My 33 yr old husbad died last thanksgiving
in a motorcycle accident. He left me with
two small children and a house to care
for. I have had people living with me up
until a month ago. I got tired of being
taken advantage of and felt I needed to be
on my own, take care of me... I've
decided that it really sucks to be alone.
When you get married you plan to be with
that person forever or atleast a long
time. I'm pissed
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Michelle Pereira
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2004 Posts: 1 Location: SC
Being a Widow Posted: 01-22-04 07:05am
I lost my husband and soul mate dec 29 ,
2002 it has been little over a year and
feel like I have been robbed. It took 50
years to fins him and 5 minutes to loose
him from a massive heart attack. I am
1000 miles from family and on my ouwn. I
am going on but it is so hard. I have
tried hospic support groups that have
helped some to cope but it will take time
and love of myself. I know my husband
wouldn't want to see me hurt he loved me
so. If anyone wpuld like to chat or needs
a lady to talk to I am here for you. I
have been there and know the hurt you feel
. Feel free to e-mail me at any time you
would like to talk, at r_pere
ira@comcast.Net.
Michelle in sc
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Jay-Banning
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2004 Posts: 6
I Am Sorry For You Both... I Hope to Hear It Gets Better Posted: 06-27-04 20:50pm
I lost my beautiful 25yr old wife three
weeks ago to viral myocarditis. It was
completely unexpected. Her heart went
critical in what seemed like a matter of
hours and they couldn't stablize her.
New years eve would have been our 5th year
anniversary.
I am fortunate in the fact I have our
beautiful 4yr old daughter that is the
spitting image of my wife. I also have
lots of friends and family to guide me
through this, however I actually prefer
being alone at the moment.
The pain like you both know is incredible.
I am a slim 25yr old man and depression
has stolen my appetitie and I have nausea
at some level 24/7. I am fighting to eat
and stay healthy to take care of my
daughter.
Mornings are usual the worst, I have the
physical problems similiar to a hangover.
Motivation is hard to come by, expecially
when daughter goes to bed for a nap or
sleep. Emotion is a roller coaster...
Mainly down. I can usually maintain a
wall up during the day and release all the
emotion alone at night.
I can fortunately say I have no regrets.
We lived for each other everyday, our
house was always a mess because we where
always having fun together, we still had a
great passion for each other, and I could
honestly say my love for her got strogner
everyday. I do have one regret that I
couldn't protect like a husband
should....
I hurt right now when I think of her, not
the bad memories of her last day, but the
good ones even hurt. I don't want to
forget her, but at the same time I don't
want to hurt. I always say a prayer to
her and god every night, I always show
pictures of her to my little girl, I won't
let her forget about her mother.
Does it get better to when you think of
your spouse you won't hurt? There are
times where I tune out the world,
concentrate on something unimportant...
Unrelated to her (play the guitar for
example).... I'm not happy, but I don't
hurt.... After i'm done I just hurt like
always... Sometimes worse than before.
I question if there really is an escape to
the pain. Please don't think I am
suicidal... I have a little girl to take
care of and wouldn't dare leave her. I'm
sure both of you like me welcomed the
thought of being with them sooner than
later in heaven. At 25 it looks like I
have an incredibly long wait.
Michelle&ms. Lopez I pray god brings
peace to your hearts and comfort to your
souls, this is a pain no one should have
to endure.
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deeann67
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2004 Posts: 4 Location: port jefferson, Ny
Posted: 11-03-04 09:59am
Wow, I just joined this site. I guess
the loss of a spouse is really a universal
feeling for everyone. I lost my husband
april 2002 and still feel it everyday.
He was 35 and it was an unexpected event
and the most trauma i've experienced to
date. I do have a 7 year old son and
must function for him, but I understand
the thoughts of not wanting to be here
even though I don't want to leave here
mainly because of my son. It seems as
though the world is going by and changing
and you are stuck in the same spot. Hard
to explain. I don't know how you feel
better except time. I don't know if i'll
ever love someone that way again, that's a
sad reality. But I thank god I had the
opportunity to have this wonderful man in
my life and know some people never
experience that sort of relationship and
of course I have the best gift of all, my
son. The only thing I can say for sure
is that there is always someone who has
had a worse hand dealt them in this life
and you must always be glad for what you
do have and appreciate and love everyone
important to you every day because you
never know what tomorrow will bring.
Good luck to all of you and try to do
something for yourselves each day to bring
a smile to your faces. You all deserve
it and your loved ones would want you to
do that!!
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summer17
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 26 Location: Seattle, WA
I Lost My Father Posted: 03-25-05 01:08am
Hi.. I'm 17 and I never saw this forum
before now.. I now how all of you feel.
I didn't lose a spouse I lost my father
when I was 16. He had cancer and it was
oct. 24th at 3:15 a.M. When my sister
joni came in my bedroom to tell me had
passed away. We knew before that we didnt
have long to say our goodbye's. Well I
told him goodbye and that I loved him on
the 23rd. I said "daddy I am sorry for
being selfish and if you are only staying
here for me then you need to go.." stop
hurting is what I was thinking. It was
so hard at the visitation. Because my
father wanted to be cremated and it hurt
knowing that I was never going to see him
again. He was not my real dad but he was
the only father figure that I had. He
treated me like his real daughter. He
called me his daughter. He told me he
loved me everyday. I miss him more and
more and it don't get better ever. It
does get easier day by day.
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meatroach
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: Vancouver BC
I Am Going to Be Widower Soon.... Posted: 11-06-05 13:55pm
And teh more time that goes by the more I
have to face the reality that she'll be
gone. My wife is in end stage cystic
fibrosis, we're hoping she'll see
christmas 2006. The ehought of her being
gone is right now so painful I want to
vomit. I know it's coming and i'm having
a hard time dealing with this imminent
doom. We haven't given up by any means
and we'll fight o the end to stay together
as long as we can. I'm sory for all your
pain and suffering, in a way i'm lucky
because I can prepare for it and sturdy
myself against the onslaught of emotion
and heartbreak, but at the same time it's
like torture waiting....Waiting.... If
you all had extra time to spend with your
respected others knowing there was nothing
you could do to stop tihs, what would you
have done to prepare for this "event"?
I'm trying to find a way to cope that's
not going to be detremental to me.
I hope you all can find some comfort in
eachother through your times.
Kevin
29yrs old married for 10yrs, scared to
death. :cry:
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pip2000
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 79 Location: uk
Widower Soon .... Posted: 11-06-05 14:48pm
Dear kevin,it is so sad but you can
prepare even though I say that its still
very hard when the time comes,i have lost
so many family members and in so many
ways,it comes as a shock no matter how you
lose your loved ones,i do feel for you
remember the good times,make an album of
all your favorite photos, this has made me
sad tonight reading these problems,mine
seem really small god be with you all.God
bless x
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martian
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Mar 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Winston-Salem
Any Widow/widowers Posted: 03-08-06 01:45am
I lost my 34 year old husband in a auto
accident in 11-05. He was, and he still
is the high light of our lives. I miss
him so much. The sad thing is all other
people think about is when you are going
to go on with your life. I am not
suicidal, but I would love for the world
to end now. My whole family thinks that I
am crazy. Atleast, I would be with the
good lord and my husband. The sad thing
is that my cousin was in the wreck with my
husband. He was paralyzed for about a
month, but he can now walk. He doesn't
thank god or mourn my husband. Well,
thanks for anyone who listens. I just
want people to talk to in the same
situation.
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DeLaune
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 1 Location: St. Amant, LA
It's Been Almost a Year For Me Too Posted: 11-03-06 13:29pm
Hi, I just joined the site, I lost my
husband last dec. 15, 2005. It's been a
very hard year. He was so healthy, he
was only sick two days, he went to the
doctor in the afternoon and I got up
around 2:00am to give him meds and he was
gone, I was in shock, still am. He died
of pneamonia. Pep, thats what I called
him was only 48. I am 43. He was my
second husband and the father my four
daughters never had, without him in our
lives I know my children would not be the
great people they are now. He got to
walk my two older girls down the isle, but
I don't know who will walk my two younger
girls down the isle. I can understand
about not wanting to eat, I fought that
one for a long time, I still have days
that I am just sick and I know that
hangover feeling your talking about too!
I miss him more and more everyday, I can't
keep on going sometimes I feel like I am
just stuck and can't think or move. I
have a grandson with heart defects and a
granddaughter with kidney diaseses, a
daughter graduating high school and
preparing for collage, and a fifteen year
old ready to start dating. A mortage to
pay, that land that has been in my family
over 200 years is collateral, and I have
been a housewife for 23 years so I got a
job making 8.50 an hour, after survivor
benifits run out in about a year, I don't
know what i'm going to do. Oh yes and I
have no health ins, with survivor benifits
we do not qualify for any type of
assistance, so I have had no meds thought
out all of this and no help when I get
sick. I just want my husband back, none
of this would matter if I could just have
him, I was always safe, we laughed
everyday. Well, I guess I just needed to
vent, my faith has been the very biggest
healer in all of this and hopeful will
continue to sustain me.
