Need Advice W/ Family Problems Posted: 03-28-05 20:18pm
I live w/ my grandparents right now but my
mom wants me to go live w/ her I dont want
to hurt her by not going but when I go to
vist her and my brother and sisters it
makes me not want to be there
she is always drinking and fighting w/ one
of my sisters and they never have any
money cuz she goes and spends it on her
booze
and everyday when she gets home from work
her and her boyfriend go out and party and
dont come home untill the next day its so
fustrating
she says things are better and she is
going to get help but I dont know if I
beleive her because she has said it befor
somtimes I even wonder if she cares I
just found out that I was pregnant and I
wonder if that is just going to make it
worse cuz I am only 14
i need some advice and thats why I signed
up for this
thank you to
those who have advice for me cuz thats all
I need right now.
Jacky
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SixteenAndScared917
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005 Posts: 10
Hey Posted: 03-28-05 20:28pm
Hey jacky, my name's kate.. Well your
name came under both postings, one about
being pregnant, and one about family
issues, all I can say is, if ur pregnant,
and even if ur not, u need to do whats
best for u and ur possible baby, if u
strongyl feel that living with ur mom
isn't the situation u want to be in, then
don't be there. Sure it's going to be
tough, but in the end, u'll be glad u made
the decision thats suits u best, good luck
, and if u need someone to talk to , just
e-mail me sixteenandscared917@yahoo.Com
*kate
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twentyone
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 61 Location: uk
Posted: 03-30-05 07:46am
Hi jackie my name is elaine. Listen I
understand that you are in a awkward
position! But look after number 1. How
does your gparents feel about you being
preg or do they know? I think if your mum
has promised before that things will be
diff and they havent, well I dont think
they will, thats a real strong statement
to make seeing I dont know you or your
mum. I believe that you should stay as
you are. Especially if you are pregnant
as it isnt really a good environment for
your baby to grow up in. I hope ive
helped you chick!
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babyJacky
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-30-05 21:27pm
Thank you for your adivice but I went to
the doctors w/ my boyfriend and thank god
im not pregnant!! :d
I still dont know
that moving w/ my mom is the best
situation but I am now considering it more
I mean I dont want to hurt her
it doesnt feel good when you hurt your mom
you know
idk if I want to leave I love my man and
I dont if I could leave him but its a hard
p;ace to be you know between your mom
and you bestfriend.
Well thanx for your advice you dont
know how much it means to me
jacky
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twentyone
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 61 Location: uk
Posted: 04-01-05 03:09am
Hi jacky.... Im glad your not preg!
Personally I dont think that whether you
upset your mum is the most important thing
just now. You need to think where your
gona be comfortable and have a better
life. Really life is too short to spend
it miserable. Its entirly up to you and
your decision it must be hard to choose
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mellymel78
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2005 Posts: 44 Location: SLC UT
Posted: 04-01-05 04:02am
Hi jacky, my name is mindy
i think the decision is really up to you,
but you shouls really sit down and think
about a few things...
Are you happy where you are now?
How sure are you things wont revert back
to the same old if you moved back in with
your mom?
I understand you are only 14 and I am
happy you are not pregnant, but if you are
going to be unhappy living with her, just
be honets with her...Maybe that will be an
eye opener for her, maybe then she'll
realize there are things more important
then booze...
My mom and I never really got along, she
has been begging me to move back in with
her for the last 8 years and I refuse. It
hurts her sometimes, but I dont know the
real reason she wants me back...If she
just needs some one to clean her house,
help her with bills and groceries...Blah
blah blah...
Jacky, you do whats best for you, and if
she feels bad, then she feels bad, she
will learn to understand that you are
allowed to make your own decisions. And
it may sound mean, but you dont need to be
around the kind of behavior. Me, my
brother and my siter all were...I left and
changed my life, my brother and sister are
both drinkers, they smoke pot, they have
been in jail more then once....
Anyway, good luck to you...I hope it all
works out for you
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Grashoper
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2005 Posts: 14 Location: Denver, CO
Much Higher Risk... Posted: 04-01-05 05:31am
Jackie,
kids who grow up in alcoholic households
are at at much higher risk of becomming
alcoholics themselfs. From the sounds of
it mom isn't going to change anytime soon
sadly and you have to take care of
yourself and your baby.
When/if mom enters recovery she will begin
to understand in time the results of her
actions, addiction.
Then, you also need to make sure grandma
and grandpa are ok with the situation.
They will have an adjustment perioud as
well but hopefully in time you will be
able to lean on them as you are young and
will most likely need the help.
Keep you and your baby first...Then
everyone else in order!!
Take care and make sure you keep in close
contact with your doctor. Serious
complications can come up do to your age.
Above all know you will be ok!
Take care
mike
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daadycool
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Switzerland
Hi There, Babyjack Posted: 04-05-05 15:44pm
Welcome to the forum, I am also a
newcomer. I'd like to recommend you
reading the book "it will never happen to
me" by claudia black. It has great
advices for a situation like yours. It
helped me a lot. My situation was very
similar as a child. :roll:
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deese78
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Apr 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Maine
Posted: 04-07-05 12:38pm
Jacky, you say you don't want to hurt your
mom, which of course you don't, but do you
really want to hurt yourself? Because you
will be hurting yourself & your future
if you move in with her. Mom's house
sounds like a bad situation for everyone
involved! You should be worrying about
school and sports and things like that,
you move back in with your mom &
you'll end up worrying if mom's going to
spend the grocery money at the bar or when
she'll come home & what kind of
condition she'll be in when she gets
there! You deserve better. Don't think
about hurting her, think about how much
she would hurt you if you moved in with
her. Make this decision for yourself and
stick with it, don't let her make you feel
guilty.
