Should I Have a Baby..

First of all I have worked and gone to college while I was pregnant ..... And the whole debate about tax money...Well my soon to be husband works a full time job and about 10-15 hrs a week overtime so his money would just be coming back to us anyway...You act like we both don't have jobs and want to live off welfare forever. I don't even know if I could get the 700 for 3 mo. If I can good...If not oh well. We are already looking at moving into a 3 bedroom apt which arounf here costs about 650 a mo. But we are not getting housing assistance. We buy our own food...Pay to do our laundry...Etc. All I would be getting from the gov't is formula and med assistance which my soon to be husband has insurance so ot would only be covering the remaining 20 perecent. Also why have a child if you have to have someone else raise your child. I love being a stay at home mom.....There are plenty moms who are....Cause I know my child is safe and loved. I just don't see a point in poping out children to fill the daycares which btw around here run close to 300 a week. Maybe those who disagree with me don't yet have a child and don't realize how much they cost!!! I will do what I need to to take care of any children I have and I don't think what I am doing is wrong unless caring for and loving my child is wrong! :!: :!: :!:

Yeah, sorry girls but I agree with the first couple of replies.
No, I don't have a problem with a woman who has a child or has one on the way using wic and medicaid for their child! But I do have a big problem with someone trying to conceive knowing that they can't afford the baby. Yes, there is something wrong with that. When you are going to try to have a baby, ya know, make it happen on purpose then be ready! Financially and emotionally and every other way possible. Don't just say, "oh, well, I can't afford to get pregnant, but I am going to anyway because of wic,medicaid etc." those programs are made for people who get pregnant and cannot afford it, but it isn't there to promote people getting pregnant because the government will just pay for it.
I hate to sound cruel, but I was raised to hold my own! I was raised to marry for love, get financially stable enough and then if I want kids to have them. Now, no, I am not saying I am perfect, and I could have ended up pregnant and definately not in this order! But, what I am saying is that if you really want a baby, then do what is right for the baby!
I don't think I would have very much respect for my parents if they had purposely gotten pregnant knowing the government would support me.

Funny...The only one's who put me down are barly old enought to be called adults and even some who aren't legal age yet.......



To all who put me down....


Grow up !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should grow up? Honey, you have no idea how old I am then apparently. And, what is the point of having children for someone else to raise them? First of all daycare doesn't raise children. Daycare cares for your children while you and your husband, or you and the father of your child or just you are out "working" to support you child! Would I want to put my child in daycare? Ideally know, but then again I am not out trying to get pregnant either.
And just because your husband works 40 hours a week plus 10-15 hours of overtime doesn't mean that it is just "your money coming back to you." that is crap and you know it. You already would get your money back in your tax returns for your children then on top of that you are getting medical assistance and wic. So, no, the other taxpayers are in a way, not fully, but in a way supporting you.
And if your husband works 50-55 hours a week, don't you want to wait until he would be able to spend more time with your child? Let's say he works afternoons, okay fine, then why don't you work daylight or midnight to earn extra money and not collect wic and medical assistance? If your husband is getting insurance soon, then why not wait?
Like I said if you were already pregnant it would be a different story, but you are trying to act like you have everything worked out, but if it was all worked out then it wouldn't include government assistance.
And, no one is putting you down. You asked for everyone's opinions and you are getting them. Next time if you don't want them then you shouldn't ask. Now, you are getting all offended and trying to act like what you are doing is right and the rest of us need to grow up, when we aren't the ones asking if we should try to get pregnant and collect government assistance.

There is nothing wrong with wanting babies and there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home with your children. That is a wonderful thing. But loving your children starts before conception and you have the option right now of waiting a year or more or even less just to make sure the baby would have the best life you could possibly give it. So, if you truly want to bring a child into this world and love it and care for it the best you possibly can, then just wait until things settle a little. By the sounds of it you don't have very far to go at all, so why not just wait?

So you don't want kids right now...Maybe I do. Number 2 I didn't know everyone was going to jump down my throught cause I want a baby. All the other boards had supporters who have done the same thing as what I want to do. Number 3 you know nothing about my taxes. My ex gets to claim her and I don't see a cent of it so there. That's how great the system works...He never see's her....Don't pay c.S. Half the time but gets to claim her! And 4 hotasfrick you don't even know me so shut your mouth!!!!!

Arrrgghh..Will you get it through your head that noone is saying its wrong for you to want a child. Its natural feeling.. Yeah babies are cute. But all we're trying to say is that if you do not have an extra $3,000 a year just laying around then you should rethink it. I mean you have so many options.. While ur boyfriend is working right now and ur at home why dont you go to college.. Or some classes so you can get a part time job working like 4 hours a day or so. Even that will help.. Trust me. Its just the way you came off was.. "oh I love being a stay at home home and want more kids but we cant afford to raise them.. But I guess somehow things will work out, ill get assistance or something"... Kids require a lot more then what ur gonna get from wic.. They eat more then milk, cheese and cheerios. You have like a year (if you are gonna get pregnant soon) in front of you..Take advantage so that you can help out will bills or food. Dont you want to be independent and show your kids that although it was a struggle.. But you raised them to the best of your ability and that you actually tried..... Something is better than nothing at all.... Just think of it that way.....

Well, for your information...Number 1: I don't want children now, and you do....Great....I didn't say that you shouldn't want children...I said you should wait until you could afford to raise your own children instead of depending on other people. (and yes, government assistance is funded by other people so technically other people are paying to raise your child.) I don't know anything about your taxes. I wasn't talking about your other child! I was talking about the one you are trying to conceive and have the government pay for. Those are the taxes that you said would just be coming back to you, and I explained that they aren't! Yes, your "husband's" money is coming back to you, but on top of that you will be getting other people's tax money also. The theory that when you collect government assitance you are just getting your tax money back is a uneducated theory because that is not how it works.
Sorry that you thought you were going to post here and have everyone say, "yeah, go for it! Have another baby, maybe even 2 and let the tax payers pay for it!" you asked if you should have a baby and you are getting honest responses.
If you and your husband have everything all worked out as you have previously mentioned then why don't you wait until it is all worked out. Even if I did want kids now, I would know enough to wait until I could raise them without government assistance. I am mature and educated and respect myself enough to not take taxpayers money because I tried to get pregnant knowing I couldn't afford it.
And I do know how the "system" works. I know that the only way that your ex can claim your daughter is if he has custody. The person who pays child support cannot write that off, the person who has majority custody is the one who can claim the child on taxes. So, if your ex doesn't have custody and doesn't pay child support then all you have to do is take it to court and get the right to claim her on your taxes. And I am sure there is some way you can use taxpayer money to pay your attorney.
I am not and have not tried to be rude to you. I simply am stating my opinions based on my values. Not everyone has the same values as me and that is fine, but I would never ever in a million years get pregnant on purpose knowing that the government support my child. That is ignorant, immature and a very uneducated way of living in my opinion. I was raised better.
You don't need to get so defensive. Being defensive is a sign that you were proven wrong or that you don't have any valid argument against a person. Don't get upset. Try to explain without insulting and telling me to "shut my mouth" (also a sign that you have no valid argument) why you should get pregnant on purpose when you are not financially ready. Why when you don't have very long to wait for your husband to get health insurance that it is a better idea to get medical assistance from the government? Why, if he is almost out of college, you can't wait until he is? Why you can't get a job opposite his hours? Why you don't want to be independent and a good role model for you baby?(instead of raising the baby on government assistance when you had other and better options)

Hotasfrick- wow ur good hehe....

But yeah we're honest girls here.. If you ask us something.. We'll give it to you straight up. Its tough love here lol...We're not gonna tell you what you wanna hear if it isnt right. You asked us.. We answered in true honesty.. Sorry if we came off strong.. But personally for me its a touchy subject because I hate taxes.. I hate that 1/3 of my pay check that I earn goes to the government.. And then the money sometimes goes to people who should not be receiving it. Its a messed up system and a messed up world we live in... Hopefully everything turns out for your and your family....

Thanks! U too!Lol!
I agree very much so. I get so tired of hearing about new families and how hard it is for new families to make it, so they get the earned income credit, tax write offs and all of these bills in progress to give them special treatment. Yes, it is very hard when you are starting out, but just because you aren't married and don't have kids doesn't mean you shouldn't get any help, ya know? Don't get me wrong I wouldn't accept government assistance unless I was a mother and couldn't afford to feed my child or if I was on the verge of becoming homeless, but it angers me off! On top of the 1/3 of our paycheck going to people who make more money than me, but chose to have a family when they couldn't afford it, or to the people who just don't want to work so they can stay home with their kids (when they can't afford it) or the people who just want to collect disability for being lazy, they charge extra on my phone bill for people who cannot afford a phone! When I couldn't afford a phone I didn't have one! Plain and simple! And on the electric bill, check here if you want to add blank amount of dollars to your bill to help the people who can't pay theirs! Urgh, they are trying to make that mandatory also! Go out and get a job! Get a second job, or a third! That is what I have had to do since I was on my own at a very young age. I didn't decide to have a kid when I couldn't afford it, even if I did want to. I didn't apply for food stamps, I went and got an other job.
So, yes, it makes me very, very angry that I am taxed, charged extra and asked to donate money to people when I am the one working two or three jobs and can't make ends meet. It just isn't right.
And I wouldn't mind so much if it went to people who need it, but 99% of the time it doesn't. It goes to people who had kids on purpose when they knew they couldn't afford it, went on disability just because they are severly overweight (due to overeating and no excercise whatsoever), and others who just have a kid and decide to work the system. An old friend of mine (notice old) made more money than I did, had her own trailer, and since she had a son, collected energy assistance (free heat and help with her electric bill) and had the energy company come out and do a test (if you qualify, have a kid, they will give you new windows and doors if any air whatsoever blows into them!, hello, it's a trailer, the windows are going to have air coming in them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one ever bought me new windows! They will also give you new appliances if the are over 3 years old!!!!!!!!). And she didn't need it! It just makes me so mad! I can't talk about it anymore!Haha.

Im 20 years old and 21 weeks pregnant and have had a job since I was able to get one.. Because something came up in my pregnancy my doctor has stopped me from working.. Now I know im not rich.. But what about women who have reasons for not being able to work.. Definitely after my baby is born im going back to work.. But what about now.. Are tax payers gonna be mad because im unable to work... Im a tax payer myself...

Well, I told my parents and we told his parents our plans on having another child. We have located a really nice 3 bedroom apt for only $20 more a mo then the 2 bedroom we are in. We also have 3 bins of new baby clothes ( I buy them at the huge end of season clearances stores have....Carters and stuff for under 50 cents each) and a few bins of used clothes. We have bottles and other baby items as such. We are using our tax return to get my daughter a nice twin size bed and matching dresser and using the rest to get a stroller/carseat, my dad wants to buy a crib and matress, and his parents want to get a changing table and swing as soon as I get pregnant. I am going to get the ma to help cover all medical because I went to the doc to get a pre pregnancy exam and was told I may need a c-section if I have a baby cause I have a tilted uterus and my stbh insurance doesn't cover a very long hosptial stay. We will be getting wic but my dad said he'd help with some formula so any extra we would get we would give back or donate to someone who needs it. You know....The gov't assistance is there to help people. They don't ask questions they just help. All who write they are against it would take it in a heartbeat if they needed it for there child. All i'm saying is I want the best for my child. I want another now cause there is ovarian cancer in my family and if that happened to me I coukldn't have more. We will make it work.

Well then you made your decision... Not much more any of us can add......

Honestly...My mom had me at 18 and she got some help from her parents yeah..We used to live with them and such and when she went on her own..Dunno what age and moved in with my dads family she got that wic and welfare stuff for me..And it wasnt that my parents families wouldnt help take care of me..It was that they wanted my parents to learn responsibility and such..Oh well I dunno..But yeah I mean it helps alot of families and I was lucky to have a mom who cared enough for me to say she needed help and had to get all that wic and welfare stuff just to make sure i'd be happy and healthy.. Cos I mean we we're not rich people..And not everyone who sits on their ass all day who doesnt work is just doing it to be lazy..Some people actually cannot work, like my dad couldnt work because of some health issues that he has..And some people simply just dont make enough money to support their family on their own but that doesnt mean they can't have kids just cos they dont make enough money...Families with even the most amount of money dont have the best kids..Cos some grow up to be spolied and such..And kids who grow up not having alot tend to see and value things that are most important anyways, so yeah I dont see a problem with it if you are absolutely ready to have kids..Cos at the end of the day..Honestly none of us here is gonna be living ur life and actually know what its like so hey if ur ready for having another kid and u got a good soon to be husband who is willing to be there and support u and such then I dont see a problem with it at all

btw hope I made sense lol

I agree totally. I have a cousin who has so much money and has a kid but doesn't know at all how to take care of a baby, she buys it everything but basic care...She's clueless. I belive parents who don't have as much money are able to spend more time with there children ( especially stay at home moms) and those children learn important values. The world is about alot more than money!

Kiss me. No, I don't have a problem with people using government assistance. I have a problem with people who get pregnant on purpose when they know they can't afford it and then use assistance when it all could have been avoided.
But, the world is made up of all kinds and some people don't agree. That's fine. Someday, there will be stricter limits on these things and I for one can't wait!
But, good luck to everyone with whatever they decide!

Hotasfrick..I can see where your comming from so in that sense I guess i'm agreeing with you also..Its really hard cos most of the time I can see where most are comming from so I can see both sides of everything, like I can see how she wants to have children and such but I also can see how some people might not like that peple are getting pregnant on purpose just to have government funding...But I mean I know its early to say this cos hell i'm only 17 but those kids are gonna be the ones taking care of our generation when we get older, paying for our retirement funds and such, so I guess its like u gotta give alittle to get alittle I hope I dont get attacked for this or whatever lol just thats what I think

I'm not getting pregnant just to use the gov't assistance. Yeah...It will help but i'm trying cause I love my daughter and my fiancee and I want a child together. I may be a stay home moom but I take such good care of my little girl and she is so smart and I belive kids just do better being with there parents. I'm even thinking of homeschooling her cause she is so smart and I don't want her mixed up with the wrong crowd. I love my daughter and i'll love this baby and money don't change that!

Well, I wouldn't suggest homeschooling your daughter in grammar and spelling.

Unbreakable, I am not going to attack you! I am not attacking anyone. I see where you are coming from, but in my opinion, as far as the you have to give a little to get a little, we will be funding our own retirement. Actually, by the time I retire (i don't know about you) I am betting their wont even be social security and all of the money we all pay into it now will be gone. Once again, because of the people who collect it and don't need it, and the government spending our retirement security on other things instead of what it is collected for.
I don't doubt that this lady loves her kid and that she will love this one. But love isn't all you need. You also need parents who worked hard to take care of you and raise you right, and not parents who purposely conceived you knowing they couldn't support you financially.
Yes, ideally children would have a parent home with them in their first years rearing them, but I have more respect for the parent who will work to make sure their child has what they need, before the one who stays at home and collects welfare. No one is saying you and your husband both have to work the same shift and put your children in daycare. Their are several positions you could apply for that would be the opposite shift and therefore, one of you would always be with your child. But, as I said before, some people are selfish and will do what they want regardless of what is right. That is why are government is in such financial trouble to begin with, selfishness and laziness.

I never said that I couldn't support my children. I have already taken care of the child I have on my own and I plan to support my next child as well. So I want some formula to care for it! Not everyone is rich and I don't know where you live but where I am there are no good jobs. Every place is being closed down and jobs are being sent overseas. Even wal-mart isn't hiring. I do do childcare from my place and as I have said my fiancee is working as much as he can. Someday you'll learn that no matter how you would like life to go it doesn't always work that way. Not everyone is rich, not everyone has parents that will pay for everything they want and not everyone can land that perfect job! I come from a hard working middle class family that belives in spending time with their family not being at work 24/7 !