My Bf Thinks This Baby Is a Mistake:( Posted: 02-10-05 18:38pm
I just drove six hours to see my boyfriend
and when I got here all he has done was
tell me how this is ruining our lives.
Im almost 22 and he's 24 years old, it's
not like we are so young and can't do it
on our own.
When I found out I was pregnant I agreed
with him that I would get an abortion, on
my way there I prayed that something would
happen and it wouldn't happen, well it
did, and they wouldn't accept checks.
So after a long fight w/ my boyfriend he
accepted the fact that I was keeping it.
Well now i'm really excited about the
baby, but he isn't. He doesn't plan on
living w/ me and he doesn't even wanna
move anywhere around me and he says that
if I live w/ him that he can't support me
and the baby and I would have to get a
job, but I couldn't b/c I would have to
take care of the baby. He just doesn't
understand, I want my baby to have it's
daddy, but I don't think he cares...
Has anybody been through this? I'm
hoping his attitude will change once the
baby is here.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 02-10-05 18:43pm
It is great that you are excited. His
attitude probably will not change. That
isn't what you want to hear, I know, but
it probably wont. Or he will be one of
the guys, who after you support and raise
the baby on your own for the first six or
eight years, then they will come around
and be all buddy buddy to the kid. Ya
know, superdad! Grrrr. Men.
Anyway, you can do it on your own, dear.
You sound mature enough to make it. If
he really thinks that this is "ruining
your lives" then he should have thought
about that before you two had sex.
Just make it known (which I am sure that
you have) that you want him to be part of
the baby's life and that he is welcome to
see the baby when he wants and just go
from there. Maybe he will change his
mind once the baby is here, but just don't
get your hopes up, that's all.
Good luck to you and congratulations!
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southernluvin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 19 Location: Kansas
Posted: 02-10-05 19:16pm
I hate when boys be actin like that. My
boyfriend and I got caught up in the
moment and then he asked me if I planned
for this to happen. But then he later
apologized and said that all these things
were running through his head.
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 02-10-05 19:46pm
He may come around. I'm sorry you're
going through that. Being pregnant is
hard and you need the from the people you
love. I hope you have other family that
is there for you. Just try to keep him
involved. Tell him about your appts,
show him pics, share info from the doc.
If he really gets angry when you try to
keep him posted, don't push him. The
most important person is the baby.
Regardless of what happens, keep daddy in
a positive light. Take care.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 02-11-05 05:41am
Babe i'm sorry but if he doesnt want the
baby then he doesnt want the baby and he
may not change his opinion on that... But
you can to work and raise a child
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BrianBaby
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2005 Posts: 1383
Posted: 02-11-05 08:13am
There's always child support....
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redsugar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 140
Posted: 02-11-05 08:40am
Very true brianbaby! But now he is being
sweet about the baby. I think last night
I was just having an emotional breakdown
b/c he said that just b/c I was pregnant
doesn't mean it's gonna speed up the
process of us getting married. Which I
didn't expect it to, but u would think if
he eventually one day wants to marry me
that he would wanna do even sooner now.
Oh well...
I am glad that he is being nicer now. I
went through a similar situation with my
x. When I first got pregnant we were both
scared then happy and then he decided he
wanted nothing to do w/me or his baby.
Now he wants to be there for his birth and
hear about my appointments and stuff. I
think things work out in the end as god
intends. Goodluck sweetie.
Ps you should not use the fact they didn't
take checks as to why u chose not to have
an abortion. I think you should really
want to keep the baby and that should be
why. (i don't believe in abortion and am
in no way supporting it)!!
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redsugar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 140
Posted: 02-11-05 12:42pm
Newmommy that isn't really my reason why I
didn't have one. Its my reason why I
didn't have one that day, I actually made
an appointment to have it done a different
day, but I realized I couldn't go through
with it. I have never believed in
abortions, but when I got pregnant my bf
kept making me feel bad and I was in a
confused state of mind. But luckily I
came to my sinces and i'm very excited
now!!!
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-11-05 12:43pm
Red. Glad you decided to keep the baby.
Tell us about yourself. How far along
are you, etc...
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BrianBaby
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2005 Posts: 1383
Posted: 02-11-05 12:46pm
redsugar
wrote:
very true brianbaby! But
now he is being sweet about the baby. I
think last night I was just having an
emotional breakdown b/c he said that just
b/c I was pregnant doesn't mean it's gonna
speed up the process of us getting
married. Which I didn't expect it to,
but u would think if he eventually one day
wants to marry me that he would wanna do
even sooner now. Oh
well...
well i'm glad he's being better about the
baby.....He's probably just really
overwhelmed right now and the thought of
having a baby and getting married is
scaring him......Just hang in there hun!!
Good luck!! :)
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redsugar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 140
Posted: 02-11-05 12:55pm
Well....21 yrs old, and I am tomorrow I
will be exactly 10 weeks. I'm sooo
excited about this baby. But I know it's
gonna be hard. I had to drop out of
college so I can get a job for now, i'm
living w/ my parents, they are pretty
supportive, my sis got pregnant when she
was 17 so they weren't too mad at me.
That's a little bit about myself....Oh and
I am obsessed with these boards, I even go
and read the posts from like a year
ago!!!!!Hehe!
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-11-05 13:24pm
Yes obsession with these boards is quite
common..Lol as for school, you can go
back after. As for your parents it's
great that they are supportive of you.
As for the bf. I guess all I can say is
wait and see. Good luck!
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lulabelle
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2005 Posts: 25 Location: sc
Posted: 02-11-05 17:14pm
Sorry but your bf sounds like he only
cares about himself. Congratulations, a
baby is a wonderful gift that so many
people take for granted... You can let
your bf know that he can be a part of the
baby's life, it's his decison if he is or
not, and by the sounds of it, he probably
won't be. I know from experience. I
have a 10 yr. Old daughter, my bf at the
time wanted me to get preg. I went off
birth control, and got preg. We were
living together, the night I told him I
was preg. He moved out and has never laid
eyes on my daughter. I have worked, and
supported my daughter on my own and she is
a wonderful child. It hasn't been easy,
and luckily I found a man who not only
loves me, but loves my daughter like she
is his... You will find this too.
Remeber, the lord will never put more on
you than you can handle. I know you are
probably scared and nervous at the thought
of being on your own with a child, but if
your bf has that kind of attitude, you are
better off without him.. Believe me!!
Been there and done that!!
Don't worry sweetie, it will all work out.
If you need to talk let me know... I
know how you feel and what you are going
thru...
