I am a 22 year old female college student
who has been in my relationship for going
on 5 years now. Of course on and off.
Every time we split up we end up getting
back together because he swears he has
changed or he is going to change. We have
a 2 year old daughter together. I guess
you could say our relationship started
going south the day we met. I was 18 and
he was 30. But we tried it out anyways
and about a year and a half later I became
pregnant. His response to it was to have
an abortion. I couldnt do that. I was
about 3 weeks pregnant when I found out
about him cheating on me with a girl he
met over a chat line who says she knew
nothing about me. When I confronted we
both confronted him he took his anger out
on me and said that it was my fault. I
eventually forgave him because he said the
he would never do it again. I went
through my pregnancy without his support.
He did not go to the doctor with me not
once. I had my daughter, he was there,
spent the night with me. The next day he
jetted. My mom had ot come and pick me up
from the hospital. I didnt hear from him
for about a week and a half. He shows up
at my family's house and of course
appologized and I forgave him like an
fool. Then two days later I found a
picture of this girl in his truck with a
phone number on it. I called the girl and
once again. Found out that he had been
cheating on me since I was 3 months
pregnant. Said that she knew nothing
about me or our baby. I confronted him
and he didnt deny it. He just left. I
didnt hear from him for a couple of weeks.
Didnt come and see our daughter nothing.
Then out of the blue his mother calls me
and wants me to come to her house for
thanksgiving with the baby and says that
he wouldnt be there. So I went. And of
course he was there. And like a health
question I fell for his appologies again
and we go tback together. Why is it I
walk torwards the door to leave him and I
stop and turn around before I can even
turn the door knob. We fight consantly
because he says I cant let go of the past
and what he has done to me. He said that
if I wouldnt have been nosey and went
looking for things then I wouldnt have
found it and I woudnt have gotten hurt.
He has agreed to go to counseling and has
even went with me to make the appointment.
But as soon as we got home. It started
again. He has been abussive in the
relationship. Not to the point of me
going to the hospital or anything , but
abuse is abuse to me. I have now found
myseld getting furious enough when we
fight that I will throw the remote or
phone or something at him and not realize
it till afterwards. I know I am stupid,
but I dont want to leave if I know I am
just going to forgive his stupid butt and
come right back to him. I want our
relationship to work, I really really do.
But not if this is how I am going to spend
the rest of my life. Sorry this is sooo
long, I just relaly need advice. Thanks
lisa
|
LisaQSanders
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Feb 2005 Posts: 13 Location: texas
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-05 18:17pm
:(
|
l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-05 19:07pm
Hey lisa. I saw that you're a med
student. I have been through tough times
with my husband, but he was willing to go
to counseling and has made great changes
so I stayed. If he wasn't willing to
that I would have left. I think you
should leave. You have a daughter, who
you would never want mixed up with a bad
guy, and you have a promising future.
I have a good friend who's a doc. She
and her husband met in hs. He drank too
much in hs. They both went to college.
After college they married. She thought
he would change and grow out of his
drinking. But they are now in their 40s.
He still drinks and lives off of her.
She is so unhappy, but they have 3
children who love him. She doesn't want
to leave b/c of her kids, and she doesn't
want to hurt her husband. She's 41 years
old. She has worked so hard for
everything in her life. To look at her
you would think she has it all. But she
is so miserable, sad, and lonely. Make
the changes now. You will find the love
of your life. Someone who will treat you
and your daughter like gold. It will
hurt now, but you will not regret it.
Sometimes you have to stop thinking about
what you want and instead think about what
you don't want. You don't want your
daughter to learn from this relationship,
you don't want to feel the exact same way
you do right now when your 41. Take
care.
|
LisaQSanders
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Feb 2005 Posts: 13 Location: texas
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-05 19:22pm
Thank you sooo much. I understand what I
need to do, its just doing it. I have
been talking to some poeple and have made
a choice of leaving him. Soon, thank you
sooooo much
|
pinkbaby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 618 Location: Arizona
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-05 20:26pm
I usually wouldent read a looong story
like that, but something caught my
attention. Hhmmm, I would leave him too.
His daughter should be reason enough for
him to change, or get his act together. I
think that you should leave him for your
daughter, it would be so sad for her to
watch you go through that, then when she
grows up, she will think its ok for some
man to treat her that way, because thats
all shes experienced. Well, thats what I
would be most worried about if I was in
your shoes. Plus, you deserve better, for
you, why should you live your life unhappy
for him? 5 years is a long time, but be
glad its not 20, then you would be even
more in the hole. You said you decided to
leave him, but are you going to beable to
stay away from him? When he promises to
change, dont believe him, if he really
wants to change, he should have to prove
it to you, and if he doesnt then youll be
better off alone anyways.
|
lil_Miss_Pimp
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2005 Posts: 13 Location: Georgia
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Same Situation Posted: 05-15-05 12:35pm
I am 15 years old and I might be pregnant
by another man than the guy I am with now.
I am in an abusive relationship. I
have never been to the hospital neither,
but it still goes on. We have been
together for 15 months, and I have put up
with him cutting me, kicking me, pushing
me, pulling my hair, raping me, verbal
abuse, and so on. We never get along.
I found someone who respects me and cares
for me and is trying to help me leave him.
Trust me I know how you feel. Do this
for your child. Be strong for her. I
don't know my father and it's best that I
dont' because he raped my mother and left
me alone. Never gave my mother any
support. He is a deadbeat. Think of
your beautiful little girl. She will
encourage you to do it. Do whats best
for her. :d
|
lilmammi
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Aug 2005 Posts: 34 Location: ohio
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Re: Same Situation Posted: 08-24-05 05:10am
lil_miss_pimp
wrote:
i am 15 years old and I
might be pregnant by another man than the
guy I am with now. I am in an abusive
relationship. I have never been to the
hospital neither, but it still goes on.
We have been together for 15 months, and I
have put up with him cutting me, kicking
me, pushing me, pulling my hair, raping
me, verbal abuse, and so on. We never
get along. I found someone who respects
me and cares for me and is trying to help
me leave him. Trust me I know how you
feel. Do this for your child. Be
strong for her. I don't know my father
and it's best that I dont' because he
raped my mother and left me alone.
Never gave my mother any support. He is
a deadbeat. Think of your beautiful
little girl. She will encourage you to
do it. Do whats best for her.
:d
exactly as she said think of your baby, he
obviously doesnt care about her, or he
wouldnt be doing the things he is...Agin
he obviously doesnt care about you or he
wouldnt be doing the things he is...You
deserve way better...U need to encourage
yourself to leave befor it gets too late.
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealthForum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealthForum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on April 1, 2008
