioa might get
worse.Theres plenty of things in this
world that have big question marks over
them for me any way,but thats the way life
is honey.I hope you feel more at ease in
the future and dont be worried about your
therapist shes there to help you just like
she helps alot of people,she cant have
spys out after all of them. :wink:
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harmony1
Supporter
Joined: 18 May 2008 Posts: 390 Location: , Australia
Thanks: 28
Thanked:14
Posted: 08-07-08 01:26am
The first part of what you wrote makes me
think you could possibly have some
symptoms for psychosis.( Thinking that
people are spying on you. )
I would go and talk with a psychiatrist or
a doctor regarding this.
