Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Manitoba, Canada
17, Pregnant And Engaged Posted: 02-11-05 15:19pm
I have never really used a forum before to
get opinions from people, and I have a
huge fear of other people's opinions
because I am afraid of what they'll think
but I really need another perspective on
my situation: I am 17 years old, when I
was 14 years old I got pregnant by someone
I thought who loved me but I got an
abortion because I thought of having my
whole life ahead of me. Now I am with
someone different, I am in a completely
different area of the province -- we've
been dating almost three months and I am
pregnant. A week before I found out I was
pregnant, he had proposed to me and I had
said yes. I know it sounds crazy, but we
really do love each other and it's not
teenage drama or stupidity. My parents
accept the fact that my boyfriend and I
want to keep the baby, and I am about a
month along. He has a good, steady job
and we moved back with my parents so that
we could save more money before the day
the baby comes. But I am scared. There
have been so many problems with births and
pregnancies in my family I am really
scared and I am afraid that my fiance
hates me now. He's so quiet, and some
days he just sits there and stares at me.
I don't know what to think, and to make
matters even worse -- all our friends have
turned their backs on us and have
absolutely no idea what's going on and if
they ever found out an emotional explosion
would occur. I just don't know how to
deal with all of this going on...And I
really needed to get it all of my
chest...Mostly my fear of something going
wrong.
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 02-11-05 15:27pm
What do you mean something going wrong?
With the baby? You have to leave that up
to the lord. No sense in worrying
yourself silly over that. About your
fiance. I know me and my husband got
married as soon as we could, when I was
18. I met him when I was 15. We have
been married now for 6.5 years.
Everything is going great. We have two
girls ages 1 and 2.5. We struggled for
the first couple years of our marriage,
but as long as there are two willing
parties you guys will get through
anything. I wish you the best. Take
care.
Lana
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-11-05 15:29pm
Well seems like you're going through a
bunch of sh*t all at once. How old is
your fiance? (no offense but idon't
understand girls who get married so young
-but that is just me and I don't really
want to get married ever! And i'm 25) as
for being pregnant, i'm guessing it wasn't
planned. Give your fiance time to get
used to it, if he keeps acting weird maybe
you will have to rethink whether you
really want to be together or not. As
for the problems in your family concerning
pregnancies, just relax whatever is
suppose to happen will happen. I had 2
miscarriages before this pregnancy and now
I am 21 weeks along. This is really a
great forum with great people who can help
you through pretty much anything.
Anyway i'm jess 25yrs, been living with my
bf for 3 years (no marriage plans!!-lol)
and 21 weeks pregnant with a little boy.
Welcome!
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TeffyRoze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 02-11-05 15:34pm
Well, the troubles with the pregnancies in
the family are things like my grandmother
had 4-5 miscarriages. My two aunts had
babies and the placenta or something
seperated from the baby so it wasn't
recieving anything so my aunt had to give
birth to a dead baby. I really hate
thinking about that. And I have a very
religious family, or the one side of my
family is and the reason we want to get
married so fast is because we want to all
have the same last name and I don't want
people running around calling my kid a
health questions 'cause then i'd have to
knock them in the teeth with my fist
because I wouldn't want anyone calling my
kid a health questions. And my fiance is
almost 19 years old. Believe me, this
isn't even half of the stuff that I have
to go through or have gone
through...Blah... :?
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momee2b
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 32 Location: Toronto
Posted: 02-11-05 15:36pm
Know what, whatever happens it happens for
a reason...Don't be negative be happy for
the blessings that god has given
you...Your baby because not every woman
can have one, your boyfriend who is there
for you and your parents that no matter
what they still welcome you and who love
and cares for you.
About other people/friends...Who cares
what they think...Real friends are always
there for you not only in good times but
in bad times as well.
So cheer up.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-11-05 15:36pm
Well my mom had 5 miscarriages before
finally having me and my grandmother gave
birth to 2 still born babies. Like lana
said it's in god's hands. There is
nothing you can really do to stop those
kinds of things. If they're gonna happen
there is a reason. Good luck though
fellow canuck-:)
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TeffyRoze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 02-11-05 15:38pm
I guess so...
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TeffyRoze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 02-11-05 15:40pm
Everything just seems so hard. :oops:
this was a stupid topic to start. Sorry
for wasting your guys' time...
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-11-05 15:44pm
teffyroze
wrote:
everything just seems so
hard. :oops: this was a stupid topic to
start. Sorry for wasting your guys'
time...
no don't think that at all. Support
forums are here for a reason. I came on
back in october cause I too was worried
about miscarrying and cannot believe I am
as far along as I am now. I was 4 weeks
when I first came to the site...
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 02-11-05 16:24pm
I thought I would have given you some hope
with my post. All the ladies on this
forum have all gone through tough times.
You can vent about whatever. We know
what it feels like to be preg, scared,
sad, happy, yucky, wonderful, devastated,
crazy, tired, hungry, sick, lonely,
unsure, excited.....
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girlstar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 185 Location: Canada
Posted: 02-11-05 16:28pm
Hey hun. You aren't wasting our time.
We're glad to help you out.. That's what
we're here for. I'm tracy, 18, recently
engaged and 8w5d preggo with our first.
My family is also very very religious..
So I know how that feels. Try not to
worry about things going wrong.. I know
it's hard not too, but try. Enjoy your
pregnancy! :) congrats. I hope things
work out for you
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Tiffany0512
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 135 Location: Maple Ridge, BC
Re: 17, Pregnant And Engaged Posted: 02-11-05 18:09pm
teffyroze
wrote:
i have never really used a
forum before to get opinions from people,
and I have a huge fear of other people's
opinions because I am afraid of what
they'll think but I really need another
perspective on my situation: I am 17 years
old, when I was 14 years old I got
pregnant by someone I thought who loved me
but I got an abortion because I thought of
having my whole life ahead of me. Now I
am with someone different, I am in a
completely different area of the province
-- we've been dating almost three months
and I am pregnant. A week before I found
out I was pregnant, he had proposed to me
and I had said yes. I know it sounds
crazy, but we really do love each other
and it's not teenage drama or stupidity.
My parents accept the fact that my
boyfriend and I want to keep the baby, and
I am about a month along. He has a good,
steady job and we moved back with my
parents so that we could save more money
before the day the baby comes. But I am
scared. There have been so many problems
with births and pregnancies in my family I
am really scared and I am afraid that my
fiance hates me now. He's so quiet, and
some days he just sits there and stares at
me. I don't know what to think, and to
make matters even worse -- all our friends
have turned their backs on us and have
absolutely no idea what's going on and if
they ever found out an emotional explosion
would occur. I just don't know how to
deal with all of this going on...And I
really needed to get it all of my
chest...Mostly my fear of something going
wrong.
welcome to the pregnancy forum. My name
is tiffany and I am 20 years old. My
husband and I have been together since I
was 15 and this past august we got
married. We are now 27w2d pregnant. My
husband is the same way. Somenights he
lies there and just stares at me. I think
that there amazed that their baby is
growing inside of you. Getting married
and having a baby is not something that is
going to be easy. There will be good and
bad days, but god has given you the
responsibility, because he thinks you can
handle it. I am sure everything will be
fine. Good luck with everything, if you
need to talk im here
tiffany :)
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bobjohn1980
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 8 Location: PA
Posted: 02-11-05 19:25pm
Try not to stress over everything too
much, it'll just make you crazy. My mom
had trouble w/all 3 of her pregnancies.
They were all good til the end, my 2
younger brothers almost died during
delivery but after they were born &
taken care of, they were fine. When I had
my son everything went fine & he was
healthy so just b/c people in your family
had problems with their pregnancies,
doesn't mean you will. Just take care
yourself so the baby is taken care of.
As for your boyfriend, whatever's meant to
be will be. There's alot of kids out
there who doesn't have the same last name
as their mom. My son's last name is
different & i'm not with his father
anymore so my last name will never be the
same as his, so try not to dwell on that
too much. I hope everything works out for
you.
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littlered
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2005 Posts: 268
Posted: 02-12-05 17:27pm
Try not to worry so much about something
is going to happen or might happen with
the pregnancy.
As for you boyfriend talk to him. Let him
know how you feel and ask how he feels.
If you don't want to do it face to face.
Write him a letter. And about wasteing
everybody's time. Don't worry about that.
Because you are not wasting anybody's
time. If we thought that it was wasting
our time for being on this forum. We
wouldn't be here.
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ineedhelpfastplz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jan 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Georgia
Posted: 02-12-05 20:16pm
Listen, I got preg. When I was 14 and had
a beautiful baby girl 9 months later..I
had her a month before I turned 16 and now
I am now 16 and my lil girl is 3 months
old and my bf and I just got engaged
yesterday. He is a wonderful daddy and a
wonderful bf and I know he'll be a great
husband. So dont worry and if anyone has
anything to say about me..I'll kick ur
ass..Bc I dont care about negative
comments..Im getting my ged right now and
as soon as I do i'll be going to college..
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TeffyRoze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 02-13-05 10:52am
I know you are all right. Or most of you.
And ineedhelpfastplz...I am not much
older than you so I dont see why people
would have a problem with it. Not too
long ago a thirteen year old had a little
girl around here. So dont worry about
it..Plus these people seem to care and
share their support.
As for everything going on with me...I
talked to my fiance. Hilarious thing is
we went shopping and he got me an
engagement ring for valentines day. We
couldnt wait to share our valentines day
gifts with each other so he let me open it
and its gorgeous. I talked to him like
some of you have mentioned, and he is just
afraid I hate him...Which I dont. I guess
its from all my mood swings.
My friends are not my friends, they're my
fiance's. They hate me cos I dated some
guy when I first moved here for three
months. It was not long after that that I
started hating him all fallin in love with
my loving fiance now. It was always about
making my ex happy, and I hated it. I
didnt love him. So...Everyone hates each
other now and I feel like its my fault.
And most of this stuff...Is put into my
head by my mom...
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littlered
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2005 Posts: 268
Posted: 02-13-05 12:01pm
It is not your fault that everyone hates
each other. It is just the way things can
turn out and it is no body's fault. If
you didn't love the guy that you dated
before you met your fiance. Then you
shouldn't have started with him. You got
to love somebody. You do what makes you
happy and don't worry about nobody else.
And good to hear that everything is
working out with your fiance.
