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Max_Mummy too be
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2004 Posts: 238 Location: Hampshire- England
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Garry Wont Tell His Dad.
Posted: 02-10-05 11:20am
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Jay is 8 days old now, and garry never
told his dad when I was preg, and he isnt
sure he wants to tell his dad now she is
here.
I dont think its fair on jay, that her
grandad dosent know she exists.
But garrys dad left when garry was really
young, and hasnt really had anything to do
with garry since.
Garry also mentioned that he might feel
jealous if his dad pays more attention to
jay, and wants to be in jays life, since
his dad was never there for him.
I dont know whether I should be pursuading
him to tell his dad for jays sake, or
whether its better for both of them if
garry dosent tell his dad at all.
Ive never met garrys dad either.
What u all think?
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 02-10-05 11:31am
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First off congrats on having your little
girl!!!! I found out i'm gonna have a
boy!
Anyway does garry talk to his dad at all
now??
I don't speak to my father and haven't in
about 14 years and have no plans on
telling him and my son is gonna have my
bf's last name since I don't even want to
carry on my last name.
This is a hard situation cause sometimes
dad's grow up finally when their kids have
kids. I can understand the jealousy
thing but garry also has to realize that
he's a dad now and has to "grow up" a bit
(i'm not saying he's immature but....You
know)
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Max_Mummy too be
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2004 Posts: 238 Location: Hampshire- England
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Posted: 02-10-05 11:47am
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Thankyou.
Garry dosent really talk to his dad. His
dad sends him the odd messages every now
and then,(mainly when he is leaving the
country) and stops by with birthday and
christmas presents, but they dont
"talk".
I understand the jealousy thing aswell,
my dad is still having kids with my step
mum, shes 4 months preg now. And im
hoping they have another boy, because I
dont want my dad to have another
daughter.
Its kinda petty really.
Maybe garry does need to grow up a lil,
now hes a dad aswell. But I just want him
to be happy, as much as I want jay to be
happy.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 02-10-05 11:57am
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People might not agree with me but I think
it should be up to garry whether to tell
his dad or not. But i'm sure it'll come
out sooner or later if his dad does call
him and drops off gifts.
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:04pm
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Awww honey. What a bad situation. Idk,
but I think he should tell his dad. He
should try to heal that relationship.
For him and for you and jay. He may have
some feelings of jealousy, but that's
normal. Just as dads get jealous of baby
when she gets all moms attention. But
really, I think it would make him happy to
see his dad in a diff way. The loving
person that he always wanted. My husband
had similar issues with his dad, and they
are doing well now. It's hard but he has
to forgive and move on. Bring his dad
into your lives or will eat away at garry.
And what will he tell jay when she asks
about him in a few years?
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:17pm
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Well I guess I can start off by saying.
You need to respect your bf wishes for a
min. And find out what is all behind
closed doors there might be more to it.
The first step would be to meet this man
and see if he is someone you would want
your child around. Also your bf is really
hurt. I know how he feels. My father was
in and out of my life and he remarried and
now has a 2yr old son. I took my kids to
meet him and he said he couldnt love no
person children so I havent seen or spoke
to him since. So that is why I say find
out more about this man before you try to
persuade. There might be a reason why he
left. No one really knows until your bf
gets the courage to ask the why questions.
Good luck hun and I wish you guys the
best. But also remember somethings are
better left alone
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:21pm
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| tazzy d
wrote: | | well I guess I can start off
by saying. You need to respect your bf
wishes for a min. And find out what is
all behind closed doors there might be
more to it. The first step would be to
meet this man and see if he is someone you
would want your child around. Also your
bf is really hurt. I know how he feels.
My father was in and out of my life and
he remarried and now has a 2yr old son.
I took my kids to meet him and he said he
couldnt love no person children so I
havent seen or spoke to him since. So
that is why I say find out more about this
man before you try to persuade. There
might be a reason why he left. No one
really knows until your bf gets the
courage to ask the why questions. Good
luck hun and I wish you guys the best.
But also remember somethings are better
left alone |
well I think your dad deserves a swift
kick in the a$$ for saying what he did.
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sheeridinprincess
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 98 Location: Oregon
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:22pm
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My boyfriends real dad left when my
boyfriend was a tiny baby and then 24 yrs
later when mybf brother lod his dad he had
a daughter he choose to write justin and
try and be a part of our duahgters life
but not justin's so I can kinda see the
point your bf has about being jealous.
But to this day he has never made anymore
effort to see her and she will be 3 in
apirl.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:37pm
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| lil_blaze2004
wrote: | | tazzy d
wrote: | | well I guess I can start off
by saying. You need to respect your bf
wishes for a min. And find out what is
all behind closed doors there might be
more to it. The first step would be to
meet this man and see if he is someone you
would want your child around. Also your
bf is really hurt. I know how he feels.
My father was in and out of my life and
he remarried and now has a 2yr old son.
I took my kids to meet him and he said he
couldnt love no person children so I
havent seen or spoke to him since. So
that is why I say find out more about this
man before you try to persuade. There
might be a reason why he left. No one
really knows until your bf gets the
courage to ask the why questions. Good
luck hun and I wish you guys the best.
But also remember somethings are better
left alone |
well I think your dad deserves a swift
kick in the a$$ for saying what he
did. |
trust me he is going to ... When his son
grows up and wants to be with the biggest
black girl in town... That is when ill
get my laugh back
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:41pm
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| tazzy d
wrote: | | lil_blaze2004
wrote: | | tazzy d
wrote: | | well I guess I can start off
by saying. You need to respect your bf
wishes for a min. And find out what is
all behind closed doors there might be
more to it. The first step would be to
meet this man and see if he is someone you
would want your child around. Also
your bf is really hurt. I know how he
feels. My father was in and out of my
life and he remarried and now has a 2yr
old son. I took my kids to meet him
and he said he couldnt love no person
children so I havent seen or spoke to him
since. So that is why I say find out
more about this man before you try to
persuade. There might be a reason why
he left. No one really knows until
your bf gets the courage to ask the why
questions. Good luck hun and I wish
you guys the best. But also remember
somethings are better left
alone |
well I think your dad deserves a swift
kick in the a$$ for saying what he
did. |
trust me he is going to ... When his son
grows up and wants to be with the biggest
black girl in town... That is when ill
get my laugh
back |
is it true that a lot of people in the
south are very racist???
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:43pm
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| lil_blaze2004
wrote: | | tazzy d
wrote: | | lil_blaze2004
wrote: | | tazzy d
wrote: | | well I guess I can start off
by saying. You need to respect your
bf wishes for a min. And find out
what is all behind closed doors there
might be more to it. The first step
would be to meet this man and see if he is
someone you would want your child around.
Also your bf is really hurt. I
know how he feels. My father was in
and out of my life and he remarried and
now has a 2yr old son. I took my kids
to meet him and he said he couldnt love no
person children so I havent seen or spoke
to him since. So that is why I say
find out more about this man before you
try to persuade. There might be a
reason why he left. No one really
knows until your bf gets the courage to
ask the why questions. Good luck hun
and I wish you guys the best. But
also remember somethings are better left
alone |
well I think your dad deserves a swift
kick in the a$$ for saying what he
did. |
trust me he is going to ... When his
son grows up and wants to be with the
biggest black girl in town... That is
when ill get my laugh
back |
is it true that a lot of people in the
south are very
racist??? |
i think so. But it has gotten better
some...
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 02-10-05 12:56pm
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| tazzy d
wrote: |
is it true that a lot of people in the
south are very
racist??? |
i think so. But it has gotten better
some...[/quote]
i really love montreal...Other than this
bloody snow!!!!!! Arhg!!! Lol
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BrianBaby
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2005 Posts: 1383
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Posted: 02-10-05 17:29pm
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I think because it's such a tough
situation, it should be up to garry wether
or not he wants his dad to be in jay's
life. Personally I think it would be
nice for garry to give his dad a chance at
the grandpa thing.....He might be jealous
at first, but for the sake of his son he
should suck it up....Idk....Good luck
though!
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
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Posted: 02-11-05 05:50am
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I hadnt talked to my dad in 10 years and
we finally went to him to tell him I was
pregnant... We both felt he had a right
to know
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 02-11-05 09:04am
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Me? I would never tell my father (he's
sure not my dad) even if my boyfriend
said he thought I should (which he never
would) why should he get any happiness
out of my child. I have a great step-dad
and my son's middle name is gonna be after
my step-dad and i'm not even using my last
name for my son it's gonna be my
boyfriend's last name. I want nothing to
do with my father and don't think my son
should have anything to do with the friend
either.
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