Pregnancy Forum - 17, Pregnant And Engaged

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Q: 17, Pregnant And Engaged

asked by: TeffyRoze on February 11th, 2005

New User

I have never really used a forum before to get opinions from people, and I have a huge fear of other people's opinions because I am afraid of what they'll think but I really need another perspective on my situation: I am 17 years old, when I was 14 years old I got pregnant by someone I thought who loved me but I got an abortion because I thought of having my whole life ahead of me. Now I am with someone different, I am in a completely different area of the province -- we've been dating almost three months and I am pregnant. A week before I found out I was pregnant, he had proposed to me and I had said yes. I know it sounds crazy, but we really do love each other and it's not teenage drama or stupidity. My parents accept the fact that my boyfriend and I want to keep the baby, and I am about a month along. He has a good, steady job and we moved back with my parents so that we could save more money before the day the baby comes. But I am scared. There have been so many problems with births and pregnancies in my family I am really scared and I am afraid that my fiance hates me now. He's so quiet, and some days he just sits there and stares at me. I don't know what to think, and to make matters even worse -- all our friends have turned their backs on us and have absolutely no idea what's going on and if they ever found out an emotional explosion would occur. I just don't know how to deal with all of this going on...And I really needed to get it all of my chest...Mostly my fear of something going wrong.

Replies(16)

l2at24

replied on February 11th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

What do you mean something going wrong? With the baby? You have to leave that up to the lord. No sense in worrying yourself silly over that. About your fiance. I know me and my husband got married as soon as we could, when I was 18. I met him when I was 15. We have been married now for 6.5 years. Everything is going great. We have two girls ages 1 and 2.5. We struggled for the first couple years of our marriage, but as long as there are two willing parties you guys will get through anything. I wish you the best. Take care.

Lana

lil_blaze2004

replied on February 11th, 2005

Moderator

Well seems like you're going through a bunch of sh*t all at once. How old is your fiance? (no offense but idon't understand girls who get married so young -but that is just me and I don't really want to get married ever! And i'm 25) as for being pregnant, i'm guessing it wasn't planned. Give your fiance time to get used to it, if he keeps acting weird maybe you will have to rethink whether you really want to be together or not. As for the problems in your family concerning pregnancies, just relax whatever is suppose to happen will happen. I had 2 miscarriages before this pregnancy and now I am 21 weeks along. This is really a great forum with great people who can help you through pretty much anything.

Anyway i'm jess 25yrs, been living with my bf for 3 years (no marriage plans!!-lol) and 21 weeks pregnant with a little boy. Welcome!

TeffyRoze

replied on February 11th, 2005

New User

Well, the troubles with the pregnancies in the family are things like my grandmother had 4-5 miscarriages. My two aunts had babies and the placenta or something seperated from the baby so it wasn't recieving anything so my aunt had to give birth to a dead baby. I really hate thinking about that. And I have a very religious family, or the one side of my family is and the reason we want to get married so fast is because we want to all have the same last name and I don't want people running around calling my kid a health questions 'cause then i'd have to knock them in the teeth with my fist because I wouldn't want anyone calling my kid a health questions. And my fiance is almost 19 years old. Believe me, this isn't even half of the stuff that I have to go through or have gone through...Blah... :?

momee2b

replied on February 11th, 2005

New User

Know what, whatever happens it happens for a reason...Don't be negative be happy for the blessings that god has given you...Your baby because not every woman can have one, your boyfriend who is there for you and your parents that no matter what they still welcome you and who love and cares for you.

About other people/friends...Who cares what they think...Real friends are always there for you not only in good times but in bad times as well.

So cheer up.

lil_blaze2004

replied on February 11th, 2005

Moderator

Well my mom had 5 miscarriages before finally having me and my grandmother gave birth to 2 still born babies. Like lana said it's in god's hands. There is nothing you can really do to stop those kinds of things. If they're gonna happen there is a reason. Good luck though fellow canuck-:)

TeffyRoze

replied on February 11th, 2005

New User

I guess so...

TeffyRoze

replied on February 11th, 2005

New User

Everything just seems so hard. :oops: this was a stupid topic to start. Sorry for wasting your guys' time...

lil_blaze2004

replied on February 11th, 2005

Moderator

teffyroze wrote:

everything just seems so hard. :oops: this was a stupid topic to start. Sorry for wasting your guys' time...

no don't think that at all. Support forums are here for a reason. I came on back in october cause I too was worried about miscarrying and cannot believe I am as far along as I am now. I was 4 weeks when I first came to the site...

l2at24

replied on February 11th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

I thought I would have given you some hope with my post. All the ladies on this forum have all gone through tough times. You can vent about whatever. We know what it feels like to be preg, scared, sad, happy, yucky, wonderful, devastated, crazy, tired, hungry, sick, lonely, unsure, excited.....

girlstar

replied on February 11th, 2005

Experienced User

Hey hun. You aren't wasting our time. We're glad to help you out.. That's what we're here for. I'm tracy, 18, recently engaged and 8w5d preggo with our first. My family is also very very religious.. So I know how that feels. Try not to worry about things going wrong.. I know it's hard not too, but try. Enjoy your pregnancy! :) congrats. I hope things work out for you

Tiffany0512

replied on February 11th, 2005

Experienced User

Re: 17, Pregnant And Engaged

teffyroze wrote:

i have never really used a forum before to get opinions from people, and I have a huge fear of other people's opinions because I am afraid of what they'll think but I really need another perspective on my situation: I am 17 years old, when I was 14 years old I got pregnant by someone I thought who loved me but I got an abortion because I thought of having my whole life ahead of me. Now I am with someone different, I am in a completely different area of the province -- we've been dating almost three months and I am pregnant. A week before I found out I was pregnant, he had proposed to me and I had said yes. I know it sounds crazy, but we really do love each other and it's not teenage drama or stupidity. My parents accept the fact that my boyfriend and I want to keep the baby, and I am about a month along. He has a good, steady job and we moved back with my parents so that we could save more money before the day the baby comes. But I am scared. There have been so many problems with births and pregnancies in my family I am really scared and I am afraid that my fiance hates me now. He's so quiet, and some days he just sits there and stares at me. I don't know what to think, and to make matters even worse -- all our friends have turned their backs on us and have absolutely no idea what's going on and if they ever found out an emotional explosion would occur. I just don't know how to deal with all of this going on...And I really needed to get it all of my chest...Mostly my fear of something going wrong.

welcome to the pregnancy forum. My name is tiffany and I am 20 years old. My husband and I have been together since I was 15 and this past august we got married. We are now 27w2d pregnant. My husband is the same way. Somenights he lies there and just stares at me. I think that there amazed that their baby is growing inside of you. Getting married and having a baby is not something that is going to be easy. There will be good and bad days, but god has given you the responsibility, because he thinks you can handle it. I am sure everything will be fine. Good luck with everything, if you need to talk im here

tiffany :)

bobjohn1980

replied on February 11th, 2005

New User

Try not to stress over everything too much, it'll just make you crazy. My mom had trouble w/all 3 of her pregnancies. They were all good til the end, my 2 younger brothers almost died during delivery but after they were born & taken care of, they were fine. When I had my son everything went fine & he was healthy so just b/c people in your family had problems with their pregnancies, doesn't mean you will. Just take care yourself so the baby is taken care of. As for your boyfriend, whatever's meant to be will be. There's alot of kids out there who doesn't have the same last name as their mom. My son's last name is different & i'm not with his father anymore so my last name will never be the same as his, so try not to dwell on that too much. I hope everything works out for you.

littlered

replied on February 12th, 2005

Experienced User

Try not to worry so much about something is going to happen or might happen with the pregnancy.

As for you boyfriend talk to him. Let him know how you feel and ask how he feels. If you don't want to do it face to face. Write him a letter. And about wasteing everybody's time. Don't worry about that. Because you are not wasting anybody's time. If we thought that it was wasting our time for being on this forum. We wouldn't be here.

ineedhelpfastplz

replied on February 12th, 2005

New User

Listen, I got preg. When I was 14 and had a beautiful baby girl 9 months later..I had her a month before I turned 16 and now I am now 16 and my lil girl is 3 months old and my bf and I just got engaged yesterday. He is a wonderful daddy and a wonderful bf and I know he'll be a great husband. So dont worry and if anyone has anything to say about me..I'll kick ur ass..Bc I dont care about negative comments..Im getting my ged right now and as soon as I do i'll be going to college..

TeffyRoze

replied on February 13th, 2005

New User

I know you are all right. Or most of you. And ineedhelpfastplz...I am not much older than you so I dont see why people would have a problem with it. Not too long ago a thirteen year old had a little girl around here. So dont worry about it..Plus these people seem to care and share their support.

As for everything going on with me...I talked to my fiance. Hilarious thing is we went shopping and he got me an engagement ring for valentines day. We couldnt wait to share our valentines day gifts with each other so he let me open it and its gorgeous. I talked to him like some of you have mentioned, and he is just afraid I hate him...Which I dont. I guess its from all my mood swings.

My friends are not my friends, they're my fiance's. They hate me cos I dated some guy when I first moved here for three months. It was not long after that that I started hating him all fallin in love with my loving fiance now. It was always about making my ex happy, and I hated it. I didnt love him. So...Everyone hates each other now and I feel like its my fault.

And most of this stuff...Is put into my head by my mom...

littlered

replied on February 13th, 2005

Experienced User

It is not your fault that everyone hates each other. It is just the way things can turn out and it is no body's fault. If you didn't love the guy that you dated before you met your fiance. Then you shouldn't have started with him. You got to love somebody. You do what makes you happy and don't worry about nobody else.

And good to hear that everything is working out with your fiance.

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