Well, my fiance and I are getting married
in may of this year. We have been
together for about 2 yrs now and really
want a baby. I have 1 little girl 4 yrs
old from a previous marriage and he
totally loves her as if she's his. The
thing is we don't have alot of money and
live in a 2 bedroom apt. We know we
could afford a 3 bedroom apt and there is
a program here that would give us 700 a mo
the first 3 mo of having a baby. I'm
also on ma so all my med bills would be
paid and wic would cover the formula. It
just seems a little off the wall to have
another and would love to get some
opinions on if i'm crazy or not! Also
would appreciate any advice on how life
changes from 1 kid to 2 cause I never want
to short my first born. Does the love
actually grow? I guess if we waited
until we had the money we would never have
a baby...So....
Anyway....Sorry so long and thanks in
advance for any advice you could give!
Tami
|
Innchik18
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2004 Posts: 247 Location: Oregon
Posted: 03-10-05 13:49pm
Ok now you asked for opinions so I am
going to tell you mine..
Im am sorry but if you are planning to
live and raise this child on welfare then
that is ridiculous. Why should the
tax-payers of your state raise your child.
I understand if a mistake happens and the
state helps out. But if you plan to have
child even though you cannot afford to
have one.. Well that is just selfish. Do
not make other people pay for your childs
dipaers and formula. And if you cannot
afford to then do not have kids right now.
Thats my opinions.. Sorry if I sounded
rude.. But you sounded selfish. Its sad
that you pretty figured out a way for the
state to pay you for having kids and thats
not right. You should be thinking of ways
to work and raise your kids with the money
you earn and not scamming the government.
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babymamahr01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 52 Location: WI
Posted: 03-10-05 19:21pm
1st off I didn't say i'm gonna go on
welfare....We have alot of bills but we
also have alot of love for the child...I
had my 1st at 18 and am completly off all
gov't assistance and have been since 6 mo
after she was born.....Number 2 I belive
in staying home and raising my children
not throwing them into a crummy daycare to
let someone else care for them just cause
I wanted to make a buck
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Princess385
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Dec 2004 Posts: 407 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 03-11-05 15:51pm
Baby yes you did say you're going to live
on welfare...Medicaid is welfare...700 a
month for the first 3 months is
welfare....I am going to be honest here.
You are in no way able to afford this
child. Why raise a child on welfare all
it's life? That just ain't right. And
seeing as you said you have a lot of
bills, you for sure won't be coming out of
htis any time soon. How old are you?
And why can't you wait a little longer
till you're able to have another without
being on welfare? I'm assuming that
you're younger....Wait it out...See what
life brings you before bringing another
child into the world.
|
Kourtney08
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2004 Posts: 937 Location: Alaska
Here I Go.. Posted: 03-11-05 20:25pm
Quote:
why should the
tax-payers of your state raise your
child
im sorry, but i'd much rather have a
person have their child on wic, and
medicaid, then not give a damn if their
child eats, or is healthy. Thats just my
opinion, I guess im crazy.
Quote:
do not make other
people pay for your childs dipaers and
formula.
as a tax payer, i'd like to say (again)
that i'd much rather have a woman on
welfare, then not, and not taking proper
care of her child. What is selfish, is
people who complain about mother who our
on welfare 'using' their money. *rolls
eyes* for their babies. Some mothers,
granted do just 'use' the system, but
there are a lot of woman out there who are
working, and on some kind of welfare.
Instead of whining and health forum, be
greatful they want to take care of their
child properly, and if its going to take
welfare to do it, then so be it.
Sorry if I was a health forum, but I think
you could have given your 'advice' in a
more suitable manor.
|
babymamahr01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 52 Location: WI
Thank You Kourtney08 Posted: 03-11-05 21:08pm
I did not say to those who said I did that
I was going on welfare. In our state
that is a totally different
program....Sorry but formula is expensive
and so are medical bills and not being
able to afford that shouldn't not stop you
from haveing a child! All I want is to
know I can provide for my children and
give them the best life possible and just
because i'm not rich like those of you who
are against the tax money using...They
have those programs to help people.....Not
saying it would be forever. Would you
rather I not feed my child???? Sorry but
it ain't happening, and I just got off my
bc and I am going to have a baby and all
those against it can screw off cause I
feel I can be a good mother as I already
am to the little girl I got!!!!
Thank you kourtney08 for the support!!!!
|
pinkbaby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 618 Location: Arizona
Posted: 03-11-05 21:18pm
Kourt, your not crazy, I agree.
Being financial stable isnt the only
aspect to raising a child. Im not a mom
yet, but I already know this. Having
money, or being able to "afford" your
child will not make you a good mother.
Babymamahr01 might be one heck of a mom,
so what if shes not rich? Im not either,
and im sure alot of girls on this site
arent. Ive worked, and paid for other
girls to be on welfare, just like everyone
else, but it doesnt matter who the girl
is, were always going to have to pay, no
matter if its babymamahr01 or some girl in
new york that I dont even know. So it
really doesnt matter to me.
And babymamahr01, I think that the
decision is up to you and your fiance. It
doesnt matter how you do it, but if you
can take care and love the baby properly,
then I say go for it.
|
redsugar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 140
Posted: 03-12-05 19:17pm
Soo...You don't want to work, you just
want to have another kid and get money
from the gov.? Can you not try and save
up a little bit of money first? I
understand people who have unplanned preg.
To have to get gov. Assistance until
they get a good education and a good job
but for you to plan to get pregnant and
say "oh i'll just get on medicaid and
wic." and it seems like you don't have
any goals just to stay at home for the
rest of your life? It's a nice idea to
be a housewife, but what are you gonna do
if god forbid something happens(death,
divorce) you aren't going to have any
money or job to fall back on. From your
post i'm assuming your only 22...You are
still young, you should wait and save up
some money somehow.
By the way...Day cares aren't that bad if
you check them out first, I worked in one
for 2 years and I will gladly put my baby
in that one when it comes
|
linuxChique
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 4535
Posted: 03-12-05 20:16pm
I don't think you're crazy, and I don't
look down on you for wanting a child, but
I do think there is a better way to do it.
I think you should wait until you don't
have to rely on government programs.
|
babymamahr01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 52 Location: WI
Posted: 03-12-05 21:19pm
My fiancee has a good job and is almost
through college.... I havn't worked from
the time my daughter was born but I have
been through college for childcare and
babysit.....And btw I have worked in a
daycare and there are some really bad
ones, besides why have a child if you
can't be there to love it and watch it
grow. My little girl just turned four
and i'm in a program that tests her
development and she's at a 1st grade
leval.....It's because of me! I belive
in raising my kids. And just so you all
know I am planning on buying my own
diapers...Clothes etc...Maybe you're just
jelous cause you still live at home with
mommy and daddy and don't qualify. At
least we are on our own with 0 help from
our parents doing the best we can
|
June4life
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 550
Posted: 03-12-05 23:55pm
I personally hate programs such as
welfare.
Yes, I agree it does help a lot of mothers
and young mothers who are really trying to
do their best. But I cant stand how much
the entire system is abused. If you need
welfare, then fine. But I believe there
should be a time limit basis of it. Like
if welfare gave you 6 months of money or
whatever just so you could get back on ur
feet again. Thats fine.
But there are so many mothers out there
who just think of it as free money. They
dont bother trying to get a job. They
just abuse the system.
|
babymamahr01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 52 Location: WI
Posted: 03-13-05 01:09am
Yes, many people do abuse it but I don't
see it as abuse if all you want is a child
and to give it a good life
there is no law you must be rich to have
kids and be happy
|
redsugar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Posts: 140
Posted: 03-13-05 08:45am
No sweetie, i'm not jealous, and actually
I would qualify b/c i'm 21 and out of my
parents house, but I have insurance...Ever
heard of that? If your husband has such
a good job shouldn't he have good benifits
that you should have also?
|
babymamahr01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 52 Location: WI
Posted: 03-13-05 10:33am
Yes, but I would qualidy for ma too and I
don't understand why it's so bad to not
start my childs life in more debt then we
already are.....It's all a matter of
jelousy.....
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 03-13-05 10:55am
Honestly I simply think dont have a child
unless you can truly provide for a child
plain and simple :-/
|
SamiNSunisMa
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 1528
Posted: 03-13-05 13:51pm
I think no, now I applaud girls that are
on wic, usually, because they are doing
the best for their child, but purposely
bringing a child into the world that will
be on government assistance. I understand
your want for another child, but seriously
think about it.
In the end its up to you!
|
Kourtney08
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2004 Posts: 937 Location: Alaska
Posted: 03-13-05 19:02pm
Quote:
i personally hate
programs such as
welfare.
thats actually quite sad. Yes, there are
many people who 'abuse' the system. There
are also plenty woman who are not, who
need that to support there children. Im
so sick of people complaining 'oh I have
to pay for someone to sit on their ass and
live off the government.' yeah, im sure
you do. But you also pay for kids to be
healthy, so why don't you health forum
about it some more.
Quote:
by the way...Day
cares aren't that bad if you check them
out first, I worked in one for 2 years and
I will gladly put my baby in that one when
it comes
i wont be putting my child in day care. I
do indeed think they arn't the 'best'
option for a child. I was in day cares,
was abused in them. I've also see other
kids abused in day cares. Those people
don't care about my child, they're trying
to make a living. I'd much rather sit at
home with my child, and grow with her,
instead of having a complete stranger bond
with her. Since my boyfriend can provide
money, enough for me to be able to stay
home. I will, and I will be on wic while
I do it too, and if anyone thinks being a
stay at home mom is a lazy job, come be in
my shoes for a few days and then flap your
mouth.
|
June4life
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 550
Posted: 03-13-05 23:11pm
Still doesn't change my views on it.... I
hate welfare.
|
babymamahr01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 52 Location: WI
Posted: 03-13-05 23:57pm
I don't get why everyone thinks my life
goal is to sit on my ass cause as it's
stated being a stay at home mom is alot of
work but I wouldn't trade it in a
heartbeat. So I want a baby....Is there
something wrong with that? I have a
right to be happy no matter what I must do
to be that way. Everyone has hard
times....What would you do if you had a
baby and lost your job ....Starve the baby
cause you don't like gov't assistance?
What kind of mom would that make ya? I
am a great mom who made it go with my
first who I had at 18. Guess what I got
help then...Used it for as long as I
needed and am now doing fine...It was a
way to get on my feet. I love my little
girl and i'm here for herre! That's
what's important!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
June4life
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 550
Posted: 03-14-05 12:21pm
Ita- I don’t mind welfare for mothers
who are actually trying to get on their
feet again and give the best life they can
for their child. Im just saying that I
hate it how a lot of the time the system
is used, and taken advantage of. That’s
when it bothers the hell out of me.
For example, I live in an extremely
wealthy area. And it bothers the caca out
of me that my neighbors are abusing
welfare. Their 16-year old daughter just
had a baby. And they buy everything and
support their daughter and the baby 100%.
They pay for everything. But the 16y/o
daughter is on wic and welfare. If she
was buying everything herself for the
baby, then I wouldn’t care that she’s
on it. But her parents buy the baby
everything and treat the baby like their
child rather than grandchild. The pay for
all the expenses of the baby, and the
daughter still gets free money. So I
don’t know. These people are extremely
wealthy, and have a daughter who lives
with them on welfare and she doesn’t
even support her child.
Do you see what I mean?
The state thinks she is living at her
boyfriends house, and emancipated and
that’s why she gets the money…
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