Confused About Me!!

Hey kelsey
it sadened me to read your post ,i am 31 have had a rough trot
been extremely depressed feel like I have to constantly try to please people to be accepted ,i lost a baby at 14 weeks pregnant had a stillbirth with twins (babies dies at birth) have a seven year old with cerabral palsey and a 2 year old also .

Life can suck sometimes ,there are times we feel used,un appreciated
unwanted but we all have life purpose ,
i am not going to lecture you .

I remember being 14 ,although I feel sad you have had such sad times in your life ,believe me sometimes you just have take some time and make yourself feel loved , try to if you can get involved in a sporting group ,
swimmimg or if you want email me all you need ,
marg 2511@bigpond.Net.Au

take it easy you are an important part of the world
:d :d

Sounds to me like youve had a pretty tough time and although you were very young when your parents left, i'd say its probably affected you more than you think. You said you have had your heart broken and no-one really knows the real you. It sounds to me as though you have abandonment issues and need to be loved and feel loved. You may not like yourself and thats why you change your personality to fit in with others and why you have eating problems and cut yourself.
I can relate to how you are feeling (with the self harm and eating disorders, ive had eating disorders since I was 17...I'm now 23).
The only way that you are going to get through this...Is be strong for yourself. When you suffer from depression and you are in so deep that you cant see yourself getting out of it, the only person who can truely help you, is you!
Posting on this forum is a good start to helping yourself. Beleive me, there is so much fun to have in life...So many things to see. You need to think about the people who have hurt you and say screw you!!!!!!!! I'm going to make somthing of myself....I'm going to see the world....And i'm going to live life to the full!!!!!!
As for changing your personality arround your friends to fit in...The great thing about having friends is that they all have different personalities and different opinions and thats what make you click, I think that if you act yourself people will get to know the real you and your friendships will become stronger.
Your depression will pass.....But you need to give yourself a kick up the backside and say...'hey i'm better than this....I'm going to go on nice vacations...Hang out with my mates...Get a good job...And so on..!'
you can be anything you want to to be.....But in the process...Always be yourself!

(i'm walking proof that this can be done!)

wishing you all the best! Xx

Hey ya I no ehat you mean I just have been threw soo much w/soo mny ppl and it is hard to find someone to trust any more...I think I am finally over w/the bulimia but I still have my moments:) I just wish I could go bak 10 yrs frm now and be someone new and I dont liek feeling liek that...I am really glad I can talk to ppl onn her it makes me feel sooo good about me...And I really do realize things and I think about more when ppl I dont no respond to me about things:) welll i'll w/b soon ok thanks again.....Kelsey

Well done with the bulimia, keep going...It is hard, but its amazing how different you feel when you start eating a healthy diet. (its not just in your head!) you feel brighter, more energy, rather than being sick...It makes you feel crappy doesnt it?!!!!!!!
Its so hard to get out of depression, alot of people dont understand it and get irritated by people feeling low for no apparent reason, but there underlying issues as to why it happens.
You will be fine, just keep your chin up anjoy your life now....Yeah its does sound like you have been through alot, but nows time to start living.

Best of luck! X

Hey ya I no I fell soo much better now that im eating healthy my mouth would hurt and teeth after id throw up:( but im liking not having to do it likeall the time...I think when I wasent eating I made my self want more and I duno I just I just thought about it and I was like I really need to stop!!So I made a comittment for lent that I was ganna eat good:) lol.....It is a holiday u do till easter:) sooo how have u been??I hope I will get out of feeling like caca alll the time I hate it :( ya I no like I have friends who will be like omg why the medical question r u like tjis why cant u just be happy and im liek omg I dont no so if u dont like it dont talk to me lol....Well I finally am talkign to her again..Lol and my other friend who is bulimic and sooo she understood me but we havent talked in like 3weeks sooo were ok now...I feel sooo bad for her she may be pg:( and sooo she really needed some one to talk to soo I was liek w.E lol welll ttyl ok...Keep me posted:)

~kelsey~!

I was so sad to read that a child as young as you can feel as low as us adults. Listen babes, take all that weight off your shoulders and throw it in the nearest bin. I was told very many years ago that we are in charge of our own happiness, that if we make a concerted effort every morning to feel happy, in time we will. Easier said than done, I know. I can tell you are a strong person, strong people look for help, the weak do not. Life deals out crap, but hey without the crap we would not be who we are today, and who you will be in years to come.

I find myself wanting to wrap my arms around you and tell you everything will be ok., but hey honey thats not going to happen, you have to tell yourself, every day tell yourself "today im going to be happy", please try, I mean really try. If the sun is shinning smile, if its cold, wrap up and go for a long walk and smile, tell yourself every day how wonderful you are. Because you are.

There are so many wonderful things in this world, I suggest something to you. You feel so bad at the moment, well then why not try and help others who feel as bad as you. Talking is the best medicine, helping even better. You have to help yourself, take it from me

Omg I felt soo good in what you said...God I just been like up then im down?? I really am trying to be happy but iyour right easier said than down!!! I just really am trying to look at the better of things thatn the worst!!!...And I should have to not be happy I should always be happy!!!! And I just sometimes look at me and im like eww...I mean look at how disgusting I am then other times I look at me and I <3 me??? I just dont get how I can be sooo good then be sooo not ok??Life can suck some times and life can be the greastest thing...Pll can just make u feel soooo low and worthe less.And ppl say im soo lucky that I am adopted but rlly I think it sucks....One u have these feelings about ur real family and now ur new and sometimes u just dont no how to controll them and u just loose it I loose it alll the time........And I dont want to feel like this any more!!!.......Grrrr......Well ttyl okbye..........
~kelsey~

Oooooohh keyword you just used god - answer to all things, well he was my answer and i'll trade anything in this world to see him. Also jesus, same person anyways but yeah. I wish I could give you a few words of encouragement but I can't except for umm...You're cool and stay cool and don't think negatively and try talking to cool christians. Holla