Hi, this is scary, I really don't know
what to say.
This is new to me and being that I find it
very diffcult to talk about my feelings, I
thought that this may be a way of telling
someone (anyone) exactly how I feel.
I find every day an uphill struggle.
Simple everyday tasks ie: getting out of
bed, eating, sleeping, are an effort. I
feel as though i'm carrying a black cloud
over me all the time.
Communicating with the outside world
scares the hell out of me and when I do I
just let people down. I'm sick and tired
of putting on a happy, smiley front for
people. Inside I feel so low, useless and
at times even suicidal.
I hope that by using this site, i'll be
able to talk about the things that swim
round and round in my mind. I've read
some of the other
messages that other members have sent in
and I think that maybe i'm making
something of nothing, but there isn't
anything that changes these feelings of
despair.
Please help! Keram
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gobby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2003 Posts: 5 Location: canada
Hey..... Posted: 11-03-03 09:45am
Hi there. I know exactly how you feel.
That wonderful smile you have to put on
for everyone but yourself. The tiredness
of it all. Just trying to get through
another day is enough, but to have to be
phoney about it too? Just know that this
is an illness of depression. Is it a
good thing to know that doctors and such
have made this a diagnosis called
depression? Or is it that it is just a
reality that no-one wants to face.
You have to fight this feeling that you
have. It takes a lot of energy to
realize that if you want to be a part of
this life and want to fit in with the
majority of people in this world you have
to like them and not say anything that may
come out wrong. I understand you that
you feel you always say something wrong.
It happens to me all of the time.
Look at it this way as I have. You are
truly :d an honest person. Not many of
them out there you know. You have not
said or did anything wrong. You may have
stepped on someones toes because they do
not like it, but you are true to yourself.
God has heard you and he loves you for
you - no matter what the flaws. People
for some reason does not. I am not a
religous freak or anything - don't get me
wrong. But when you feel that everything
is coming apart right in front of you -
well go to someone who understands you no
matter what. With that in mind you may
feel a little better about yourself. Not
everyone will like you, not everyone will
agree with you. Not everyone likes
honesty! Know that and carry on with
yourself. Be true to yourself - because
when the going gets really tough - all you
have is yourself!!!!
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phil dennison
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 71 Location: illinois
Fast Stress Relief Posted: 11-17-03 17:46pm
The answer is to talk to god. The purpose
of life is to give to people. Stop
thinking of yourself. Join a church, it's
just that simple.
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phil dennison
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 71 Location: illinois
Fast Stress Relief Posted: 11-17-03 17:47pm
The answer is to talk to god. The purpose
of life is to give to people. Stop
thinking of yourself. Join a church, it's
just that simple.
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1473 Location: Canada
I Know What U Mean.. Posted: 11-20-03 01:00am
Hey well I am 16 years old I go to
highschool..I know how you feel..I have
been despressed for about 2 and a half
years now..At the moment I am on
wulbrutiin I have been on 3 other kinds.
Some morings I am toally fine and happy
but other days I am in a health forum mood
and just dont want to do anything I feel
tired all the time..
And to that phil person god isnt for
eveybody..So please dont tell people to go
to god cuz some people dont belive in him
ok? Thanx
alison
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phil dennison
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 71 Location: illinois
Kitty Posted: 11-20-03 11:36am
Kitty-god is for everybody, talk to god,
say god I am depressed I don't believe in
you, save me, and I will believe in you,
and pass this wonderful experince on.
Kitty I once was no different then you.
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KittyKat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 39
Posted: 11-20-03 16:48pm
Keram:
i have spent much of my life trying to
make others happy. People would have
described me as "the happiest person" they
know. I was really good at covering up
all the bad things I felt inside. I
finally realized I needed help. There
was a recent event in my life that made me
so depressed that I decided to get help.
I just couldn't go another day feeling
that aweful pain inside. I felt so
helpless & hopeless! I am now in
therapy working on building my self esteem
and loving myself. I have spent so many
years wanting the approval of everyone
that I never learned to give myself
approval. I also decided to take the
medication recommended by the Dr. (even
though I was against it). I thought that
depression was a sign of weakness and that
I could work through these problems, but
it's not. Maybe you could seek
professional help. Don't be scared or
feel silly, it could really help. Good
luck
