I my self have never been on a date and
have never been kissed. I don't know if
it is just that I am too shy. Or that
guys just don't like me. I am different.
I am a big girl but I just am too shy
and don't think guys like me. I don't
know. Someone please help me figure out
what is wrong.
*susie :?: :? :?:
|
grantmilo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Washington
Posted: 03-23-05 05:15am
Same here, dittos. I know what my
problem is though, i'm just too shy. But
it's different for guys and girls.
Usually girls can get away with being shy
because shyness is actually kind of
feminine. In this society the men are
supposed to be the initiators, the
aggressors, the pursuers. Women usually
just sit pretty like a mannequin in the
window and wait for a guy to sweep her off
her feet. So being shy doesn't usually
prevent women from getting dates, unless
it prevents her from responding at all to
the guys.
I really hate to say this, but if u
honestly want to know what is wrong, i'm
guessing it's probably your appearance :(
it's unfortunate that men place so much
stock in physical attributes. But hey,
if I can overcome shyness, then anything
is possible! You just have to not give
urself the option of giving up. That's
what i'm doing, and it's about time.
|
madhornet
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Apr 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Hertfordshire, England
Posted: 04-13-05 15:57pm
A lot of men concentrate a lot on
looks/appearance but myself i'm not one of
them. It just seems there are too many
women who keep falling for the jerk
boyfriends all the time and often more
than once. For someone shy like me it's
hard to go and talk to a woman just like
that.
Invariably this creates the dilemma that I
don't go up to the women and speak to her
and the woman doesn't come up to speak to
me. Don't know if it's fear of rejection,
shyness or a combination.
It just seems there are very few men or
women about who don't play these endless
and pointless mind games and those few
decent men or women that do exist are
often taken so early on it means anyone
like me (i'm nearly 29 and have always
been single and any dates i've had have
been total disasters where i've been
messed around) is only left to find women
who treat me like rubbish.
Oh to find a nice girlfriend who i'd like
to spend the rest of my life with...
Wishful thinking unfortunately...
|
madhornet
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Apr 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Hertfordshire, England
Posted: 04-13-05 15:58pm
A lot of men concentrate a lot on
looks/appearance but myself i'm not one of
them. It just seems there are too many
women who keep falling for the jerk
boyfriends all the time and often more
than once. For someone shy like me it's
hard to go and talk to a woman just like
that.
Invariably this creates the dilemma that I
don't go up to the women and speak to her
and the woman doesn't come up to speak to
me. Don't know if it's fear of rejection,
shyness or a combination.
It just seems there are very few men or
women about who don't play these endless
and pointless mind games and those few
decent men or women that do exist are
often taken so early on it means anyone
like me (i'm nearly 29 and have always
been single and any dates i've had have
been total disasters where i've been
messed around) is only left to find women
who treat me like rubbish.
Oh to find a nice girlfriend who i'd like
to spend the rest of my life with...
Wishful thinking unfortunately...
|
bittersweet
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Canada
Posted: 04-16-05 19:01pm
Hey I am in the exact same situation. Im
21...Never had a bf, never had a guy
seriously interested in me..Nada. Its
daammnn depressing. I don't know what to
do either.
I am just one of those people who is
embarssed in romantic situations. Also I
am tall (5'10) and a bit
overweight...Ruling out about half the
male population cos no guys wants to be
with a girl who is bigger than him.
It is really depressing..And I know how u
feel. Msg me sometime..Maybe we can talk
about it. I dont feel like I can talk
about it with any of my friends...They
have no problems.
:oops:
|
bittersweet
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Canada
Posted: 04-16-05 19:02pm
Hey I am in the exact same situation. Im
21...Never had a bf, never had a guy
seriously interested in me..Nada. Its
daammnn depressing. I don't know what to
do either.
I am just one of those people who is
embarssed in romantic situations. Also I
am tall (5'10) and a bit
overweight...Ruling out about half the
male population cos no guys wants to be
with a girl who is bigger than him.
It is really depressing..And I know how u
feel. Msg me sometime..Maybe we can talk
about it. I dont feel like I can talk
about it with any of my friends...They
have no problems.
:oops:
hey I am in the exact same
situation. Im 21...Never had a bf, never
had a guy seriously interested in
me..Nada. Its daammnn depressing. I
don't know what to do either.
I am just one of those people who is
embarssed in romantic situations. Also I
am tall (5'10) and a bit
overweight...Ruling out about half the
male population cos no guys wants to be
with a girl who is bigger than him.
It is really depressing..And I know how u
feel. Msg me sometime..Maybe we can talk
about it. I dont feel like I can talk
about it with any of my friends...They
have no problems.
:oops:
well,i have never had a
girlfriend,lol,maybe there are a lot of
reasons...
I am overweight a lot and trying to lose
weight.I reckon that if I get rid of
fatness,things will turn to be better.
To be honest,you are not too
tall,therefore,if only you lost some
weight,you won't be bigger than guys.
|
happy_sunshine_yan
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 94 Location: Burnaby, BC, Canada
Posted: 05-08-05 23:26pm
I've never had a b/f... I'm shy..
Mabbe.. I'm short & small.. So no
one takes notice of me =( ... I'm not
overweight though... Other than the
shyness.. I'm not sure what it is..
i've never had a b/f...
I'm shy.. Mabbe.. I'm short &
small.. So no one takes notice of me =(
... I'm not overweight though... Other
than the shyness.. I'm not sure what it
is..
maybe your problem is similar with
me,ie,overweight.I am nearly 200 bls
whilie I am just 6feet.I am trying to lose
weight
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Posted: 05-20-05 13:35pm
Ladies,
men are shallow, but that can be
overcome! Looks are the first thing we
see (obviously) but we can we won over by
your charm, persona, wit, sense of humor,
common intrests, or common sexual
appetite. If you need that leap, ask to
go to out just as friends (and then put on
the charm).
Just for curriosity sake, can you
ladies send me a pix for reference.
Maybe I can suggest some styling or
clothing tips.
Last edited by JasenG on 02-09-06 12:29pm; edited 1 time in total
|
Indy05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 1
Shallow?! Posted: 06-02-05 23:05pm
Man I wish guys were shallow! I was
voted most attractive and it was not until
my senior yr. I was actually asked to a
dance. I guess it's one of those flukes
because no one can control when and when
they don't find someone, but man I wish I
could! Especially when everyone you used
to relate to is hooking up!!
|
sevenedge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Greenville, NC
7 Posted: 06-03-05 08:55am
Surgar coat it anyway you like. Obesity
makes a big difference. Men are kinda
shallow I guess sometimes. If a girl is
kinda un attractive, with a good body she
can have a better chance in relationships.
If obese, then a prettier face can help.
If big and unattractive, get into church
and hope for a truely descent fellow
maybe.
Its sad, but men marry a woman they are
attracted to and learn to love them.
Women tend to marry for love and learn to
be attracted.
I hate putting it like this, but I was a
low self esteemed overweight guy most my
life. I alway felt depressed and tended
to go years with no dates. I lost
weight, built some confidence, and most
importantly, I learned to be truley happy
with no one. Then I met someone I
couldnt even shue away. We got married
and have 2 kids. Now guess what. She
is now overweight but it doesnt matter.
I love her. Anyway, that is my thoughts.
Good luck.,,,,7
|
basketcase
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 3 Location: kentucky
Posted: 06-28-05 16:00pm
I really dont think obesity has anything
to do with it. Ive seen lots of fat
chicks who got a man and vice versa.
I guess im pretty much in the same boat.
24 never had a girlfriend, never been on a
date. I guess I just appear to be shallow
or have a lack of personality, I dont
know.
I think I have learned that the longer you
wait or let it go, the harder it gets to
talk to anyone,
|
Hightension24
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2005 Posts: 65 Location: Houston
Posted: 08-09-05 08:40am
Women are just as shallow as men. Women
are just more shallow about money, status,
etc... When I was playing baseball at u
of h and still kinda workin at a&f I
loved life, now that i'm at a community
college with my grandmother's car(totalled
mine drinking) i'm realizing how much it
sucks. Yes, if you are overweight, you
are less likely to have tons of guys walk
up to you so you have to make youself more
outgoing. Join a gym(can't stress that
enough) and you will feel and look better,
therefore, attract more people. So just
walk up to someone and say what's up, are
you single? Or say, if you didn't have a
boyfriend/girlfriend i'd say we should go
get a drink. It works 50 percent of the
time. By the way, everyone is shallow to
an extent. The girl I just started
talking to rolled her eyes when she
realized i'm 24 at a comm college and
living with my grandmother, hahahahaha.
Rock & roll!
|
Webexplorer83
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2005 Posts: 14
Posted: 08-10-05 00:28am
Not all men are shallow. Not all women
are gold diggers.
The problem, I think, is possibly weight
coupled with the shyness. We all notice
appearance first, so obviously being a
bombshell is a plus. But failing that, a
great personality goes a long way. If
you're too reserved to open up what does
the guy have to go on? Absolutely
nothing.
Being a shy person myself, I know how
difficult it can be to shed the fear and
anxiety. It ain't so easy to shed those
extra pounds, either. But both can be
done. Not through crash dieting or
frantic workouts, but a healthy balance
between the two. Lose weight and you'll
feel more confident in yourself and you
won't be quite so shy. Not to mention
it's just plain healthy and you'll be
doing your overtaxed heart a huge favor.
I'm not saying shirnk down into a
rail-thin model-esque physique, mind you.
But try to meet the optimal weight for
your height.
|
Atropos
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 16 Location: California
Posted: 08-15-05 18:53pm
I'm in the same situation, and I know a
few other girls who are, too. It could
be that guys don't see you as a potential
gf or something. Or it could be the
looks. Either way, as long as /you/ like
yourself, it shouldn't matter how many
guys do. Pm me if you want.
|
Eternal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 38
Posted: 09-16-05 18:01pm
I have been single all my life and not
come close to a relationship, which is not
ideal for my self esteem when all my
friends are/have at least been in
relationships :roll: looks will always
play some part, in the initial attraction,
although love is individual to each
person, and can see individual beauty
where others may not. Personally, I don't
know if i'm a rare type of man saying
this, but I find few women attractive,
maybe many pretty, but not attractive, but
I wouldn't particularly want to consider
any kind of relationship with them any
more than with anyone else I didn't know.
Not to mean I wouldn't be attracted, but
in the grand scheme of things, that
doesn't count for much. However, it can
play an important part, not only in how
others see you, but the way you see
yourself can affect your relationships
with others, and often low self esteem
will hinder chances of relationships (in
my experience). I still look like a 14-15
year old kid which probably has something
to do with me being far from attractive..
|
Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Attitude Makes the Difference Posted: 10-14-05 04:23am
I dont think that looks or weight keeps a
person single. There is someone for
every one. Shyness can be overcome.
Many people are shy when they first meet
someone. I believe that dating is a
numbers game. The more people you meet
the higher the odds of hooking up with
someone. The more people you date the
higher the odds of finding someone
special. No one should settle for someone
out of desperation.
I think for people who are shy, one way
to meet alot of people is to try an online
dating service. Many people are doing
that these days, there should be no shame
in trying it.
Most importantly just focus on meeting
new people and create friendships and have
fun!
|
Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Attitude Makes the Difference Posted: 10-14-05 04:23am
I dont think that looks or weight keeps a
person single. There is someone for
every one. Shyness can be overcome.
Many people are shy when they first meet
someone. I believe that dating is a
numbers game. The more people you meet
the higher the odds of hooking up with
someone. The more people you date the
higher the odds of finding someone
special. No one should settle for someone
out of desperation.
I think for people who are shy, one way
to meet alot of people is to try an online
dating service. Many people are doing
that these days, there should be no shame
in trying it.
Most importantly just focus on meeting
new people and create friendships and have
fun!
|
princessdiana7586
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2005 Posts: 49
Posted: 12-07-05 15:32pm
I'm short (5'2) and weigh about 160ish. I
used to think (and sometimes still do)
that i'm "fat". But beauty is in the eye
of the beholder. I have big hips, and a
big bust, but not improportionate. The
key to feeling better about yourself if
you are or even think your fat is to dress
better. Wearing clothes that flatter your
body shape really makes you look skinnier,
and you will feel better about yourself
too. I was blessed with a wonderful
boyfriend who tells me i'm beautiful
constantly and loves everything about me.
I've never felt more comfortable being
naked around someone in my life!
