Hi all i'm in desperate need of your help!
Ok, here goes I am a young 22 year old
christian girl, very involved in my
church. I am very sweet, beautiful, kind,
caring just a very good girl! I have my
whole life in front of me ive been
accepted into university planning on
becoming a teacher :)
i am very admired, im very happy I love
life I love to smile and so nice and
friendly I make others happy! Ok here is
my problem, almost 2 months ago this guy
that I know who lives in ontario was
visiting my city for the holidays. Well
the last time I had talked to him was 2
months b4 that and I jokingly called him a
playa because he said he was going to be
seeing someone there and he had been
telling me on the phone he cared for me,
so he started swearing at me and I thought
whoa this guy does not deserve my
friendship! What an a**hole seriously.
We had been together in august when he was
here which was part of his manipulation.
Anyways I have found out what a huge
monster he is, he is all lies hes much
older then me which I just found out too.
He is supposed to be a youth minister, but
I found out hes a liar and will sleep with
anyone :( so he told me he will be seeing
someone that was also going to be a police
officer there. A week later we hear he
knows a woman that found out she was
pregnant and at first they were going to
keep the baby, but then she decided to not
keep it. My first instinct was it was
involving him, even tho he never brought
this up to me, I just knew. I talked with
him on the phone and he sounded so upset
and depressed. Then a week later and
thats when he started to lose it and swear
at me. So I see him when he is here at
the holidays I was working at the mall and
this is the first time I talked to him
since then. My first impression was whoa
he looked way different! He is fillipino
so his skin is naturally dark, well it
looked light and he looked way older, I
noticed he had reddish rashes on his face.
He started winking at me and I just said
hi and I was really busy so I had to work.
Over the next few days I noticed his
number on my phone and I never bothered to
call him back. I did talk with him once
when he called and hes like you should
come over now...And I said no, maybe we
can go for coffee sometime. And that was
that. Well unfortunately on the night of
dec 29th, my friend who is friends with
him calls and is like she wants to call
him. I had hardly anything to say to him,
and then he said to my friend, tell your
friend she should hang out with me later.
He was going back that night and hes like
I wont see you for another year. I said
well, maybe for a few mins. He comes by
my house and I get in his truck, ( we've
gone for a drive before without anything
happening ) and he starts driving and I
asked where are we going and he said that
he cant leave the truck running. He
starts heading in the direction of his
parents house and I said no I dont want to
go. We are in front and he wants to go
inside, but I said no lets just talk here.
Hes very manipulative and he said we'll
talk inside. I never knew what kind of
danger lied ahead. We went inside and
immidiately he starts trying to kiss me
and I kept turning my cheek to him and I
said no your my friend. I saw the tv and
I said lets watch tv! Lets talk lets just
hang out! He said no we cant and we have
to go where its quiet. He lead me past
his parent room and into a room. He
started trying things and I kept telling
him no! Lets just talk! Hes just my
friend, im being good and im waiting for
my husband! I really didnt want him to be
doing that stuff so I kept pushing him
away when he grabbed at everything. I
just kept trying to talk to him. Well he
started getting mad started swearing got
up and said he is going to start the car.
But he came back in 2 secs later and that
is when I got the most terrifying feeling
in my life! Ive never felt that scared in
my life, it was like he was going to kill
me. I didnt understand because I thought
I was in the presence of a friend. I will
regret not acting on that for the rest of
my life. I should have left immidiately
at that moment, how many ppl get that kind
of a warning. It would have saved my
life. He sits back down and continues to
manipulate saying I dont care about him
blah blah and he wants to make love to me.
I said no im waiting for my husband. The
whole time I was there was probablly an
hour of this without anything happening,
it was pretty clear I wanted absolutely
nothing go happen! I kept telling him to
stop! He is very controlling and
manipulative, and he got quite agressive.
He said his neck was sore, and wanted me
to touch it and I noticed it was extremely
bumpy. His stomach was also making all
these bad sounds, he had the worst taste
in his mouth when he foced a kiss on me,
he had this large dry thing on the inside
of his arm and I noticed also he had a lot
of dry skin. I noticed a lot of really
bad things about him and got really bad
feelings and everything just felt really
evil. He shoved his hand in my face at
one point, and well he took off my pants
he went inside me without foreplay, just
did it even tho I didnt want him to. He
started manipulating and I asked so what
happened to him and his gf and he said
that they arent together because he likes
me which is bs because last time I had
talked to him he said he is going to be
with her and focus on his career. I see
now he is the biggest liar in this world,
and anything he said to me on the phone
was all lies he was just toying with me.
I know he was wearing a condom at first I
could tell. But at one point he stopped
and I asked what he was doing I was really
scared, and he was doing something to
himself. I got the feeling he took off
his condom and started thrusting again and
I believe he ejaculated inside without
telling me. He then said I was his
prisoner and did it again and really
started hurting me. I believe he
ejaculated in me both times. And I asked
him if he had taken it off and he said
when? He is a really big liar. And I
noticed there was a lot of stuff near my
vagina and it wasnt from me because I
didnt orgasm. I had really bad feelings.
The next night I started feeling really
sick like I was going to throw up, and
then it just got worse over the next few
days all the symptoms and I really felt
like I was going to die. Night sweats,
fevers, bumpy neck, fatigue, everything.
My whole body feels like its being
destroyed and im decaying. My face has
changed I feel like im dying. I can
hardly do anything and my brain feels
damaged and my personality has changed. I
am no longer that beautiful happy cheerful
smiling girl, I think he has destroyed me,
and on purpose. Like I said before I was
with him in august and he was fine then,
so I see everything now and im like omg I
saw all these things wrong with him but
nothing could ever say that he had hiv and
that he was going to try and give me it!
I called him asking whats happening to me,
and he said he hopes I can forgive him and
that whatever it is is something he had im
just getting stronger and to drink lots of
gatorade! I said I felt like he
contaminated me and he said he knows he
understands. Omg what an a**hole! I got
a test after a month, but was encouraged
to test again in april. It doesnt look
good, my whole throat looks destroyed I
look bad, feel really bad cant sleep good,
everything is going wrong! This a**hole
has ruined my life, and its someone that I
thought I knew, that pressured me to have
sex with him so he could give this to me!
I dont know what im going to do.. My life
was so beautiful before he did this! I
see everything now, he said on the phone
is he not allowed to get stupidly drunk?
I believe that he did that in nov,
probably after his gf got an abortion
which he denies, and he never even told me
about his gf! He admitted on the phone
that im not going to like what he has to
say, that he sleeps a lot and has trouble
concentrating and thinking. He also is
coughing bad on the phone saying that it
started in january, but I have proof from
someone that knows him that it started in
november along with physical changes like
the whiteness in his face and rashes. Omg
I see everything I just never knew he was
this much of an a**hole and would set to
kill me just because his life is over and
wants to bring an innocent girl with him
:( now he went back to ontario and I think
im dying :( and he set the whole thing up!
He is a huge a**hole I think the biggest
on the planet, I never ever saw this. If
my friend never called this would never
have happened! And worse part is shes
friends with him so a lot of times I feel
like she defends him :( please anyone have
any guidance? I am only 22 years old, I
feel like my life ended that night :( I
think hes like 30 or something and
supposed to be a youth leader! I live in
a small city, I just want my life back the
way it was! I cant live like this
everyday, knowing that he knew he was sick
and did this to me on purpose! :( I can
hardly do anything, I dont look beautiful
anymore and I had to stop working after he
did this to me. I wish I had never agreed
to talk to him, and even more wish I at
least would have listened to my gut
instincts! Nothing could tell me tho that
one night would ruin the rest of my life,
I fear I may also be pregnant.. I have
the rest of my life , university , getting
married & have a family! I cant deal
with this, I am very beautiful and sweet,
one of the nicest and sweetest most kind
girls you will ever meet. Everyone loves
me and yes I have a lot of admirers, he
set out to destroy me! He made a stupid
mistake in ontario and came here and just
wanted to take my life just because!
Before this happened I was going to start
reading at mass, and im very involved in
church, I cant believe this hes supposed
to be a christian and a friend, I was
manipulated tricked and decieved! Please
help im living a nightmare I cant wake up
from :(
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 02-21-05 20:30pm
How horrible this must be for you! You
need to talk to the police and someone in
your church and your Dr., what he did to
you was very wrong and he will do it to
others until he is stopped. The fool has
some very bad issues. Your friend does
not sound like much of a friend if he/she
is not willing to help you.
Sincerely,
sandy
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 02-21-05 22:16pm
Hi thanks for replying so quick. Yeah
there are no words to even begin to
describe what a huge creep he is. I never
knew he was such a liar either, and when
im talking to him on the phone telling me
all of this stuff admitting his guilt etc,
I feel like im going to absolutely lose
it. How can someone be so evil? I dont
know why someone would set out to destroy
another persons life. He does have major
issues that I now see, I dont want to lose
my life because of him :( I feel like I
have been murdered. Like he took my life
that night. If it does turn out to be
hiv, I dont know what I will do. I am
completely innocent, he pressured and took
advantage of me im afraid so he could give
me a disease. Its so hard on me and my
family, I am so close with my mom. Its
heartbreaking, im suffering tremendously
and I keep replaying this over and over
wanting to go back to that night and get
out of there! I dont want this to be
happening, I really am one of the
sweetest, nicest happiest ppl you could
ever meet. I would do anything for
anyone. Things like this shouldnt happen
to good people. Nobody deserves it, but
to purposely give it to another person is
unthinkable. I feel like I cant really
function like I used to I used to work out
5 times a week, was being chaste for my
husband and I go to church. Unfortunately
there is evil in this world and I find out
now will appear in ppl that you will not
suspect. I never saw this night coming in
a million years. I am a very trusting
person, I thought he was a friend never
ever saw this evil plan of his. The worst
part is that I picked up on all of these
things, all of those things I noticed
about him I thought were really strange.
And the feeling like he was going to kill
me when he came back in the room, ive
never had that feeling in my whole life!
But thats the whole deception, its because
I thought he was a friend. If I got that
feeling and he was a stranger then yes of
course I would run in a second. I hate it
that that whole time he was knowing what
he was going to do to me, I had bad
feelings but because I am trusting second
guessed it. I cant believe he did this I
wish I wish I got out of there! I dont
know what I will do :( he deserves to be
locked up, any idea how to prove this is
intentional? And I live at home, if he
did infect me what should I do about my
family? Will they be safe? I am so
worried! I dont wan to die :( I didnt do
anything wrong. It is a tragic thing to
contract this sort of disease, but just
imagine how much more horrible if someone
planned to give it to you :( ppl get it
because they dont know they have it and
have unprotected sex a lot of times often
with people they dont know. This guy I do
know, unfortunately didnt know he was this
much of an a**hole, and pressured and
manipulated into it after telling him no a
million times and he tricked and decieved
by pretending to use a condom and
ejaculating inside :( it sounds like
homicide I dont want this to be happening
I just want to wake up.. I want to go to
the cops but I dont know how you can prove
all of this, he is just going to deny
everything because he is a huge liar.
He is a huge sicko, get this he even had
been training to be a cop he supposedly
had an interview the beginning of dec
before he came here and when I was at his
house I asked if he got in and he said hes
not sure it can take a year to find out.
But my friend found out through his bro
that he told him on the psychology part he
didnt pass because his answers were too
slow. Im so upset.. Ppl like him just
shouldnt even exist :(
|
steen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 1797 Location: Upper Midwest
Posted: 02-22-05 18:20pm
What you just described was rape. You
need to go to the police.
Hi laura,
i am reading your post for the first time
and I really do feel your pain, nothing
like this has ever hapen to me and really
I am not sure if I would want to live
after such a horrible experience.What you
should really do is report this to the law
and have that creep put in jail for rape
and homicide.
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 03-15-05 21:47pm
Does anyone know if he does infact have
hiv, and he knew it and purposely
ejaculated in me 2 times without my
knowledge, does that put me even in more
grave danger? Like would it make it even
stronger and I would get it more quicker
and have less time I would live? This is
so scary :( omg I have felt trapped in my
own body for 3 months now.. I see what he
meant when he said he was going to make me
a prisoner :( I feel so mad, especially
because it would be intentional, and I
noticed all the things wrong with him even
before anything happened :( and I had a
really bad feeling when he came back in
the room, I will never forget that ive
never experienced that in my life. And I
should have paid attention to it,
especially because I have been around him
before, so im getting a bad feeling like
huge inside like this huge fear I had to
back away, I really thought he had a
knife... Thats the kind of feeling. I am
regretting this every single day :( I am
so smart, and I knew something wasnt right
and I felt in danger, but instead of
taking the facts which were in front of me
and my bad feelings which were warnings I
believe from god, I trusted he was my
friend. He was really there to homicide
me. I see now he might as well had a
knife with him, and thats exactly the
scary feeling I got :( he knew he could
get away with this because he knows me and
knows I am so sweet and nice and trusting,
he knows I thought he was afriend. He is
the biggest problem in the world. And
just basically admitting it on the phone,
I cant believe it. When I got the results
after a month, she said im wasting
precious time, I keep trying to go back,
and if only I could have gotten out. I
dont want to die im only 22 years old just
starting my life :( I go to church, im
about to start university this is just
pure evil :( I mean it just doesnt happen
to ppl like me it cant.. This guy I
believe is 32, hes just an problem that
wants to kill someone just because. I
didnt even want to see him, I dont want my
life to end because of him I cant live
with that, hes just such a bad person, has
treated me so bad in the past, I knew I
didnt want to talk with him thats why I
didnt for over 2 months but he came here
over christmas unfortunately. A guy that
treated me so bad that I really hate and
he came to kill me, I just dont know how
to handle that, playing on that little bit
of trust he knew I would have. I love my
family so much, I love my life and was so
happy god had me here for a special
purpose and I was doing so much good, he
is so evil :( im so scared, plus I have a
feeling hes going to be coming back here
and just raising more havoc. I feel like
he hinted the whole enire night im so mad
at myself. I saw all his symptoms that
were weird, especially his stomach which
sounded really destructive, which mine did
after he did this to me. His neck glands
were all swollen :( disgusting taste in
his mouth :( he said how his neck was so
sore, his hair was funny, his big think on
his arm and dry skin, he said he wasnt
working and I asked why and he didnt
answer. Him telling me after how things
seem like slow motion,, he was hinting.
There are no words for this fool . Omg I
dont know how to go on really, I really
was so beautiful, so sweet and happy im
sure I would have had the most amazing
husband and the most beautiful angel
kids.. And my career. Im so mad and I
didnt even like him before this happened
:( I live in a small city, I dont think
theres anyone with hiv here, and I am a
young beautiful girl, oh I hate him so
much :( plus my family, what is everyone
going to think? Ppl are not going to
treat me the same, and if I do have it and
I have to spend as much time with them as
possible they are going to not like me
because of that even tho an problem
purposely gave it to me when I didnt want
to have sex with him. And just shame and
stigma that go with that, and even in
death ppl would just be like that person
died of aids.. Thats how you will be
remembered. This is too much of a
nightmare I wish I never talked to him in
my life and I wish I was not nice to him
that night and said I would talk to him :(
|
dear7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 12 Location: Africa
Laura Deal With the Issue- Not the Man Posted: 03-16-05 03:08am
Laura
am 25, and I can imagine what you feel.
I feel sympathy toward the sort of
experience you went through.
Am facing an anxiety prblem just like you
but my advice to you, is stop questioning
why you ever spoke to him, or why you had
to lisetn to your friend.
The issue is now bigger than that. If you
would like to consider the law given that
it was rape, please go ahead. Otherwise
he will continue to do this to many other
unsuspecting people.
However if you feel too humiliated enough
you cant speak out especially to
authorities, its understandable. First
deal with how you feel
its alright to feel angry, but the real
situation that should be your centrality
now is going past this anxiety.
How long is it since this encounter.
Prepare to have another test, for stds and
hiv and takesome counselling. Centering
your thoughts on why you even spoke to him
in the first place only serves to make
worse your situation and will drive you
more nuts.
Keep praying to have more strength and
keep him as much as you can out of the
centrality of your thoughts. It has
alraedy happened, you cannot reverse it so
deal with the situation.
If it does turn out you contracted any
sort of virus, that will be absurd. Hiv
can change your life especially at the gae
of 22. You have far too many hopes and
dreams in yourself, but it can not change
the way you live as along as you try to
take care of yourself.
I will pray for you as well. Am in a
similair situation. I had oral sex and
also kissed an infected person and anxiety
of whether I may have contracted the virus
is stressing me but am tying to deal with
my thoughts and not questioning why I did
it because it does solve much. I would
like the relief that I am not infected.
God bless
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 03-19-05 18:32pm
:( I am so sad I dont know what to do..Im
taking him to court for sure but still its
my life and im only 22 I havent even lived
yet. I am regretting not going to
university for january and just even that
I said I would see him that night. I
should have realized it was too late, I
told him that, but I didnt know he was
going to drive straight to his parents
house. He talked me into it because he
said he was leaving that night and not be
back for a long time. Im mad at myself, I
didnt even like this jerk before this
happened, for good reason swearing at me I
knew I didnt want to talk with him again.
I cant deal with a jerk like him possibly
ending my beautiful happy life this is
really insane. I still say if my friend
didnt call him this would never have
happened! It is so true I would not have
talked to him at all while he was here. I
hate that he knew I would be an easy
target because he knows me and he knows I
am so sweet and kind and trusting, and
would never suspect he was out to hurt me.
I am regretting getting into his truck
because he started driving and I got weird
feelings even then, and he put his hand on
my knee briefly. That was a bad signal
right there.. And I asked where we were
going. I can see everything now, but
nothing in the world was going to tell me
ok he is going to take advantage of me and
make me have sex and possibly give me an
hiv infection, this was a week after I had
seen him at the mall looking all different
so that wasnt very fresh in my mind. Also
it was really late and I had little sleep
from 2 days work I just thought it would
be a few mins of chatting but I was so
wrong. I told him I didnt want to go to
his parents house but he went anyways. A
friend would have respected me and said ok
and maybe went coffee or something. I
believe he had homicide on his mind and
thats frightening. I dont even like
seeing ppl anymore because I look so
different not very beautiful like I was ,
such a pretty angel. I would not be
surprised if he called my friend and told
her to call me, you know one last shot at
getting a hold of me since he failed like
5 times while he was here. I should
never have got in his truck, and let him
control the situation and go straight to
his house. I told him I didnt want to go
inside, but he manipulated. This is too
much of a nightmare :( god tried to warn
me countless times im afraid, the feeling
he was going to kill me like he had a
knife, all of the clear hiv symptoms he
had that I was aware of, him treating me
terribly, but I still remained in the room
not aware of what was going to happen.
Being in that room was the biggest
mistake, it gave him control and let him
do this to me. If I had at least remained
in the vehicle then he would not been able
to do this to me, but again I thought this
was a friend and he said we would just be
talking inside. And he knew I had a bit
of trust in him since he has manipulted me
in the past telling me once that he wishes
I would fall in love with him. He really
is the hugest problem in the world. I
never thought anything of him, there is
someone so special and means the world to
me that I was planning on marrying that I
met at a church retreat 2 summers ago. He
is the one I was thinking of when I said
im waiting for my husband. He is in
college in the states and I spoke with him
and it breaks my heart because he even
talks about getting married, and look what
has happened to me. I cant deal with the
fact I think im dying because of this jerk
who wouldnt take no for an answer so he
could possibly infect me and then torment
me on the phone about it afterwards. I
know this sounds terribly depressing,
because it really is. Nobody should get
this on purpose it is pure evil. I have
plans for university and becoming a
teacher and marrying my sweetheart one day
and going back to the retreat this summer.
All of my dreams seem to be taken from
me. And I was about to read at mass. I
have never heard of this or saw this
coming in a million years. Omg I wish I
never saw him that night! :( then he
could take his scumbag ass back to ontario
and die because of his own stupid mistake
and not take my life! :(
this is the total opposite of who I am,
before this happened I was always happy
and smiling and laughing and so outgoing.
Now I feel all alone like no one wants
anything to do with me. If anything I am
going to prosecute the heck out of him,
but I still have to suffer it just isnt
fair. I remember when I was in the room
after he used a condom, after over an hour
of me telling him no and stop and I dont
want to, I got this really strong urge I
had to use the washroom like really bad.
That was another warning to me I see now
because this was before he was about to
violate me again except without the condom
that I was of course not aware of. God
really really was trying to warn me. I
remember saying I had to use the washroom
really bad and he said no im not done with
you your my prisoner and he violated me.
That was a warning even if I had got away
from him at that point I would be ok today
because the first time he had a condom on.
Im sure going through his mind at that
moment he realized god was trying to stop
him. Im happy I have my faith at least, I
still attend mass but I cry an awful lot
because I have so much love and devotion
for god, and im so sad because I feel like
I let him down and ignored or didnt listen
to his warnings. All because I thought he
was a friend, but was the enemy. He
thinks I was completely fooled and had no
idea of what he was doing, but I did and
im so stupid for not following my gut
instincts and warnings because I fear it
has cost me my life. I feel so bad, I
even had warnings before this happened to
me. I had a nightmare and I was paranoid
of hiv even before this incident :( I
remember just feeling like im happy im
waiting for my husband, but a week before
this happened I had food poisoning and got
a throat infection like a little white dot
near my tonsils and I started getting
really paranoid scared what if I have it?
And even visited the health center asking
them does it look like it? Of course it
wasnt but there was another warning of
what was coming my way. I just never knew
that a guy that told me every weekend on
the phone that he cares about me was out
to homicide me. :( you see why I feel so
guilty that this has all happened to me.
I had way to many warning signs, I dont
want to live like this. I loved my life
so much, was always so happy. I knew
there was a reason why I wasnt to see him
while he was here. I know that god saw
what was happening and wanted to warn me
that I got in the trap. I am feeling so
bad nothing can give me my life back. I
remember him manipulating me saying things
like he wants things the way they were
before ( hinting about himself ). He
knows about my sweetheart that I wanted to
marry, he was out to destroy that he
doesnt want me to be happy. I hate him so
much :( im scared im pregnant.. I went to
the hospital after this happened but the
doctor was kind of an fool and didnt give
me the morning after pil that would have
been much better. I live in a small city
in canada, this doesnt happen. I dont
want to be remembered dying young of aids
or something what a shame in my family
even tho it would be intentional thats
horrible. I keep thinking about it
wishing I never went in I cant get over
this. Dear I will pray for you too, I
really hope you didnt contract it. This
is really devestating, I was going to go
off to school and make tons of friends.
And its a catholic university I was going
to get so involved in ministry. How often
do you hear about something so bad
happening on purpose to someone so good?
God bless
|
dear7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 12 Location: Africa
Stop Beating Yourself Posted: 03-20-05 16:40pm
Laura,
i hate to feel what you are going through.
Its terrible that you feel your entire
youth as been snatched from under your
wing.
Howver like I said earlier, if you choose
to take legal action against this man, be
sure you have enough evidence considering
that you did not see a doctor immediately
after you were abused by him sexually.
Two: it happened, its a sorry situation-
but try to pick yourself up and move.
Regreting your decision to talk to him is
surly making you feel worse and cannot be
of productive use to your health and
mental wellbeing.
Try to get him out of your mind and
refocus on what you may do, or how you
plan to live.
If you take a test and it turns out you
picked an std or hiv from him, it will
sure be a sad moment because hiv will
certainly change your life- but again like
I mentioned earlier, it doesnt have to
change the way you live.
You have to proceed, if tested positive to
find out your cd count and know how your
body will raect to the virus, then proceed
to find out the type of treatment you will
need for your body.
I am in constant contact with people
living with hiv/aids many of whom are
workmates, friends, relatives, I have lost
close people to the pandemic and I know
that if you try to eliminate stress out of
your system, you can live with the virus,
looking healthy, if you are committed to
taking medication, for more than 25 years.
I guarantee that to you. More than 25
five years with the hiv and still looking
healthy, going about your life, and
working at living psotively s possible.
Hiv is no longer the end of the world,
neither is it the end of dream and hopes.
I agree that it puts a halt to your
numerous palns and dreams but when you
have it- you have to deal with it and
continue to live! Its a choice that few
take, but quite a better choice, to deal
with it.
I fully understand that its difficult
forgettin about the experience and what
you could have done to avert it- but the
fact laura is that you did not avert it-
so stop beating yourself to it- it wont
change much.
Find out what your health is by taking a
test and another, to three times to be
sure of wher you stand and begin to
live.
My situation is much worse in terms of
guilt because I had oral sex and also
kissed two different people who I knew had
hiv. The one had oral sex with, I dint
know but sooner than later found out and
the two I kissed, I knew they had hiv but
went ahead and kissed then. I should be
beating myself because I wonder how it
will feel if I get to test and I have hiv
without having sex with these people but
through kissing or through oral sex.
However am trying to deal with the guilt
by not concentrating on it but working on
my mental health.
Keep me posted and good luck!
|
Hopehealth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Apr 2005 Posts: 9
Posted: 04-05-05 12:54pm
Laura report thisto the police this guy is
a real jerk. I hate men that are like
that! I am a 22 male and that to me is
rape. If you need any guidance or
someone to talk to I am sure all these
people who have responded to you are more
then willing to help.
God bless
my prayers are with you
|
-themom-
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Apr 2005 Posts: 2 Location: not for public
Laura - from what I read you were sexually
assaulted and you need to seek help.
This man could be deliberly trying to
infect people and that is 1st degree
homicide. Go to the police, seek help -
don't let this happen to someone else.
It is horrible that we live in a world
like this but - one person can make a
difference. I know you will be scared
but think of the person after you and give
them a chance. I hope you will listen -
I know of what I speak. When I was in
school, I had a friend who became my enemy
because I did not speak up. I was being
molested by my father - because I did not
speak up, he got her too and she continued
to seek revenge on me for not doing
anything. What happened was not my fault
but not making sure he was punished was.
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 04-07-05 09:58am
Thanks guys for all your help. I am in
the process of an investigation with the
police, but I mean the chances of him
being found guilty of rape are probably
not that good, it is of course my word
against his. But I know because I was
there and I am very upset of course that
he did this to me, but also at myself for
ever talking to him in my whole life. He
posed as a christian, and a friend in the
past but he was never my friend. I knew
in the fall that he was really mean and
had issues thats why I stopped talking to
him. And avoided him the whole time he
was here, didnt answer his calls and
turned him down the only time he got a
hold of me. I am way too nice, and
unfortunately he knows that about me. And
then he used my best friend to get to me
knowing I wouldnt feel like I would be in
danger if I talked to him, I did tell him
it was late. I really really wish I wasnt
nice and said just f off and go home. But
unfortunately what happened happened. He
just is so manipulating, like he pushed me
the whole time as soon as I got in the
truck and I shouldnt have, but I have hung
out with him before in my past and at that
point I just trusted like any other
friend. I did not realize of course what
he had in mind to do I just get mad
because he knows if he said go over I
would say no like I already did that week.
I am upset of course with what he did,
and how I may have something so terrible,
but im upset that I let it get that far by
not stopping it. But of course I trusted
just like any friend, especially because
my friend is such good friends with him,
she was fooled by him too and
unfortunately set me out with this woman
hating a**hole. I really feel stupid
about the whole thing because I wasnt
talking to him before, knew he was a jerk,
avoided him when he showed up in my city,
turned him down, and then the last minute
he tricked me through my friend. I really
dont know what I was thinking. My brother
has always been protective of me and hes
like you shouldnt have gone out that time
of night, I said I know because I didnt
even want to see him I didnt care that he
was here. So I wish that I did not put
myself in that position. It happened I
cant reverse it but I really dont like the
way things are right now. It is a total
nightmare I really dont want to have hiv
because of an problem that set out to
homicide me. I really didnt see that
coming at all like I see I was in there
way too long but I thought hes a friend I
really didnt see he was out to really hurt
me while being there in the room. I hate
that this all happened, instead of going
on the facts while I was in there, all the
weird symptoms he had, and the danger I
felt and like he had a knife when he came
in, I kind of went on more like he could
never hurt me type of thing.
I just feel like I let him destroy my
life. It of course was not my fault, but
I just see where I could have saved
myself. I did all the right things, I was
just in the wrong place. If I could only
go back. I was in there telling him no
stop and lets talk I thought hes a friend
and im waiting for myhusband for the
longest time like an hour and a half
maybe. And then it just happened so fast,
there was nothing nice about it. I didnt
want to and I told him the whole time I
was there but nothing was going to stop
him. I was so tired too by this time it
was 3am and I had worked like 2days with
hardly any sleep. So my mistake was of
course to say I would talk with him and
that was just being way too nicei really
dont know why I said I would I knew I
didnt even want to see him :( :( and that
I didnt like him.
Now to make things worse, I am pressing
charges against him, well I confided in a
priest that knows him, and I think the
priest doesnt think he should be working
with the youth anymore ( which he was only
doing once a week ) so I think they let
him go ( for good reason ) and he didnt
like that so apparently has hired a lawyer
to go against me and I have recieved a few
phone calls and just yesterday an email
from the lawyer stating that he has the
right to sue me for telling his employer
something that is not true. First, a
priest is not an employer, I was confiding
as I am a catholic, and what he doest from
there is beyond my control. I was
concerned for my health, so I asked if
they noticed physical changes before he
came here and they said yes. So he is
lying a lot to his lawyer of course, and
the letter says that he intends to sue me
for slander and that he intends to claim
damages. I dont think anyone could be
anymore messed up or psychotic. He really
really is. Its like ok he raped me, might
have killed me and it would be on purpose
obviously, (and im only 22 :( and now hes
going to sue me for speaking out about an
act of violence against me? Major psycho.
I think in the email it said I have to
withdraw an investigation I am already in.
This loser has police training I think
his course ended in the summer, but I dont
think he passed because his interview with
them was dec 3rd and I heard through his
brother that his answers were to slow. So
he knows all about laws, and how to set
someone up really bad probably. And I
think he recoreded a lot of stuff that was
said. Omg I dont think anyone could be in
a worse off situation right now. If only
I had listened to myself at that moment, I
just remember all the feelings I had I
felt in like so much danger and I know now
I can do nothing about it. I just never
saw this that he would purposely hurt me,
because he used a condom at first and then
didnt :( and I noticed stuff and he said
it was mine. And when I got really sick
over the next few days he was all prepared
and ready, and basically admitting what he
did to me. Hes really sick :( god tried
to save me from all of this mess, he was
with me giving me that extreme fear and
like he was going to kill me with a knife,
but of course it would go away and I didnt
act quickly enough on it :( thank you
everyone and god bless you too
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 04-09-05 20:07pm
And another thing I feel really guilty
about, god was truly warning me even
before. I wasnt with anyone since the
summer but I remember like 2 weeks before
this was coming, I started feeling sick
and I got food poisoning and I went to the
doctor and he said I got a little throat
infection and I said is that all it is
like I was really freaking out. I knew
everything was ok, but I know god was
making me really scared and paranoid for a
reason. I had been at work feeling sick
and it would start to worry me but I knew
I was fine I just got extremely paranoid
and I got really paranoid about hiv before
this happened. I knew I was fine I would
just get really scared and I know that was
from god and he was warning me about what
was coming my way. I visited with my
health center and she laughed at me
because I was so paranoid and we talked
and I said im waiting for my husband, the
last time iwas with someone was like 7
mnths before that. I said any time I
would get a flu or something it would make
me paranoid and I said its not worth it
even tho I did not have sex with someone
it still made me really scared thinking
like do I have it? This was like maybe 12
days before this guy came to town! God
was really really trying to warn me. And
I really was waiting I told that to him ,
he just knew its going to be tough because
this is someone I know, that I first
talked to at a church conference 7 yrs ago
but really only started talking to on the
phone 2 years ago. He pretended to be a
christian and a friend in the past, so I
believe god was really trying to prepare
me. He gave me all the warnings and
everything! This is why I am going crazy,
because even tho this guy was out to
seriously harm me, #1 I had stopped
talking to him, avoided him, rejected him
already when he got a hold of me told him
I didnt want to see him. I was still
being warned, and I picked up on all the
scary feelings and warning signs, I got so
scared and everything but he pushed me the
whole night from the moment I talked to
him. So I feel I was warned before and
while I was there. Its really upsetting
because my friend that called, I even told
her why, I dont want to talk to him :( so
I wish I had hung up the phone, and not
have let him manipulate me into talking to
him because he would go back home. I made
the absolute worse decision of my life,
tho not my fault because I was so
decieved, I could have saved my own life
if I did not trust him, the one that was
out to hurt me :(
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 04-11-05 13:00pm
Just got the test done.. I have to wait
about 2 weeks for the results, but I fear
I already know. :( this is a total
nightmare, and he is a total scumbag. A
whole 2 mins of something I didnt want
that at first was protected and then he
tricked me and was not protected , may
have cost me my entire life at 22.
Its a pretty bad dream, when my life
seemed almost perfect before, I was so
happy :) just the happiest ive been so far
in my life, I havent even lived yet. But
god blessed me beyond words, I couldnt ask
for anything more. The most loving
family, he had everything for my future :)
hes opened up so many things for me and
provided so much. I love who he made me
to be, hes given me so much and I was
doing so much good for him. And I really
wanted to continue that. Me and my mom
have the perfect mother - daughter
relationship we are so close :) I really
really dont want to let everyone down my
moms precious beautiful daughter - hiv +
at 22 :( true it would be on purpose which
is homicide I cannot help but feel guilty
for ever talking to the lowlife. I could
have saved myself and its driving me
crazy, I almost feel like I let myself be
killed. I didnt want to be with him he
knew that, I just wish everyday that I
kicked him and ran the heck out of there.
That is his mistake for being stupid and
getting drunk and sleeping with someone
from a bar, I have just found out hes
really sleazy and while he lives in
ontario he will try and do anything that
moves - put it by someone that I know. :(
I just feel like nobody else would have
made such a stupid mistake in my
situation. But then again could have.
Trusting they are not there to hurt you,
instead of the symptoms, and all the scary
feelings I got. Like hello ive been
around him before in my life and never got
this intense fears inside. :( it shows me
god really is always with us and just like
god exists, so does evil and hes the #1
example. I miss everything about my
beautiful life. I dont want this to be
its too upsetting. I shouldnt have let
this happen, someone I wasnt speaking with
before and while he was here, and now gone
again. Just with my life. :( I knew
better, I am smarter then that, there is
just no way to go back and its so hard to
accept that from now on this is reality
that the rest of my life may be very short
and scary. And I mean , there is always
the possibility that he may never even be
charged - that has crossed my mind. Like
what if he gets away with homicide :( this
could have all been avoided. If I wasnt
so nice and went out of my way to talk to
him - I didnt even want to see him , hes
not a good friend I would love to see so
im upset. What goes through this type of
persons mind, like how can they even think
of commiting such an evil thing? Like
thats so sick - im a nice sweet beautiful
girl with the most amount of love inside
and very much into church, how can he live
with himself? I never did anything to him
so im just like I cant believe hes so
evil. He just has really bad woman hating
issues and is taking it all out on me. I
thank god that he tried to actually warn
me tho I really do it shows me he was
there with me. I just didnt listen/act
quickly. But really I dont know what im
going to do when the results come back I
think im gonna freak out, already every
night over and over in my head I just want
to take it back and quickly get out of
there. I know it doesnt help me, but its
too hard to face reality. Id rather just
sleep and close my eyes then face whats
happening. Its sad when my dreams are
happier now then my actual life :( I relly
really dont want to have it :(
hi all i'm in desperate need
of your help! Ok, here goes I am a young
22 year old christian girl, very involved
in my church. I am very sweet,
beautiful, kind, caring just a very good
girl! I have my whole life in front of
me ive been accepted into university
planning on becoming a teacher :)
i am very admired, im very happy I love
life I love to smile and so nice and
friendly I make others happy! Ok here is
my problem, almost 2 months ago this guy
that I know who lives in ontario was
visiting my city for the holidays. Well
the last time I had talked to him was 2
months b4 that and I jokingly called him a
playa because he said he was going to be
seeing someone there and he had been
telling me on the phone he cared for me,
so he started swearing at me and I thought
whoa this guy does not deserve my
friendship! What an a**hole seriously.
We had been together in august when he was
here which was part of his manipulation.
Anyways I have found out what a huge
monster he is, he is all lies hes much
older then me which I just found out too.
He is supposed to be a youth minister,
but I found out hes a liar and will sleep
with anyone :( so he told me he will be
seeing someone that was also going to be a
police officer there. A week later we
hear he knows a woman that found out she
was pregnant and at first they were going
to keep the baby, but then she decided to
not keep it. My first instinct was it
was involving him, even tho he never
brought this up to me, I just knew. I
talked with him on the phone and he
sounded so upset and depressed. Then a
week later and thats when he started to
lose it and swear at me. So I see him
when he is here at the holidays I was
working at the mall and this is the first
time I talked to him since then. My
first impression was whoa he looked way
different! He is fillipino so his skin
is naturally dark, well it looked light
and he looked way older, I noticed he had
reddish rashes on his face. He started
winking at me and I just said hi and I was
really busy so I had to work. Over the
next few days I noticed his number on my
phone and I never bothered to call him
back. I did talk with him once when he
called and hes like you should come over
now...And I said no, maybe we can go for
coffee sometime. And that was that.
Well unfortunately on the night of dec
29th, my friend who is friends with him
calls and is like she wants to call him.
I had hardly anything to say to him, and
then he said to my friend, tell your
friend she should hang out with me later.
He was going back that night and hes like
I wont see you for another year. I said
well, maybe for a few mins. He comes by
my house and I get in his truck, ( we've
gone for a drive before without anything
happening ) and he starts driving and I
asked where are we going and he said that
he cant leave the truck running. He
starts heading in the direction of his
parents house and I said no I dont want to
go. We are in front and he wants to go
inside, but I said no lets just talk here.
Hes very manipulative and he said we'll
talk inside. I never knew what kind of
danger lied ahead. We went inside and
immidiately he starts trying to kiss me
and I kept turning my cheek to him and I
said no your my friend. I saw the tv and
I said lets watch tv! Lets talk lets
just hang out! He said no we cant and we
have to go where its quiet. He lead me
past his parent room and into a room. He
started trying things and I kept telling
him no! Lets just talk! Hes just my
friend, im being good and im waiting for
my husband! I really didnt want him to
be doing that stuff so I kept pushing him
away when he grabbed at everything. I
just kept trying to talk to him. Well he
started getting mad started swearing got
up and said he is going to start the car.
But he came back in 2 secs later and that
is when I got the most terrifying feeling
in my life! Ive never felt that scared
in my life, it was like he was going to
kill me. I didnt understand because I
thought I was in the presence of a friend.
I will regret not acting on that for the
rest of my life. I should have left
immidiately at that moment, how many ppl
get that kind of a warning. It would
have saved my life. He sits back down
and continues to manipulate saying I dont
care about him blah blah and he wants to
make love to me. I said no im waiting
for my husband. The whole time I was
there was probablly an hour of this
without anything happening, it was pretty
clear I wanted absolutely nothing go
happen! I kept telling him to stop! He
is very controlling and manipulative, and
he got quite agressive. He said his neck
was sore, and wanted me to touch it and I
noticed it was extremely bumpy. His
stomach was also making all these bad
sounds, he had the worst taste in his
mouth when he foced a kiss on me, he had
this large dry thing on the inside of his
arm and I noticed also he had a lot of dry
skin. I noticed a lot of really bad
things about him and got really bad
feelings and everything just felt really
evil. He shoved his hand in my face at
one point, and well he took off my pants
he went inside me without foreplay, just
did it even tho I didnt want him to. He
started manipulating and I asked so what
happened to him and his gf and he said
that they arent together because he likes
me which is bs because last time I had
talked to him he said he is going to be
with her and focus on his career. I see
now he is the biggest liar in this world,
and anything he said to me on the phone
was all lies he was just toying with me.
I know he was wearing a condom at first I
could tell. But at one point he stopped
and I asked what he was doing I was really
scared, and he was doing something to
himself. I got the feeling he took off
his condom and started thrusting again and
I believe he ejaculated inside without
telling me. He then said I was his
prisoner and did it again and really
started hurting me. I believe he
ejaculated in me both times. And I asked
him if he had taken it off and he said
when? He is a really big liar. And I
noticed there was a lot of stuff near my
vagina and it wasnt from me because I
didnt orgasm. I had really bad feelings.
The next night I started feeling really
sick like I was going to throw up, and
then it just got worse over the next few
days all the symptoms and I really felt
like I was going to die. Night sweats,
fevers, bumpy neck, fatigue, everything.
My whole body feels like its being
destroyed and im decaying. My face has
changed I feel like im dying. I can
hardly do anything and my brain feels
damaged and my personality has changed.
I am no longer that beautiful happy
cheerful smiling girl, I think he has
destroyed me, and on purpose. Like I
said before I was with him in august and
he was fine then, so I see everything now
and im like omg I saw all these things
wrong with him but nothing could ever say
that he had hiv and that he was going to
try and give me it! I called him asking
whats happening to me, and he said he
hopes I can forgive him and that whatever
it is is something he had im just getting
stronger and to drink lots of gatorade!
I said I felt like he contaminated me and
he said he knows he understands. Omg
what an a**hole! I got a test after a
month, but was encouraged to test again in
april. It doesnt look good, my whole
throat looks destroyed I look bad, feel
really bad cant sleep good, everything is
going wrong! This a**hole has ruined my
life, and its someone that I thought I
knew, that pressured me to have sex with
him so he could give this to me! I dont
know what im going to do.. My life was
so beautiful before he did this! I see
everything now, he said on the phone is he
not allowed to get stupidly drunk? I
believe that he did that in nov, probably
after his gf got an abortion which he
denies, and he never even told me about
his gf! He admitted on the phone that im
not going to like what he has to say, that
he sleeps a lot and has trouble
concentrating and thinking. He also is
coughing bad on the phone saying that it
started in january, but I have proof from
someone that knows him that it started in
november along with physical changes like
the whiteness in his face and rashes.
Omg I see everything I just never knew he
was this much of an a**hole and would set
to kill me just because his life is over
and wants to bring an innocent girl with
him :( now he went back to ontario and I
think im dying :( and he set the whole
thing up! He is a huge a**hole I think
the biggest on the planet, I never ever
saw this. If my friend never called this
would never have happened! And worse
part is shes friends with him so a lot of
times I feel like she defends him :(
please anyone have any guidance? I am
only 22 years old, I feel like my life
ended that night :( I think hes like 30 or
something and supposed to be a youth
leader! I live in a small city, I just
want my life back the way it was! I cant
live like this everyday, knowing that he
knew he was sick and did this to me on
purpose! :( I can hardly do anything, I
dont look beautiful anymore and I had to
stop working after he did this to me. I
wish I had never agreed to talk to him,
and even more wish I at least would have
listened to my gut instincts! Nothing
could tell me tho that one night would
ruin the rest of my life, I fear I may
also be pregnant.. I have the rest of my
life , university , getting married &
have a family! I cant deal with this, I
am very beautiful and sweet, one of the
nicest and sweetest most kind girls you
will ever meet. Everyone loves me and
yes I have a lot of admirers, he set out
to destroy me! He made a stupid mistake
in ontario and came here and just wanted
to take my life just because! Before
this happened I was going to start reading
at mass, and im very involved in church, I
cant believe this hes supposed to be a
christian and a friend, I was manipulated
tricked and decieved! Please help im
living a nightmare I cant wake up from
:(
|
BADSAL
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2004 Posts: 257 Location: PA
Posted: 04-11-05 13:54pm
So do you have any updates? Have you
gotten any help yet?
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 04-14-05 14:57pm
I feel terrible, I feel like I just let
him do this to me when I knew better. I
had actual warnings, he thinks he
completely fooled me, but I was stupid for
not listening to myself and knowing I was
in danger even tho he pretended to be a
friend in the past god provided me with
all the warnings and feelings I was in
danger that I needed to save myself and
get out. :( when I wake up im like please
please be over and this didnt happen.
Even my dreams now are that I have hiv.
Im not happy when im awake or sleeping. I
feel like such a fool, I know there was no
way to see what he was going to do, but if
I had acted quicker and because I knew I
wanted nothing to happen I should not have
been there for so long. He is obvioulsy
not a guy that is going to give up. I
have been in a situation before where I
told someone no and they said ok and we
just cuddled. I hear little things people
say and its like it speaks out to me, I
heard my brother say about his job what
might have been if he stayed there, but
just that spoke to me about my own
situation. What might have been with my
life. This creep knew he would be able to
get away with this :( just yesterday I was
thinking of suicide because its too hard
to accept this reality, at 22 years old
possibly be given hiv on purpose by
someone you know who is just an problem.
Its hard to deal with because I wasnt
speaking with him before and didnt like
him to begin with so I cant believe
anything even happened. I didnt want to
thats for sure. Its a nightmare. I was
thinking of suicide, but I love my family
so much, my mom came home and its like how
could I ever do that to her ? But how can
I live and be like mom your sweet daughter
has been given hiv its so depressing.
And he is threatening a lawsuit right now
if I dont retract I guess and tell people
who I have told what happened that its not
true or something. So he just created my
whole beautiful life into a nightmare. If
I had listened to myself at that very
moment instead of trusting him. If only.
|
filbygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2004 Posts: 41 Location: Toronto, ON Canada
Hiv/rape Crisis Posted: 04-14-05 15:53pm
Hi laura
first let me say that my thoughts are with
you and what happened is just awful. I
had a similar date rape experience where
someone who I thought was my friend put a
drup in my drink and raped me, claiming it
was concentual. I was also panicked
about aids as I knew that this person had
slept around alot! I went for tests but
I was so panicked. It took over my life
and I was imagining all sorts of awful
symptoms. Luckily, my symptoms were
caused by stress and my tests all came
back negative. I was also 22 when this
happened and I had the same feelings of my
life being over. I also did not report
it, but should have, I regret that, but I
was ashamed and afraid even though I know
it was not my fault. But I am now 26,
happily married to a wonderful man, have a
great job and am very happy. This can
still all work out for you. When you get
your test results you just need be strong
no matter what the results are, stop
balming yourself. If it is positive,
then that is awful, but you will be strong
and you will deal with it. If it is
negative, then you can thank god and get
on with life and try to put this whole
nightmare behind you. Laura, I will be
thinking about you and praying for you.
Please keep us all posted and let us know
when you get your test results. Take
care and god bless.
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 04-15-05 13:33pm
Hi thank you all for your thoughts and
prayers :)
filbygirl im really happy everything
worked out so well for you and happy that
your now happily married :) that was my
plan in the next few years after
university, I already met the man I want
to marry :) and we have talked about it
and hes the most special most amazing guy
in the world we have yet to share our
first kiss even and we met 2 years ago at
church. He is the sweetest guy and so
romantic and funny and charming and happy
and so full of love. We are a perfect
match and just it was love at first sight
:) I have been dreaming of going to see
him for a while hes at college but would
like to transfer to the same school as me.
I just know he is the one for me we both
knew right away :) he said where have I
been all his life im his other half like I
complete him hes such a sweetie! Date
rape is a really bad thing and I dont
think anyone should have to go through.
It just bugs me that he knew I didnt want
to and I was there for so long telling him
no. I just should have used my head and
noticed when hes not really giving up and
im telling him to stop, then its time for
me to get up and get out :)
i have learned from this that no matter
who you are with, your feelings are your
feelings and they are definitely telling
you something. My feelings said I was in
danger, even tho I have hung out with him
before and never got those feelings, so
obviously there is something wrong. I
really wanted nothing to happen and I just
remember after like all that time and me
just wanting to sleep I was so tired, and
thinking he was a friend I never saw this.
He just kind of attacked and it happened
so quickly and I was so scared and uneasy
about the whole thing like I hope nothing
happens, because I remembered all these
weird things about him. I know he had one
on at first so I didnt realize he took it
off and I wanted to go I even had to use
the washroom and he says no hes going to
make me his prisoner and had me pinned
down. I know I was trying to be saved by
god once again before it was too late.
When he said that to me I was really kind
of scared like hes acting really weird and
I see what he meant by that comment. It
meant hes going to kill me. I know this
could have all been prevented if I had not
trusted. People in my community all know
him because he is originally from here,
just moved to ontario a few years ago and
visits. It is said that he kind of puts
on a christian act when he comes here and
then does god knows what when he goes back
home, things like occult etc. And is
supposed to be a youth minister, tho no
longer because I let his priest know what
he is like. Also someone has recently
approached me and let me know that this
happened to them by this guy, when she was
very very very young like 13. So he would
have been 23 at the time :( I couldnt
believe it I was so disgusted. He has a
major problem, I wish I knew all this
before it happened to me. I didnt know he
had such problems, he will basically do
anything. So him being from ontario he
was sleeping around a lot which I had no
idea. But what I just found out I was so
shocked, its possible it might have been
consentual or just really pressured with
her, but that is rape. So looks like
everyone in the community is about to back
me up, people are asking about me and they
say that he better not show his face
around here again. Also a young christian
friend recently admitted they were with
him one day and he was digging in his
pocket and he goes, oh is that a condom in
my pocket, whoops. And hes supposed to be
involved in church and he said this to a
youth. Hes so sick, and hes like 10 years
older then all of us. It was against my
will, and unfortunately I believe he did
much worse to me. I got very sick and he
admitted it all when I called him about
it. So he is the type that will go and
sleep with girls from bars and I had no
idea. I just never saw this coming, didnt
think agreeing to talk to him was going to
lead to this. I was right with my
feelings tho, knowing to say I dont want
to go anywhere and dont want to go inside.
That was taking precaution and knowing I
dont want to be alone with him. Just wish
the rest didnt happen :( I actually had a
good dream last night I was with the guy
that I love and we were together and he
was telling me how hes falling in love
with me :) it made me happy and I just
really really wish that this never
happened and I can still be with him
because I was waiting for him :)
|
laura22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 16
Posted: 04-18-05 15:10pm
I think that has to be the worst crime
doing that to someone on purpose, because
they are already going to die and they
just want to kill and take someone else
with them. For nothing :( like thats just
the most evil thing in the world. Its
really really awful :( I just wish I could
have avoided this whole situation and had
gone to school when I got accepted and
that I never saw him while he was here
because that was his plan the whole week
and I was able to avoid him the whole
time. Its too depressing :( it just
happend so quickly after protesting the
whole time. I already can tell it is
thats why im so upset. My plans were the
retreat this summer and then school in the
fall and join my friends and make tons of
more friends :) now it doesnt look like
that will be. He is a nightmare and it
was just like that. There was no way to
know he was going to try and homicide me.
I just knew that I didnt want anything to
happen and made it known the whole time I
was there. So im like I wish I had not
been there for this to happen. Its just
way too much im only 22 you dont do this
tosomeone who hasnt even had the chance to
live yet :( I have way too much to
experience and see in my life to have it
over already.
