Okay, I hope this will make sense to
y'all. My little sister is 15, and has
been getting in quite a bit of trouble
with my parents lately. They found a
used condom in her room, but she keeps
saying it was a friends, not hers. My
mom mentioned to me that they are taking
her to the gyno this week to see if she
has had sex. I am confused....Maybe this
is a stupid question, but how can they
tell that for sure? I mean I know they
could look for a torn hymen, but that
could happen from tons of things, not just
sex. And what about doctor/patient
privelage? Would my parents really be
able to talk to the doctor and find out?
Or I guess maybe because she is not
18....Sorry if this was a confusing post,
i'm just curious. Thanks for any
opinions!!
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-27-05 19:48pm
Actually at 15, I don't think the doctor
can tell your parents that information,
but I am not sure.
As far as they hymen not being there, that
does not mean she isn't a virgin! The
more active you are as a child, the less
chance there is that you will have a hymen
by 15. Mine was gone by the time I had
sex, along with many, many other girls.
If your parents even try to hold that
against her they are nuts. (no offense)
but that doesn't mean anything and they
are being pretty ignorant. I can see if
they want her to get her pap test, go on
birth control or get std screening just
for her safety, but to take her to a gyno
to see if she is a virgin? That's just
silly.
|
SpideyGirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 68
Posted: 03-27-05 19:55pm
I what my parents are doing does seem
extreme! I thought so too, but don't
really know what to say. I am 19, about
to be 20, and was a fairly good kid
growing up. I was pretty sheltered, and
attended a private school the whole time,
so I was really naive about a lot of stuff
til I was in high school. Me and my sis
are total opposites, and my parents are
just a little freaked and don't know how
to handle it. She is going through a big
rebellion time....They've tried grounding
her and all that, she just doesnt really
care. I've tried talking to her and
getting her to be careful, and so has my
boyfriend of 4 years ( who was a lot like
her at that age) but she wont listen.
Shes really a smart girl, maybe she'll get
the hint here soon. Thanks for the
reply, and I totally agree with what you
said. I was thinking that by that age
she should have privacy with the doc, but
I wasnt sure. And surely they would know
better than to think she's had sex just
cause her hymen is broken, but if not then
I will definately talk to them. Thanks
again!
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-27-05 23:20pm
Your welcome. Hopefully if for some
reason the doc wont give her privacy,
she/he will me intelligent enough to
explain to your parents that an absense of
a hymen means nothing. And hopefully she
will stop rebelling, or atleast decide to
be safe with sex (if she is having it).
Maybe print some things off of the
internet about different std's, how easy
they are to get and how you can even get
them with condoms, etc. Maybe some of it
will scare her and she will be safe.
|
Justin_Toronto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Posts: 418 Location: Toronto, ON
Posted: 03-28-05 12:41pm
Yep, it's not possible to tell 100%.
Hymen breaks often for girls who
participate in activities such as mountain
bike riding, or horseback riding.
They would really not be able to tell.
But ya can't blame them for trying..
Parents are concerned, they're scared,
they want to know the truth. Parents
will be parents, and until she is an adult
she will have to follow their rules.
That's life. She has to deal with it, I
had to deal with it. It's a part of
growing up.
|
SpideyGirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 68
Posted: 03-28-05 21:39pm
Thanks again for the replies. Hopefully
things will calm down at home...I worry
when i'm at school, but I know things will
work out one way or the other. I know
they are just worried, and maybe after
this my sis will realize that my parents
just want to be a part of her life, and
she'll start to keep them posted on whats
going on. Thanks.
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 04-06-05 00:11am
They can't force her to even have the exam
though. She is 15, so she is at an age
to refuse. Make sure she knows that. I
understand they are concerned, but they
are being ridiculous. Even if there was
a way for them to know that she has had
sex, what are they really going to do
about it? They can't force her to go on
birth control or use condoms or not to
have sex. Unless they lock her in her
room for the rest of her life, and even
then I am sure she would escape! I hope
things have calmed down for you.
|
SpideyGirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 68
Posted: 04-06-05 09:16am
Hey, thought I would give an update since
I saw that other reply from hotasfrick.
My sister finally admitted to my parents
that she has sex (which I think is all
they wanted, for her to be honest) so
she's not having to go anymore. My mom
may talk to her about going to the gyno
anyways, just to get checked out. Things
seemed to have calmed down a little,
although since i've been here at school
i'm not really sure. I'm going home
tomorrow for a long weekend, and hopefully
things will be alright! Thanks for the
replies and concern!
