I last tested in 2002 after ending a
relationship with someone I had had unsafe
sex with. It turned out I was negative.
Since then, I have had sex a few times
with a steady partner whom (and stupidly
so) my intuition told me strongly it was
safe to have sex with him. I later
worried about not using condoms. But I
also got to realize he was worrying about
having sex that was unprotected with me
because his intuition told him, I was safe
to mess around with.
We suspended sex for a long time to sort
out a few things individually. I still
feel uneasy about having unprotected sex
but what are the chances I cold be safe
after following my intuition which
normally never lets me down. Ofcourse I
can never make the mistake again.
Another question please....
Around the time I met him I had oral sex
(i as the giver) with two previous lovers.
I tend to date people without having
sexual intercourse with them.
I gave both of them oral sex just once on
different occassions and again from both
incidences, I developed like mouth ulcers
or oral warts. My mouth didnt quite
develop sore but my lips had dry sores,
got very flaky and started peeling just
days after these incidences. Later I got
a vaseline for my lips on the second
incidence and I cured. Could I have
contracted an std as these raections came
on like two days after. They dint last
long on both occassions.
I never swallowed any semen on both
occassions neither was it deep throtting
but I recently found out that one of these
men is an hiv carrier. He has no symptoms
yet but he is on arvs medication.
Am worrying everyday that I could have
contracted hiv from these three scenarios.
Its driving me nuts thinking about it.
I have kissed all the three men, including
an hiv infected person. I have no
bleeding gums and I tend to cross check if
I have any oral wounds before going to
meet anyone.
Somebody tell me what they think however
bad it maybe while I gather courage to do
a trial test.
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Finess150
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 191 Location: Kent, UK
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Response to Hiv Question Posted: 04-09-05 07:18am
The first thing to do is stop having
unprotected sex. If you have unprotected
sex enough times with a person with hiv,
you'll become infected eventually.
Oral sex carries a relatively low risk of
hiv transmission. Swallowing semen is
actually not very risky because the
stomach acids destroy hiv. However,
chapped lips and sores in the mouth will
increase the likelyhood of transmission
becuase the virus may be able to enter
your blood stream this way.
All I can really say to you is stop having
unprotected sex and oral sex. And then
get tested at least three months after the
last unprotected sexual episode.
Don't worry.
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dear7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 12 Location: Africa
No Sex Posted: 04-18-05 01:22am
Thank you.
I just one steady partner with whom I had
sex that unprotected because my
intuitional strongly and stupidly so
believed he was right to mess around with.
Its a pity I had to do it that way.
However we decided to cool off for a while
to sort out the emotional stress that
followed.
The other two gentlemen, I only saw them
occassional but before I started dating
steady partner seriously.
I have never had sex with any of them
although I performed oral sex on both of
them once, individually. I dint swallow
semen and have had no encounter with them
again although I still see them.
I happen to date people without sleeping
with them. These are such examples. Mine
is a real life example that love can exist
even without sex. Am kind of deeply
involved now with one of them who also is
very attached to me but we agreed no sex.
He has hiv and both of us are aware of it
and respectful of the situation.
My worry was I hope I dint catch the virus
on the two occassions of oral sex.
Am a bit worried about going for testing
just incase I unluckily picked the virus
through oral sex or the few times we have
kissed. I tend to be on the look out for
any visible sores in the mouth before I
visit.
I have kind of put off all
emotional-physical activity until I sort
out my anxiety issues.
Thnak you again
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Finess150
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 191 Location: Kent, UK
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Testing Posted: 04-18-05 05:09am
I can understand that testing is a very
daunting prospect, but I am quite sure
that it will be a negative result.
If it is positive, just remember that you
will recieve a lot of support from
councillors who will advise you. Also,
while the fear may begin as intense and
almost unbearable, this will quickly go
away and you will, quickly, learn to live
with it and not let it control your life.
However, as I say, i'm confident that
you'll be ok. And there's only one way to
find out
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Good Advise
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2005 Posts: 105
Stop! Posted: 04-30-05 06:52am
Ok, I admire your compassion for
relationships with hiv positive people.
Personally, I couldn't do it. I'm not
saying that you shouldn't or couldn't be
emotionally connected, but the risk of
having any type of sexual experience with
an hiv positive individual is not
rational.
Please don't go looking for the virus.
It will find you if you allow it. Make
sure you have protected sex all the time.
As far as symptoms and sores, it is never
an indicator of hiv. Only a confirmed
test.
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Finess150
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 191 Location: Kent, UK
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Hiv Relationship Posted: 04-30-05 07:24am
Whilst I can agree with good advise's
comments up to a point, it must be said
that serodiscordant relationships (where
one person is positive and the other
negative) can be conducted safely. If
sexual encounters are protected at all
times, with condoms, dental dams etc, the
risks are minimal - and they are risks
that people with strong emotional
attachments are often willing to take on.
I guess it's difficult to imagine unless
you are in that situation.
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Good Advise
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2005 Posts: 105
Posted: 04-30-05 10:23am
You're right fitness, but we kind of have
different approaches. I am responding to
exactly what the post indicated. The
post says and I quote:
"i happen to date people without sleeping
with them. These are such examples. Mine
is a real life example that love can exist
even without sex. Am kind of deeply
involved now with one of them who also is
very attached to me but we agreed no sex.
He has hiv and both of us are aware of it
and respectful of the situation.
My worry was I hope I dint catch the virus
on the two occassions of oral sex.
Am a bit worried about going for testing
just incase I unluckily picked the virus
through oral sex or the few times we have
kissed. I tend to be on the look out for
any visible sores in the mouth before I
visit."
this post is not worried about the
relationship. It can exist! However,
the person is living frightened. Now
it's to the point that she's worried about
going to get a test. To me, all of the
above is wrong. She's too young and has
not come to terms on the current
relationship. While the risks are
minimal, over-exposure to minimal only
increases your chances. Don't you agree!
What happens the moment she loses
herself at a let's say new year's party
and both are intoxicated. I could think
of 100 senarios.
I support people who are already involved.
Lovers, marriages, even parents with
kids to work around this. However, we
can't offer reasonable advise to a young
person who will continuously have to get
tested because the behavior is risky.
