How to Approach a Bipolar Person? Posted: 02-05-05 00:00am
Hi,
i am a 38yo woman, divorced, 2 kids. I
met a wonderful man last year. I am
convince he is bipolar (long story). The
question is how do I approach the subject?
He is now in a depressive state and
doesn't want to see me, but doesn't want
to breakup either. I know what bipolar is
(my mom is) and I am willing to be here
for him if he seeks treatment. I guess I
should wait untill he is in a better
(manic) mood? Any advices?
Thanks
|
sandbag549
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Feb 2005 Posts: 2
Bi-polar Posted: 02-05-05 00:17am
Valiette,
I have been bi-polar for 59 years
and yes, I tend to do the same things as
your boyfriend does. I stay away from
people. Depression like that is so
overwhelming that you can't function at
all in any situation. I also do it
because I personally feel that others
should not be the brunt of my nastiness
and impatience when I am so sick. My
depression can last for years, I am also a
rapid cycler, and can also be in both
manic and depressive stage at the same
time. My advise, from a bi-polar point of
view is to just drop him a note, short
phone call, and just let him know that he
is not alone, and that as a friend you are
there if he wants to talk about it or
whatever. If you really care about him
learn as much about the disorder as you
can and then let him know you understand
how horrible it must be for him.
God bless both of
you
leslie
|
Macias
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2005 Posts: 52 Location: , Germany
Posted: 02-05-05 07:38am
I don't know why my bf is so good with
other people?
When he's deperssed he is apart from all
his family and the nearest friends to him,
but he can come to chat online with
anyone, or even with some friends and he's
so nice with them and very happy, but when
I come for example online, he's so
agressif with me, is this because he wants
to be apart from anyone he loves? He
doesn't call me at all since a few days.
I don't know what to do, I love him so
much and I wanna be with him.
Waiting fro your advices
thanks
|
nichol
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 17
Posted: 05-31-05 12:18pm
I noticed this post was from awhile back
but I can really relate, my bf will act so
nasty to me at times but be so nice to
others...Is that something that could be
from being bipolar? Ive said something
to him before bout treating me crappy and
treating everyone else better...Its
frustrating!
|
ashtyn2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 25
Bi-polar Posted: 05-31-05 12:31pm
I myself am bi-polar and I can relate to
your boyfriend acting nice to other and
nasty to the ones he loves. I tend to do
the same thing though I dont mean to be
cruel to those I love it just comes off
that way and sometimes I even get
agressive often thats because I dont want
those I love to see me in my depressed
state I dont want them to have to deal
with it because I love htem too much to
expose them to taht adn often the only way
to make sure they arent exposed to it is
to push them away and sometimes even get
agressive when they insist on talking to
me about it. I'd wait till he's in a
better mood and help him seek treatment.
Let him know he isnt alone and that your
willing to be there for him, show him
information on bi-polar disorder (if he
hasn't been medically diagnosed yet) and
just help him any way you can, he'll
eventually warm up to you and stop being
so agressive as long as you are calm and
rational with him and try not to be too
upset as men tend to hate seeing women
cry. Sometimes he'll still push you away
and possibly get a little aggressive but
it will get better over time as long as
your careful not to push the issue with
him. And thats my advice so yeah *smile*
|
nichol
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 17
Posted: 05-31-05 12:38pm
Thanks...I posted in my other post about
how he doesnt know I know, im pretty sure
he is though after reading forums and
other info...So I probably wont tell him I
know or bring it up. Id let him do that
if he wants to tell me.
It probably doesnt help that when we get
in fights/arguments that he can make me
cry easily sometimes by what he says...
Ill just have to approach things in
different ways.
|
ashtyn2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 25
Posted: 05-31-05 12:50pm
Thats the best idea, change how you
approach the problem and hey if it helps.
I know you can do it and I know you'll be
just fine. I cry easily cuz of my
boyfriend sometimes too but mostly they
hate it when we cry because of something
they've done or said or some problem with
them (like them being bipolar or something
similar) they hate to know they caused us
pain and no fighting doesnt help try andbe
calm and rational and I know everything
will work out just fine. Good luck.
*smile*
|
nichol
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 17
Posted: 05-31-05 12:56pm
Thanks so much for your encouragement! I
hope knowin how to deal with this will
help our relationship more cuz lately its
been hectic to where I dont know if I can
deal with it!
|
ashtyn2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 25
Glad to Help Posted: 05-31-05 13:03pm
Hey i'm glad I can help, i've had a few
relationships fall apart cuz my bf
couldn't handle my bipolar. Dont wanna
see that happen to you or anyone else. :d
|
pgauthier
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Rhode Island
Re: Glad to Help Posted: 06-05-05 07:51am
ashtyn2005
wrote:
hey i'm glad I can help,
i've had a few relationships fall apart
cuz my bf couldn't handle my bipolar.
Dont wanna see that happen to you or
anyone else.
:d
I to have had a bf w/
bipolar. He is seet caring ect. About 4
weeks ago we were supppose to go out and
he left w/ my car, told people I was sick
and then told me my car was broke down.
He finally returned around 2:00 am. We
had a big fight because I reacted an did
not respond. I did some stupid stuff,
because I was afraid he was using drugs.
I wanted his friends to help me an see ,
but no luck. I have not heard from him in
3 weeks. When we attend the same lounge
club I end up leaving because I am so
sensitive. How can I get him to accept my
phone calls or emails ?
|
samantha_loves_brandon
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: eugene
Re: Glad to Help Posted: 07-13-05 23:52pm
Ok well your bf might be doing drugs I
dont know him but its is one of the
biggest things of the disorder. I'm
bi-polar to I have been for 17 year so
year its really hard. :twisted: :evil:
|
shanti1
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 87
Approach Bp Very Carefully In Some Instances, Posted: 07-14-05 22:59pm
My ex bf who has bipolar disorder, he
invertnly hurt me that I have a very
noticable dark scar on my right knee
i look awful :( it formed a keloid, and I
do not have the money for laser surgery,
if that could even help
i have been putting merderma on it for
months.Did not help.
The situation was all fine and then he
wants me to go home just like that, well
really he says get the f out of his house,
it is in the middle of the nite
i did not drive there, he drove me there
so I have no way of going home, well I
could have called the cab, but first I
wanted to get out of his home, as he was
cursing,screaming
so I proceed to walk down the road
and then he gets in his car, and I have my
backpack and a bag of my stuff, and he
stops the car on the road by his house,
and tells me to get in, so he has the
engine running, cause he is in the road
resdiental area, and I open the back door
to put my bags in
cause there is no room in the passanger
seat
and as I close that door, I have my hand
on the passenger door as I was just about
to open it to go in,
we are talking seconds here
and my bipolar boyfriend speeds away!
What happens is because I had my hand on
the door handle
i fall smack down on the pavenment right
onto my wrists and knees,
i was on crutches for weeks, I hurt myself
real bad
thank god it was not worse
and for what? I did nothing wrong, except
fall in love with him
i did not know anyting about bipolar
prior
he treated me prior like a princess, I
really loved him, trusted him
everyone else adored him, thought great of
him, now
i feel like the world's greatest fool, and
my knee says it all
i had an awful experience, I pray no one
else has one like mine
everyone is different, so I am just
expressing my story
i will never date again, how can I ever
trust anyone else again?
|
katemarie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 1
Posted: 10-19-07 01:01am
For me personally, I know that when I'm in
a really bad state, I treat those closest
to me the worst because I'm scared of
hurting them and doing permanent damage so
I just need to be away from them until I'm
"better".. it's for them I do it, but it
feels like I'm doing it to get back at
them, I know. my therapist says many
people do it for that reason, so that
could be why those you all know do it.
|
dncn4lyfe77
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 9
Posted: 10-29-07 22:13pm
just because someone has bipolar disorder
doesn't make them totally nuts. Yeah you
get really angry and irritable but it
sounds like your significant other had
anger issues outside of bipolar.