Something Cute For Today

Games for when we are older
>
> 1. Sag, you're it.

> 2. Hide and go pee
> 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

> 4. Kick the bucket
> 5. Red rover, red rover, the nurse says bend over.

> 6. Musical recliners.

> 7. Simon says something incoherent.

> 8. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.

>
> signs of menopause:
>
> 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

> 2 you have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

> 3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

>
> old is when:
>
> 1. Going! Bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

> 2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you
> don't have to go along.

> 3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

> 4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

> 5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

> 6. A friend is like a good bra: hard to
> find, supportive, comfortable, and always close to your heart!

>
> thoughts for the weekend:
>
> I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
> clothing.

> if I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in
> the first place!

>
> when I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
> "chunky dunk."
>
> wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we cou! Ld simpl y
> press 'ctrl alt delete' and start all over?

>
> stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't
> fallen asleep yet.

>
> my husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's
> what he said.

>
> if raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
> with something called labor!

>
> brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever