So, today I was diagnosed with post
partum depression...
My breast milk has like practicaly all
dried up, I can only express 4 feeds
within 24 hours.
So jay has gone to live with her dad and
nan for awhile, because I cant cope. I
miss her so much, I dont know what im
spossed to do, I just keep staring at her
crib, and thinking about her.
I can go see her when ever I like, but I
just feel like a bad mother.
When ever she would cry, I coulnt calm her
down, but as soon as I handed her to
someone else she would quieten. And now
my breast milk has practicaly gone, I feel
that I cant feed her propaly.
She has no clothes to wear, because she
kept being sick on them last night. And
I had no access to the washing machine to
wash any of them.
Am I a bad mother? For letting jay go of
to live with her dad and nan for awhile?
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-17-05 16:04pm
Aw sweetie.... You're not a bad mom,
actually you are oding what's best for
your little girl. Were you not getting
any help??? Why don't you go stay with
garry and his mum??? It's hard being a
mum, especially when you're young...
:hugs and kisses to you:
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KandyPants
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Feb 2005 Posts: 18 Location: Texas
You Are Not a Bad Mother. Posted: 02-17-05 16:10pm
Having ppd must be difficult. I think
you did the right thing letting your
daughter stay with her father. You need
to get treatment for ppd. If you aren't
able to cope with things and if you have
mood swings alot then you can't be the
best mom you can be. You know I always
hear people say that the best gift you can
give your child is to take care of
yourself. You need to be healthy so you
can be the best mom you can be. You are
not a bad mother. I'm sure everything
will turn out great! Good luck!
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Jays mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 80 Location: England
Posted: 02-17-05 16:15pm
Thanx lil. Garry said it will be better
for jay and for me if I didnt have to
worry about her for a little while, and
could get some decent sleep for once.
But she's only 15 days old... If I cant
cope after 15 days how am I going to cope
with 18 years?
No, I dont get any help at home. Actualyl
its worse than not getting any help.
Because not only do I have to put up with
the mess that me and jay make, and the
washing up and laundry and feeding.. I
have to put up with all my nans crap that
gets left around the house, and finish
off her half "started" tasks.
Not only that, I barely have time to feed
myself. And I expect her to at least make
dinner for me once a day, at least all
while im living here with her. But she
dosent, so I end up going without food,
which is probaly another reason why my
milk is drying up rather fast.
I cant go and stay with garry and his mum,
well I might be able to in 2 weeks, but
garrys mum is having problems with her
partner at the moment, and she's on the
verge of kicking him out, and I think he's
mentioned that he's leaving, but he's
takign his son with him. Which garrys
mum dosent realyl want. But she's wanted
to get rid of her partner for years, just
her guys kid hasnt been old enough for it
to be fair on him.
So me beign there aswell, I would just get
in the way.
My life seems so screwed to me right
now!
I soooo hope that I get given a house/flat
soon, because I know it will all be better
when its just me garry and jay.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 02-17-05 16:35pm
jays mommy
wrote:
thanx lil. Garry said it
will be better for jay and for me if I
didnt have to worry about her for a little
while, and could get some decent sleep for
once.
But she's only 15 days old... If I cant
cope after 15 days how am I going to cope
with 18 years?
No, I dont get any help at home.
Actualyl its worse than not getting any
help.
Because not only do I have to put up with
the mess that me and jay make, and the
washing up and laundry and feeding.. I
have to put up with all my nans crap that
gets left around the house, and finish
off her half "started" tasks.
Not only that, I barely have time to feed
myself. And I expect her to at least
make dinner for me once a day, at least
all while im living here with her. But
she dosent, so I end up going without
food, which is probaly another reason why
my milk is drying up rather fast.
I cant go and stay with garry and his mum,
well I might be able to in 2 weeks, but
garrys mum is having problems with her
partner at the moment, and she's on the
verge of kicking him out, and I think he's
mentioned that he's leaving, but he's
takign his son with him. Which garrys
mum dosent realyl want. But she's wanted
to get rid of her partner for years, just
her guys kid hasnt been old enough for it
to be fair on him.
So me beign there aswell, I would just get
in the way.
My life seems so screwed to me right
now!
I soooo hope that I get given a house/flat
soon, because I know it will all be better
when its just me garry and
jay.
we have places here in quebec called
clsc's that can offer help. I'm not too
sure what they have in the uk but find out
asap!!!!!! Get some help for
everything!!! Thing's will be fine i'm
sure of it.
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Jays mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 80 Location: England
Posted: 02-17-05 17:43pm
Im under social services in the uk. And
im getting all the outside help
available.
The only thing I can do is wait until im
offered a place, because emergancy
housing, I cant say no to a place that id
be offered, and the chances are they would
place me outside the area where im living
at the moment, which would be harder on me
because I need all the help that garrys
family can offer me right now.. Since my
family isnt much help.
I mean I know there are more than likley
people in a worse situation than me, but
its hard for me to say to myself that its
not all that bad, because I feel it is.
They have to house me legaly before jay is
3 months old, so only 2 and a half months
to wait out at the most.
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 02-17-05 19:01pm
Hey max. I'm so sorry you're going
through all that. I'm glad you're
getting help now. I am also suffering
with ppd and my daughter is 11 mos!!! I
just went to the doc for it. I know how
you're feeling. You're not a bad mother.
I was 'bad' not getting help for months
and just letting it get worse and worse.
I hope you can use this little break from
jay to get yourself back together. Take
care. You can always talk to me if you
want. *****big hugs*****
lana
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
online
Posted: 02-18-05 03:40am
I know post partum is a very serious thing
but hun honestly you need that bond with
her you need to be with her
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FISHX
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2004 Posts: 920 Location: UK
Posted: 02-18-05 03:53am
I agree that they need to bond but really
it would be better for jay to have her
mummy back healthy and stable. What jays
mummy has done is the most sensible thing
the bond can be acheived even if mummy and
jay live in seperate houses for the time
being just like baby's in scbu.
Jays mummy you are very brave and I hope
that you feel better soon
oh yes try getting in touch with your
local mp or newspaper they usualy help to
push the council and such good luck.
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SamiNSunisMa
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 1528
Posted: 02-18-05 04:02am
I think you are doing the right thing.
You are putting your child over you.
And as for bonding... Do you think you
could visit her, still?
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Jays mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 80 Location: England
Posted: 02-18-05 07:18am
Thankyou for all your positive replys.
They have made me feel suprisingly better
this morning.
Yes I can see jay when ever I want, what
ever time of day I like. (i have my own
key to garrys mums place)
im going to see her as soon as I get
dressed and see if I can find some
breakfast.
I just wish things wernt this hard. Why
does having a baby make you feel liek
this? I thought having a baby was
spossed to be the best thing in the world
for a mother.
To be able to look at the little person
that "you" created, and was living inside
you for nine months. Its the one miracle
that women actualy do.
So why am I so depressed? I have the most
beautiful baby girl that ive ever seen,
and she's mine, because I made her.
(obviously we dont forget that the fathers
little guys played a part in the creation
of babies)
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 02-18-05 08:21am
There are many, many reasons that a lot of
us have a little ppd. Hormones, lack of
sleep, body's still healing, there has
just been a major change in your life for
the rest of your life. And many more.
You will get through this. And you are
def doing the right thing. Jay will be
better off with a refreshed momma. Take
care girl.
