Ok so i'm back for a quick question. My
friend went out with hubby's bro for 3 yrs
and never had a pregnancy scare because
she took her pills. Well ever since I
got pregnant she keeps saying she wants a
baby (she's also 3 yrs younger than me)
she has a new boyfriend (maybe 6 months
now) she stopped taking her pills and now
she's 1 1/2 months pregnant. She called
me up the other day to tell me she was
pregnant but getting an abortion. I
can't understand why she bothered stopping
her pills. (she has the money to buy
them) plus she never used condoms with
this new guy and met him in a bar.
Anyway I told her to do what she thought
was best but also told her I think she
needs to go and get tested for std's
etc.
Now in my mind what she's doing is wrong
since she knew she'd get pregnant but...
These are the types of abortions I don't
approve of. Anyone have an opinion?
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FISHX
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2004 Posts: 920 Location: UK
Posted: 03-01-05 09:39am
I'm sorry I know she is your friend but I
think that it is disgusting to set out
with the intention of getting pregnant and
then terminating that pregnancy for no
good reason.
Did she find out that there was a problem
with the pregnancy or something because I
really can't imagine someone getting
pregnant intentionaly and then terminating
for no reason?
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lil_blaze2004
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Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-01-05 09:53am
Nope, no probs, that's my prob too. I'm
like "well you stopped your pills and
they've always worked before so why stop?"
i'm a lil disgusted with her too.
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lil_blaze2004
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Posted: 03-01-05 10:37am
She's perfectly sane (i think) I really
don't get it. My bf doesn't even want to
hear about it, he thinks she's a nutball.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-01-05 12:12pm
I hope this doesn't offend you, being as
she is your friend, forgive me if it
does.
Maybe she wants attention? I mean, you
said that ever since you got pregnant she
wants a baby. So, either she quit taking
her pills to get pregnant on purpose and
is only saying she is getting an abortion
for attention, or maybe she regrets
getting pregnant? I dunno. No, it
doesn't seem right at all.
And she definately needs to get tested for
std's! Argh, there are so many out there!
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lil_blaze2004
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Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-01-05 12:54pm
No she's really going for an abortion,she
asked if i'd go with her and I told her I
felt wrong going considering I am 6 months
preggers and to gether bf to go with her.
She doesn't want to get tested and i'm
like well now you're being real dumb, it's
easier to get an std than get pregnant.
But her bf is muslim and he finds it wring
that she wants to get tested ????
what??? I thouhgt too maybe it was the
attention thing but she's not telling
anyone so?? Who knows? I just wanted
to know if I was the only one thinking
this was a lil wrong.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-01-05 12:58pm
What? He thinks it is wrong to get
tested, but okay to have premarital sex?
What a person!(lol, sorry) sounds to me
like he has something to hide!
No, the whole thing seems shady, I don't
know. I don't understand people 99.9% of
the time.
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lil_blaze2004
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Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-01-05 13:01pm
hotasfrick
wrote:
what? He thinks it is
wrong to get tested, but okay to have
premarital sex? What a person!(lol,
sorry) sounds to me like he has something
to hide!
No, the whole thing seems shady, I don't
know. I don't understand people 99.9%
of the time.
tell me about it, I told her to watch it
with this guy when they first started
going out. He doesn't allow her to come
to my house cause my bf is her ex's bro,
so whenever she wants to come she has to
lie! He's extremelly jealous.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-01-05 13:04pm
It just blows my mind that it is ok for
them to have premarital sex, ok to have an
abortion, but it is against his religion
for her to get tested for std's. Oh my.
If she wont listen to you, try the scare
tactic.
Tell her about how std's highten her risk
of cancer, can make her infertile, etc.
Maybe, just maybe that will work....Some
std's actually(if not treated) can lead
directly to cancer if she doesn't do
anything about it. Of course, he won't
get anywhere near the problems or symptoms
as she will from std's so what does he
care! Ugh, I hate guys like that.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-01-05 13:09pm
hotasfrick
wrote:
it just blows my mind that
it is ok for them to have premarital sex,
ok to have an abortion, but it is against
his religion for her to get tested for
std's. Oh my. If she wont listen to
you, try the scare tactic.
Tell her about how std's highten her risk
of cancer, can make her infertile, etc.
Maybe, just maybe that will work....Some
std's actually(if not treated) can lead
directly to cancer if she doesn't do
anything about it. Of course, he won't
get anywhere near the problems or symptoms
as she will from std's so what does he
care! Ugh, I hate guys like
that.
i've told her all kinds of things and ???
I've also told her she's gotta live her
life not his but, whatever she's being a
turd.
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mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Posted: 03-01-05 15:44pm
Is he forcing her to do it maybe? I don't
know what to tell you blaze...Just try to
keep talking to her...Maybe you will get
through...
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lil_blaze2004
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Posted: 03-01-05 16:00pm
mom2trevor
wrote:
is he forcing her to do it
maybe? I don't know what to tell you
blaze...Just try to keep talking to
her...Maybe you will get
through...
no he's not forcing her. She said it's
not the right time. I say "well why the
f*** did you stop your pills then?" I
really don't get the whole thing. Do u
think i'm wrong to tell her that I did not
want to go with her for the abortion since
I was preggers?? I don't think I could
handle it.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 03-01-05 17:14pm
Yeppers, she sounds pretty mixed up, it
could be attention, her bf sounds like a
half arsed control freak. She sounds
like she needs to pick herself up, dust
herself off and decide what she wants to
do and move on. I sure the heck would
not want his fetus growing inside of me
even though I would know that it would be
half mine. She sounds like she does not
know what she wants and now would probably
not be a good time to continue on w/the
pregnancy.
Keep in mind, you cannot tell anyone what
to do, you will just stress yourself out
more.
I would not go to the abortion w/her if I
were you, don't be silly, you have
different opinions, you are pregnant and
being upset will not help your pregnancy,
even though I do understand, I would back
off, as a friend and let her try to find
herself. Don't get me wrong, I am not
judging her, I am just stating my opinion,
you can still be friends. A lot of
pregnant females have second thoughts.
Sincerely,
sandy
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mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Posted: 03-01-05 20:26pm
I agree with everyone else...You are not
bad for not going with her. I agree with
jlee..She wanted to get pregnant...But
then all of a sudden she wants an
abortion? Something is odd about
this...Sorry I can't help ya more blaze
but i'm stumped...
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lil_blaze2004
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Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
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Posted: 03-02-05 09:05am
Wow i'm amazed to see we all actually
agree on something-lol. She called last
night but I told mike to tell her I was
sleeping. I just don't know what to say
to her. Anyway thanks for all ya'lls
advice, just wanted to make sure I wasn't
being a "female dog" for not going with
her.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-05-05 07:36am
If she was like a parentless, friendless,
manless person who absolutely had no one
else to drive her then maybe that would
make a difference.
But, you are right....You are pregnant and
you don't agree with what she is doing,
and she has her boyfriend (who should be
the one dealing with this) and I am sure
she has other friends too, so it is in no
way your responsability. Yeah, you are
her friend, and I am sure you love her and
will be there for her no matter what she
does, but if you don't want to take her,
then there is nothing wrong with that.
Don't feel bad.
