I agree! You see we are a male-dominated
society and it is a darn shame that these
things that we do and do not do allow it
to stay that way.
It is believed by many still that women
should cook/clean and breed and please
their man in every way, and that is all.
This is just the same as it being believed
that men cannot help themselves. Yes,
they can! Any man or woman who uses
theory is just looking for an excuse.
And that is all that it is, an excuse.
It is not true, it is an excuse to be
weak. Especially, if you allow yourself
to accept his behavior. That is just
asking for it to be done to you again, or
for it to get worse.
I personally, don't think it is very noble
of your husband to tell you. Yeah, it is
good that you know now, but the thing is:
he didn't tell you that he got a hand job
from someone, and that he feels so sorry
and dirty and will never do it again. He
told you that he did, lied about getting
oral(eventually told the truth) and pretty
much told you that he is going to keep
doing it and it is just too bad if you
don't want him to. I have no respect for
him for telling you because he may as well
have ripped your heart out and stompted on
it and then told you he would do it again
because he is a man.
It does just depend on what you believe
and some people who have never known a
real man do think it is normal for a man
to cheat. Well, let me tell you it is
not! It isn't normal or right for anyone
to cheat! Women aren't suppose to be a
man's servant! (or vice versa!) these
were all theories made up by inferior
people with no real intelligence.
Everyone deserves someone who loves and
cherishes them and would never ever
disrespect them in any way. And everyone
can have it if they hold themselves
valuable enough to get it. If you let
your partner walk all over you and cheat
on you, he/she wont ever quit and you wont
ever be happy.
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Tamadrummer
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2004 Posts: 710 Location: Zephyrhills,Fl
Posted: 03-21-05 22:03pm
I forgot to mention, I do the majority of
the cooking, cleaning, laundry and as of
2-15-05 my wife is pregnant and since my
back surgery not being as perfect as we
had hoped, I will also be a stay at home
father.
I recovered after what I believed would be
the end of my entire life. (losing my
wife to another person after one night
flings) let me say, you will recover and
become a better person for it! Your
current spouse will suffer for your
strength if you do decide to leave! :) it
can only get better
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
a Real Man Posted: 03-21-05 22:07pm
Listen to this man please! This is what
a real man is and this is what you
deserve!
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whiteflag
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 18
Posted: 03-25-05 08:20am
Well I have spoken to her and she thinks
she needs to find a way for it to work
out. She's not jealous but she but is in
a way, she says.. She also can't afford
to leave him. They have one daughter aged
2.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-25-05 16:36pm
Jealousy has nothing to do with it. Your
husband is cheating. (we know you are
asking for yourself and not your friend.
This is the post where you said it was
your husband, not the other one where you
said it was your friends). He is
disrepecting you, risking bringing home
diseases to you and not being a man, but a
disgusting beast.
You can afford to leave him. He is at
fault, he cheated and admitted it, so in
the divorce he will be at fault. You can
most likely keep the house, the car, get
alimony and child support. You can
afford to leave him, and you definately
should. There is no way for it to work.
Unless you give up all self respect, risk
infecting yourself and just give in to a
complete ignorant being who doesn't
deserve to have a wife. I truly hope you
make the right choice. It is your choice
whether or not to stay with him, you don't
have to listen to me. But, don't make
excuses for him or yourself either. If
you let this go, it will just get worse
and you will end up miserable for the
rest of your life. And do you want your
daughter growing up like that? Do you
want her to grow up feeling that cheating
is normal and acceptable and ending up
marrying a man who will do the same to
her? Because that is usually what
happens when children are raised in
situations like this. Good luck to you.
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Miami2211
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005 Posts: 13 Location: AL
Oral to the Married Posted: 03-31-05 19:57pm
I'm not married and don;t think I will be
1. I don't want to get cheated on and if
cheating does occur, I will have to
retailate and cheat back on him I sorry I
would have to. Marriage is supposed to be
sacrit. I see nothing with giving yyour
husband oral sex or your wife. If you
don't do it someone else will. I have
plenty of married friends, they tell me
they have done somehting they didn't want
to just to keep their marriage. Some
say i'm a freak but anything my husband
want me to do i'm going to do for the
simply fact that I don't want someone
giving it to my husband.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 04-05-05 23:54pm
If your husband would cheat on you just
because you wouldn't do something that you
don't want to then you shouldn't be
married in the first place. Yes,
marriage is sacred for the few of us who
are left that actually believe that.
But, not all men or women will "get it
somewhere else" if they aren't getting
certain things from their spouse.
Marriage isn't just about sex and
fulfilling dirty and unhealthy fantasies.
If there is something that the other
doesn't want to do then that should be
respected. No one should do something
they aren't comfortable with, period.
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xLove x Lostx
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 127 Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Posted: 04-08-05 15:53pm
Recieving oral from someone other than
your significant other is cheating..No
offense, but this guy seems loser-ish to
me...His explanation is b.S. Are his
hands broken, and is that why he cant jack
himself off?? I dont think so, in this
case I think you should sit him down and
have a nice little conversation with your
husband..
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CandyApple
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-13-05 03:37am
If he disrespects you enough to have any
kind of sexual contact with any woman, in
any scenario, he isn't honoring his
marriage vows. It's easy to see that
when you're on the outside looking in, but
emotions cloud it when you're the one it's
happening to.
He was honest about cheating? So what.
That doesn't make him a good man, it just
makes him an honest cheater. Take your
red flags and run. Life is too short to
spend it with someone who will never love
you.
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CandyApple
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-13-05 03:38am
whiteflag
wrote:
well I have spoken to her
and she thinks she needs to find a way for
it to work out. She's not jealous but
she but is in a way, she says.. She also
can't afford to leave him. They have one
daughter aged
2.
even more reason to leave. The child
deserves better too. A trip to the
self-help desk at any court house will
give you the papers you need to file for
divorce for a very minimal fee. No
attorney needed.
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angelofthemorning2935
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 3 Location: Indiana
Not Cheating....are You Cray? Posted: 04-27-05 22:56pm
What your husband is doing to you is very
wrong. Yes it is cheating!!! If my
husband ever touched another woman or let
another woman touch him our marriage would
be over. I don't mean to be critical,
but there is no way he loves you.
Absolutely no way can u love someone and
touch someone else. You need to get out
now it will only get worse. If he did
this to you and kept if from you what else
is he doing behind your back?
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angelofthemorning2935
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 3 Location: Indiana
Re: Not Cheating....are You Cray? Posted: 04-27-05 22:59pm
angelofthemorning2935
wrote:
what your husband is doing
to you is very wrong. Yes it is
cheating!!! If my husband ever touched
another woman or let another woman touch
him our marriage would be over. I don't
mean to be critical, but there is no way
he loves you. Absolutely no way can u
love someone and touch someone else.
You need to get out now it will only get
worse. If he did this to you and kept
if from you what else is he doing behind
your back?
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toocute
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-28-05 21:48pm
Why is it ok by you that another woman or
man (?) looks at , touches your husbands
penis and gives your husband sexual
pleasure? How do you even look at him,
let alone sleep with him since he told you
this? Has your heart been broken so badly
in the past that you think this is the
best you deserve? This is totally not
normal for a healthy marriage. If you're
writing here for advice, I think you agree
with me. To h--- with his honesty, if he
cared for your heart, he would have
stopped after the first time and never
told you about it. About the
oral....There are other solutions to a man
getting the same feeling as oral without
you going down on him. People that really
love each other figure these things out
and are happy with their lovers. What an
outrage! Good luck to you!
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nex
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2005 Posts: 4
Posted: 05-01-05 17:26pm
I'll give you the most truthful guy point
of view on this:
first off, he was wrong completely in
getting off from someone elses hand's
without your permission. He's blaming
you, and that's wrong. He made the
decision, not you.
I'd say, he's probably not a real high
quality guy. The mistakes themselves are
less the problem than his justification
for them. He's not being honest if he's
blaming it on you.
He does have a point though. If you're
really not into giving him head, or even
jerking him off, then the tendency is to
start looking elsewhere. Every guy loves
vagina, but vagina comes with a whole slew
of problems for most guys, including
performance anxiety. To have a woman that
desires her man's sexual pleasure is to
have a true gift. Seriously. If you
fulfill him, he'll never need to look
elsewhere. You've given yourself, and,
sexually speaking, the ball's in entirely
his court when it comes down to
"cheating."
find yourself a better man and please him.
He'll never even want another woman.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 05-02-05 04:25am
His actions and blaming them on her are
equal if anything. Him blaming it on her
isn't worse than his action in itself.
And if she doesn't like to give head or
hand jobs then that is her perogative and
if he was a real man, he would learn to
live with that. If he was a real man who
could please his woman then he wouldn't
need to have performance anxiety about
having sex, and if he loved her then
whatever forms of sex she was comfortable
with would be enough.
If he needs to look elsewhere, it isn't
because she isn't pleasing him, it is
because he does not value her or probably
women in general. Saying that if she
would do things to him that she didn't
want to just to "please" him would make
him not cheat is complete bull.
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thunder_bunny
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 May 2005 Posts: 41 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 05-02-05 17:29pm
Someone made a comment that 95% of men do
this sort of thing and I would like to say
that you have a very low opinion of men if
that is what you believe.
Now, what is and isn't considered cheating
depends on your and your husband. Every
couple has a different idea about this and
it's definitely something you should
discuss before getting married.
And yes, it's a good thing that he told
you, but does that make it okay? And why
did he feel a need to confess what he was
doing if he didn't consider it wrong or
cheating? How would he feel if you
started getting pleasured by other men?
He shouldn't feel upset about this, it's
not cheating.. Right?
To me, this is cheating. And I imagine
he is probably getting more than handjobs
and oral sex from these women. Also, how
on earth does he know they're safe???
Does he carry an aides test with him
whever he goes? I would seriously
consider getting tested for stds. What
your husband is doing shows a lack of
respect for you and your health.
