Well, my fiance and I are getting married
in may of this year. We have been
together for about 2 yrs now and really
want a baby. I have 1 little girl 4 yrs
old from a previous marriage and he
totally loves her as if she's his. The
thing is we don't have alot of money and
live in a 2 bedroom apt. We know we could
afford a 3 bedroom apt and there is a
program here that would give us 700 a mo
the first 3 mo of having a baby. I'm also
on ma so all my med bills would be paid
and wic would cover the formula. It just
seems a little off the wall to have
another and would love to get some
opinions on if i'm crazy or not! Also
would appreciate any advice on how life
changes from 1 kid to 2 cause I never want
to short my first born. Does the love
actually grow? I guess if we waited until
we had the money we would never have a
baby...So....
Anyway....Sorry so long and thanks in
advance for any advice you could give!
Tami
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xLove x Lostx
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 127 Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Posted: 03-24-05 00:00am
Umm..Yeah, didnt you already post this in
the teen pregnancy forum??
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mic0hell0e
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Dec 2004 Posts: 24
Posted: 03-24-05 15:18pm
I've seen this post like, 9 times already.
Maybe not 9.. More like, 3 or 4. Which
is still a whooooole lot.
Anyway, either way you're going to love
your child/children. Obviously you're
going to have to pay more attention to the
new baby, but you'll be able to watch your
children take the roles of siblings, and
watch their little ups and downs, it would
be interesting.
But, if you don't think you're financially
ready or anything like that, I would wait.
I mean, do you want to have a new baby
and then have a horribly stressed family
life because you can't afford it?
That wouldn't be too lovey dovey to me.
... Rambling.
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mandilyn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 158 Location: WI
Posted: 03-24-05 22:19pm
I'm sorry, but you are in no financial
position to bring another child into this
world! I realize you and your fiance
love each other and would like to have a
child together, but living off of state
aid is not the answer. If you're already
relying on ma, you can't even support
yourself. Government aid shouldn't be
abused so you can keep having kids and not
worry about health insurance, medical
bills, and formula! It's purpose is to
get you through a rough spot until you can
support yourself.
I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I see it
every day in my job and it's just really
sad. I'm sure you're a great mom, but
just wait. Set goals and start
small...It would just be that much more
rewarding for you. If this is what the
two of you want, then you need to make a
change in your life and get yourselves on
the right track. You can make it
happen!!
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-25-05 01:38am
Saying that if you wait until you can
afford it you will never have a child is
the oldest trick in the book. My parents
waited until they could afford to have us,
feed us, cloth us and insure us and low
and behold they had three.
Planning to have a child and collect
assistance is illegal isn't it? Or just
immoral?
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mandilyn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 158 Location: WI
Posted: 03-25-05 07:34am
Hey hotasfrick...I was hoping you'd
respond to this one as well. It's not
"illegal", they realize girls do this all
the time, but it should be. Plus, as you
said, it's just plain wrong. My parents
didn't have a lot of money when they had
me, but they didn't use ma or
anything...They made it through on their
own.
Tami - just wait...Don't you want a better
life for you and your family?? Chances
are high that if you're on ma, your kids
will be too at some point in their teens
or early twenties...It's an awful circle
that keeps going and going. You're
better than that, prove it to yourself and
to the child you already have - she needs
to know that that is not ok.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-25-05 16:43pm
Yes exactly. Do you want your children
to grow up with no ambition or self
respect? Do you want them to just go and
get pregnant in their teens and go on
welfare? Or do you want them to know
that both of their parents worked hard to
support them in every way possible and
grow up to do the same? I don't see why
that would be a hard decision. What is
so wrong with waiting a couple of years
while you save some money? You are still
young and disease free, so it isn't like
there is any reason at all to rush. As
you say, there may not be a perfect time
to have a baby, but there are wrong times
and this is one of them.
