I'm about 4 months pregnant and i'll be 19
soon. Yes, i'm a young mom, but the
father is a bit younger at 16, gonna be 17
in may. I know it's a bit young, but
everyone seems excited about the baby
except for one person....My boyfriend's
mother. She's gone to the point of having
him stay at home under her own house
arrest, won't let him see his own family,
cut off their phone service and took away
his cell phone, tried to take him out of a
special morning career schooling that we
go to together just so he can't see me.
He wants to be there for me and the baby,
and he wants to be a good father. We know
he's young and he can't do too much, but
at the rate this is going, his mother
won't even let him go to the hospital with
me to whitness the birth or to sign the
birth certificate. She also said if he's
with me when he turns 18 then he's failed
as a parent, when really my mother and I
agree she's already failed by smoking weed
around her 2-year-old and letting my
boyfriend know that he was an unwanted
mistake at an early age and let him grow
up brooding on it. Can anyone help me? I
miss my partner.
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-Jillian-
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 51 Location: Connecticut
Posted: 03-16-05 01:52am
I dont want to upset your or anything but
to be honest I dont think there is really
much that you can do. I can relate with
you on some things because my boyfriends
(childs father) mother constantly tells
him that she didnt want him and how she
wanted to get an abortion and right now
their actually in a custody battle where
the state wants to take all of her kids
and she already lost 5 of them and now
theres only my boyfriend and his sister
left and so every time dcf (department of
children and families) comes she tells her
kids that she dont want them and to get
out and that shes just going to let them
take them. And to me its stressful
because I dont know how a mother could
ever say that to her children, they dont
deserve it at all. But so I can relate
to a mother who has failed at least in
some ways. She also lets my boyfriend do
whatever he wants, and allows him to smoke
by buying him cigs. Anyways if the state
does take away my boyfriend they'd put him
into a foster home until he was 18 and if
that does happen he most likely will not
be allowed to go to anymore appointments
with me for the baby nor be there for the
dilvery or be in the babies life until hes
18 which is another 2 years. But enough
about me. Your boyfriend is 16, now I
dont know the laws out there but here in
connecticut when your 16 you can leave
your house and go live with someone else
so long that you go to school. Now I
dont know if your family is willing to
take him in or if hed want to do that, but
that is an option. As far as his mother,
its easy for me to sit here and say not to
worry about her, but honestly try not to.
Because in the end things will work out.
If anything you may have to wait until
hes 18 and is an adult to actually see his
child. Also another thing I think you
can do is when your child gets there bring
her to court and make sure that your
boyfriend gets visiting rights with his
baby since it is his. Those are only his
rights.
Good luck!
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Sherry_Wine
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 43 Location: Pennsylvania
Posted: 03-16-05 14:49pm
Yeah, I see what you're saying....And
really I won't mind if he lives with
someone else 'cause they would respect his
rights as my partner to see me and be
there for the baby and everything. With
his mother...She's not that bad with not
wanting him....Because she controls
him....She doesn't let him do anything.
He's not even allowed to see his own
grandparents or anyone from his own side
of the family. He's litteraly restricted
to the house without any outside contact
at all except for school.
As far as him staying here goes...No can
do. My room isn't big enough for me and
my baby but we have to make due....My
sister is coming up here after her baby is
born and is gonna live with her baby in
another bedroom....And my stepfather is
fixing up a room in the basement for him
and my mother to stay in. We have no room
at all.....2 to a room now, and this house
is small. I wish we could....But his mom
won't let him stay anywhere else and he
refuses to take her to court.
