I've been anorexic for a few years now and
am at 96 lbs ( i'm 5'8''). I am
attending college as a 1st year freshman.
However, I have been given two options.
1. Sign several release forms/contracts
saying I have to meet w/ a counselor,
nurse, dietitian, and gain a lb a week
until i"m done 'refeeding.' if not......
If I fail - I am going to be withdrawn
from the university. I feel incredibly
hopeless. I want to quit already. I
truly do not want to gain any weight. I
think it's unfair for the univeristy to
kick me out of something i'm paying for.
I'm not hurting anyone here... Only
myself. Yeah, I know i'm hurting my
family...But that is none of the
university's concern. This is my life.
I wish death upon myself. I don't want
to do this. I am a failure.
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BaBeeG8369
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2004 Posts: 5 Location: Kentucky
Hey Posted: 02-03-05 20:46pm
I was and still am anorexic I have been
for 9 years and I know what you are going
through... The one thing I want to tell
you is that you are not a failure and you
can overcome this... If you dont want to
get kicked out of college then try working
with a counselor and by working on it
yourself by keeping a journal... Thats
what helped me another thing that helped
was talking to friends and family.. No
they may not understand but they are
always there... I hope in some way i've
helped you...
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emptyalive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 39 Location: Wisconsin
Stuck Posted: 02-03-05 23:29pm
I feel so stuck, though. Anorexia
controls me, but I control the anorexia.
When the rest of the world abandons me and
leaves me nothing and no one-it is always
there. It's going to be impossible for
me to allow them to take this away from
me. I will be lost without it. I am so
convinced that I deserve this ...This slow
death...That i'll feel selfish wasting my
time (and especially everyone else's)
trying to 'help myself.' I don't deserve
any help. I don't deserve special
treatment. I don't deserve this life.
I may have to follow their plan, however.
But I promise that as soon as this
semester is over - i'm back to it. I'll
be right back where I am by next fall.
That's just the way I am.
I don't know what's going to happen.
However, I appreciate your advice. It's
a good idea. I will keep a food journal.
It'll be good for me while i'm here..
Plus it'll look good to them ! :wink:
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maui
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Feb 2005 Posts: 4
Hey Posted: 02-05-05 13:38pm
Hey, I was bulumic and anorexic when I was
14.. Now i'm 15, and im doing good.
There only doing that to help you, yes it
does sound unfair.. And it is, but
really... It is truly serious. I didn't
see it that way, but if you don't want
to.. Then its going to be really hard for
anyone to help you. I say give it a try..
It can't hurt you anymore than you've
been hurting yourself can it?
Good luck
maui
