You know you're trying to conceive when.....

Women:


you think you might wet your pants every morning because you can't go to the bathroom until your thermometer beeps.
Your calendar at work is color coded for the days leading up to ovulation.
You tell people you work for the fbi because they look at you funny when you use jargon like bbt, ttc, and af.
Anyone else would need a decoder to read your fertility chart.
Suddenly, everyone around you is either pregnant, nursing or with a child
you've created voodoo dolls for all of the people who've asked, "are you pregnant yet?"
you're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.

Men:


you open your briefcase and find a sticky note from your wife that says, "don't drink any coffee, no cocktails after work, don't stress out and keep your 'boys' cool."
you're sleeping in front of the fireplace and showering at the gym because your wife turned down the water heater at home and took away your electric blanket.
You look like someone out of a rap video because your new boxers keep riding up and out of the top of your pants.
You feel like your wife has an alarm clock in her shorts because every four weeks or so, she comes running out of the bathroom saying, "drop your pants--it's time!"
someone asks you what day it is and you reply, "cycle day 20."
you know enough about the workings of the female body to teach a health class at the high school.
You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.