So Weird, My Boyfriend...

No-one gave me advices, plz if you have some don't hesitate to give them to me. I cannot find a way to deal with him.
Please help me

Well think of it this way, when you have pms sometime you feel like crying and any luittle thing upsets you and then all of a sudden you are fine again. Its sounds like his bi-polar is like a constant pms. Some bi-polar people have long periods of dpressiona and other long periods of being happy. Then their are others that have short periods of changes like less than a day or even hours.

If you really love him just read on it and try to understand him, study his mood before you say anything even if it is joking and try to understand him. Don't take anything he says too seriouisly either.

Hope this helps in some way.

Thank you so much for your advice, i'll try to understand what u said very well, I didn't know that there are long periods of depression and hapiness, I was thinking that it's only the rapid mood swings. You gave me an important information, thank you.
Today my bf asked me to see me :) i'm so happy for that, I was thinking he forgot my love, but thanks god he still love me. But he told me that he cannot control his brain, and that he's so depressed and wants to suicide ... :( I tried to support him and to encourage him, but I don't know if this can help him or not.

Try to iunderstand him and not to judge him when he is in that suicidal stage. It's all part of being bi-polar. It's not that he does not love you or does not apreciate you enough in his life as for to live but the truth is that sometime the depression stage get so bad that you just don't want to live even if everything around him is going just fine. Remember that it is a chemical imbalance in his brain and that is not controlable by will power or love. I am sure that the more you understand his situation the more you can help him and the relationship will go just fine.

P.S. Do keep an open eye if he says he is suicidal. It's not just him talking s***. If he says it he probably feels it even though he may not even know why, and probably soon he will get over it and be happy again.

When dealing with someone who is bipolar you must first decide weather you love them enough to put up with all of their problems. Never and I mean never, should you put up with him if he becomes physically abusive. When he becomes irritated, give him some space. Sometimes the smallest little insignificant things can set me off....But I am never aggressive, it is unacceptable to be aggressive or abusive. Anyone who tells you they can't help but be aggressive is lying to you. If he says he wants to be alone, then let him be alone. And another big thing is to not take it personally....His problems have nothing to do with you. It is a chemical imbalance in his brain. When I get angry over something stupid, I pray and tell god about it and it seems to dissapear just as quick as it came on....My prayers are with you.....

Hi sharee,
I put your advices in my head, thank you . My boyfriend isn't abusive to me (thanks god) but he gets nervous quickly because of his depression, or because he wants to be alone and he doesn't get the chance. Anyway, he's so worried about the future, he just graduated from medicine and didn't work yet, so he's in an important phase in his life, waiting for the job. That makes him not ready for commitments I think and don't want to get help from anyone. Today he called me, was very nice but he told me, my love don't love me coz perhaps I can hurt you leaving you, coz he told me that he did it with his ex and he doesn't wanna to redo it again. I told him that I know that he doesn't wanna do it, and that he cannot do it ( trying to reassure him ). But u know I don't like hearing him talking about his ex. Now i'm missing him a lot and cannot call him. Praying that his mood stabilizes and being happy, coz me too wanna be happy.
I thank you so much.

Doesn't he take any medication for his depression? It is so easy to get rid of depression these days with all the new medications. They don't cause you to feel like you aren't yourself anymore. In the old days depression medicines were terrible, but these new ones do the job well, once you are taking the right one/ones.

Something I was thinking about while typing this is that, if you can, to the best of your ability, you should not be "waiting" for him while you are waiting for him. What I mean by that is that you should have friends, maybe volunteer for something that will help others. Are you depressed?

Just out of curiosity and to help me know how I might be encoraging to you, are you a christian? If not, what is your belief?

If that question is too personal, just ignore it. :)

Hello/
no he doesn't take any medications, he's worried about their side effects. About my beleif, I do beleive in god.
Now, I think he's trying his best to be happy, but has ofcourse many ups and downs.
The problem is that he doesn't wanna take any medications, and I have nothing to do with that, he doesn't wanna me to encourage him or even to open this subject with him. I tried once to tell him to go to the psychiatric, he gets so angry with me telling me that this is his problem not mine.

Yeah sharee, i'm trying to be busy with my work and studies while waiting him. Thanks god my mood is better than before, I was so depressed when he told me that he wanna leave me.... But now I understand that this is not him talking but his depression.

I liked so much your message to me, thank you so much for your care, u really helped me. I wish we can chat together.
My email is: mir ettebakir@hotmail.Com, it would be my pleasure if you add me on msn. N.B: it's the same for yahoo.

Marcias, I will see if my husband will add you to my yahoo messenger. Is that what you wanted me to do? My daughter set this computer up for me and I don't know much about how to do that, but he will know.

My boyfriend is good these days (thanks god) and he told me that he would better take a medication to be more stable, i'm happy for that, and I wish he could overcome every depression, he started to play sports.
But i'm still worried, he planned with me many things for the future, he was really good today. I'm dreaming of the day we will be married, pray for both of us please. Thank you.

I will sure be praying for you and your boyfriend.
I don't remember if I asked you if you are a christian. It would help me understand your situation and encourage you if I knew the answer to that.

Yesterday my boyfriend got the results of his exam, he got the highest scores in all subjects but one, he got 5 in one of them, coz he felt bored from the exam, unless he had to have 6 to be able to pass another exam which is the target for him. It was a catastrophic situation. Now he is in a very black wave as he call ( means deep depression ), he's isolating himself, but before isolation he talked with me on the net telling me that he's nothing, and all that he has is by chance, and he has a long road to reach his aims, and that he's so selfish coz he's keeping me with him while he's not ready for marriage, and he cannot keep my responsibility neither his responsibility.........Etc and he wanted to end up with me. I ended quickly the conversation telling him : stop talking like this, and I ran away as d/c.

Now i'm so worried about him, and in the same time I cannot call him.

And I don't know if he took it in serious ( breaking up with me ) or it's just because of his depression? I know he loves me, and he asked me before when he was in a good mood not to let him break up with me.


I went to a spychiatrist today and he told me that he wanna see my bf. I hope I can encourage him to go to him. But i'm not sure of anything, if he'll come back for me or not ........


I'm depressed.


Please pray for us.

And give me some advices.......


Thank you a lot.

To see exactly what is going on in my life going on with others. Thank you all for being here. I think I can maintain a relationship with my bipolar boyfriend - maybe - with the support and insight that I am getting here.

What did you do?

To me, this seems like mania- but if he is feeling depressed it is most likely rapid cycling. Is he bipolar i, ii, or cyclothymic? His quick to anger attitude is characteristic of mania more so than depression, which leads one to think that this isn't a classic case of just the blues.

He's bipolar ii, now he's in depression, called me saying that he wants to meet my father for engagement and suddenly after he told me that he wants to breakup, then he told me that he cheated me once and won't never repeat it again.

How and why bipolars can cheat?

Please help me, i'm shocked and don't know how to overcome this time.
Please try to encourage me to understand more his illness...

I know that he was in mania when he cheated one me, also I know that he did tell me so now coz he wants to feel guilty coz he's depressed...

But why did he cheat on me although he loves me? !

Thanks

It could be that he is a rapid cycler,or that he could be in mixed state.
The reason he cheated on you could be that he was in mania and felt that you wheren't good enough for him, and need some play. Us bipolar's when we are in a mania state we sometimes feel like we don't need anyone,or will go do risky things.

Thank you so much for your word, it really hepled me more to understand the situation. It has been a long time since he did it, and he promised me that he won't do it again. He even told me that he doesn't understand how did he do it :s. So I forgive :) but I need some prayers to make my life with him more relaxed, I think it's a little bit hard to deal with him. Wish me good luck please as I do for all of you :)

macias

Dear reader,
my name is cassie i'm a 19 year old mother to a little boy named ricky after his charming, selfish, compassionate, irresponsible 22 year old father. I have been with rick for two years and when I met him he told me he was bi-polar. Being young and dumb I wasn't sure what it was and hasn’t bothered to do any research until now where my concerns are very high. Rick hasn't been on any medication for almost 3 years and his moods just seem to be getting worse! There will be days when he loves me and says all of these beautiful wonderful things and within an instant he becomes violent and off the wall. He will yell scream throw things and even worse launch personal physical attacks on me. He is also very demanding when it comes to sex in some instances where even if I pull away and say no it makes him want me all the more. He can't deal with personal issues he runs from all problems because he can't talk out and deal with his issues. He is always fidgety and on edge and if you ask him what is wrong he snaps. When he is really off his rocker he will take of for days on end without even as much a whisper from him. Then when he comes back he talks about what a loser he is and what a low life he is and how he is worthless. It is just difficult to try and figure out what is going to happen next his one concern though is his guilt toward his son and I have tried telling him then help yourself but he still refuses. What makes it worse is that he self medicates with drugs he will do almost anything he can get his hands on. His whole life has been nothing but heartache and misery. From the age of ten his parents split and he was removed from his home by dhs for abuse and sexual molestation reason. He was supposedly molested by his father which in turned he turned around and molested his two younger sisters. When dhs put him into foster care his aunt and uncle took him in only to sue dhs for relaying false information about ricks sexual past which the case was never followed through. After that he was placed into the states care spending the next six years of his life in spring harbor, sweetser, jackson brooke institute and group home after group home. His parents never wrote to him spoke to him sent him anything or even visited him they basically abandon him. He has a hard time trusting anyone and is always on the defensive. There are times where he won't stop talking where he will open up and tell me everything. I have cried for him and have been hurt for him and I have been there for him as a crutch to only be taken advantage of and left unappreciated and miserable i'm so mentally and physically exhausted from the past two years I am giving up I don't want to constantly go on I need to do what is best for my son he is my main priority I want ricky to have a father figure he can be proud of one he can look up to and one he can model himself after I don't want him to grow up witnessing his fathers bizarre behavior and think that the way he acts and treats me is ok and does the same thing to women. I love rick with my whole heart and sole he was my first everything and I am at a loss of what to do next I have tried to get him help and when he is in his depressed mood he is all for it and then all to soon he goes manic and say no way! I can't help him anymore without him wanting to help himself. To him in his mind he is ok nothing is wrong and his behavior is totally acceptable. Please please please tell me that I can save him before he does harm to himself or worse my son. He needs to be forcefully taken in and made to take his medications or I do see him dying from all the constant drugs he does. He makes about 650.00 a week and has nothing to show for himself he is 22 no car bad credit no stable place to live and nothing of value. I support him myself and my son. He goes through money for drugs like crazy he always needs to feel high for he says it makes him feel level and it is starting to take effect on his body he looks weak, tired, thin, old, and discolored. When his money his gone and turns to me and blames me for spending it when I don't even so much as smoke a cigarette. I think he is crazy because he will come after me saying to give him back his money when I never receive any from him it is almost like he dreams it up in his mind!! What can I do??

Please respond a/s/a/p thank you
concerned girlfriend cassie

i am dealing with the same things as you my boyfriend took off in a manic state for three days and called me a 3 am while his son was sleeping and asked me to come get him and that he loved me and his son and when I asked him if he was nuts be called me names and hung up on me calling me worthless to calling back a 5am to loving me again you are not alone but for the next 18 years I am stuck with him even though I have told him to leave and have forced him to leave he still will no go away