28 Year Old Virgin - Help

Well I wish to thank you guys for responding.

I'm 29 and nothing has change simply because I didn't get time to properly socialize with people because I have to run my company and a lot of other things and it's very stressful and time consuming.

But, i've decided if I don't find anyone by my 30th birthday, I will spend 3 days in las vegas at a luxury hotel in their penthouse suite, get some nice food, drinks and invite a very nice looking and clean professional to help me with my problem.

You see I really hoped that I wouldn't have to do this, but i'm getting more and more discouraged. Here's why:

everytime i'm in a company of friends, women and there's talk about sex and when someone mentions having sex with a virgin (for example the whole talk gets initiated when we start talking about 40yr old virgin movie). Almost every time girls react the same. They just wouldn't have sex with someone who doesn't know how to do it right. Of course people don't know that I am a virgin and i'm always dissapointed. I'm yet to meet a girl that doesn't care about that that much and doesn't care for being a teacher for while.

Not to mention the fact that if I told some girl that I am a virgin, they would most definitely look at me as some kind a psychological case.
I don't think that in today's society I would have time to explain why and how this came to be in my case. I would in 90% cases been ridiculed behind my back, because they would hide their reaction.

I mean, at 29, it looks freaky if a guy approaches girl and is not 100% ready to get into "sack".

I don't know maybe i'm socializing with wrong people, but it's very tough to make a change in my lifestyle and change my friends.

Thanks again for kind responses.

Hello,

i wanted to reply to this post because i'm in the same boat.

I'm 28, a virgin, thin as a toothpick, and insecure about my size.

To make matters worse I am going bald and my financial situation is crap.

So I figured what my solution would be is to:

a. Become financially stable by finding some avenue of interest that would be fun and profitable that every dog and his brother isn't already doing.

B. Using my funds to get a gym membership and utilize effective methods to grow my hair and my thing.

C. Start to enjoy life beacause I will now be a healthy, wealthy individual.

I know that these accomplishments will make me feel better about myself and dramatically improve my self esteem. I feel like every aspect of my life will improve greatly just for changing these few circumstances.

I have chosen to ignore the opinions and concerns of my family and friends because I think they should worry about themselves. I know they care about me and want me to be happy but these personal details about my life aren't easy to discuss with them. People feel sorry for me enough as it is.

I know what I want for myself and it makes me happy to know that I will get there someday.

All the best!

Their is nothing wrong with waiting as it can be very spooky out there with all of the std's, when the time is right you will know. If you feel overweight then go to a gym, plus it is a nice place to meet people.
The very best to you!

First of all, i'm a woman. Please get real and deal with who you are and what you want. I read your post and I dont even believe that you are a virgin. You gave any indication that you are using this as a dating service. Go to las vegas have a great time... Life is too short.. Just like ur dick.

What a edit



dont listen to her dude.

Hello again,

i wanted to say that I disagree about the money thing. First of all I wasn't implying that I would use it to attract women directly, just start by fixing the few things that would make me feel better about myself.

A few things I wanted to point out.

1. Don't let the cosmopolitan society and bar scene convince you that the bad boy image is the way to go - most of them are just as insecure with themselves in their own way and often attract women who are insecure with themselves as well.

2. What I believe to be important in life is to learn from your mistakes and be proud of your accomplishments. You say that you've achieved things only 15-20% of people have achieved? Great! At 29 years old that's awesome, at least be happy about that.

3. Tell your friends that you're a virgin. Doing this will show a lot of trust and your honesty will be appreciated. If they laugh and ridicule you for it then they are not your friends.

Not to sound like an "after school special" but it's time to move on from your past and look forward to the future. Be a little more positive in your daily activities and don't feed off the ignorance of others and the couple of people in this post. It's not too late to make a difference.

Well folks, read with gusto and clarity of vision the reply! Yes, my wife was a tad hard on the fella, because his letter (post) clearly indicated he was a fraud. You know there are such on the internet, do you not? I didn't agree so much with the last line about the (dick) but it was so funny and apropos if dude is a fraud, and by his reply to a slight barb, we now know his attitude towards women and his threshold of fairly dangerous anger. Just read the last line... Where did the kind, innocent, rather geeky virgin go? To be replaced by a vicious anger and a rotten attitude toward women? No wonder this guy has problems. And for all you decent people who try to help, god bless you for your caring but watch out for the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Guyphx: ignore them.

Braindead human couple: go away, your not welcome here.

Guyphx,

i am a 40 year old virgin, so I really know how you feel. I have many of the same issues you do, including the smallness factor. Unlike you, I measure in at 4.5" erect, so I have it even worse :)

i have suffered from depression most of my adult life, and am currently on meds for this (which aren't helping much). I have no self-confidence whatsoever, and I am completely convinced that I could never have any kind of relationship with a woman due to my size.



Perhaps these fears are irrational, but I just can't imagine that very many women would find a 40 year old virgin with a small dick all that great of a catch. At 28, I think you've still got time to turn things around - don't let yourself get to 40 like I did.

I have basically given up any hope of ever having any kind of relationship with a woman at this point in my life. I am resigned to the fact that I will spend the rest of my life as I have to this point - alone.

I can remember when I was 28 and a virgin, thinking how horrible that was. That was nothing compared to now. The last 12 years have gone by so fast that it's not even funny.

No matter what hollywood and "the 40 year old virgin" movie say, I can assure you that there's nothing funny whatsoever about being a 40 year old virgin. Far from being funny, it's downright depressing.



You still have time to turn things around for yourself. Please, learn from my experience (or lack thereof!) and don't let yourself end up a real 40 year old virgin. Do whatever it takes, or you may find yourself regretting it years later...



Best of luck!

Guyphx I know how you feel....




First of all, at 5.5 inches you are not huge but then you are not small either. So don't let that bother you.




What you should do is learn a lot about sex whichever way you can and watch some porn to get some ideas. Dont tell anyone that you are a virgin. Rather, after you have had sex, tell the girl then and she will be
surprised that you did such a great job despite being a virgin.

And to the couple that doubted you:

its one thing to accuse someone of being a fraud and another to insult them. That remark by your wife about "life being too short just like your penis" was in real bad taste. You are the one in need of help as you have to live with a editday in and day out.

Ok ive had my say...Good luck to you guyphx!

Hey am also in the same boat at the age of 24, and funny enough but I could have lost it tonight if I wanted to which is my reason for stumbling across this thread. I called around to my brothers place with my mother and his women's sister (annie) happened to be there who turned up out of the blue from london much to our surprise, I knew of her through sammy (sister) but this was the first time meeting so from what I heard before is that she would have the hots for me and it was only when I got home they texted me asking would I come back down for beers blah blah blah...But I didn't cos i've work tomorrow, so now I kinda felt I missed out on the chance, and how I know is cos when I texted her back saying I was putting up the tree she replied well you could be putting something else up lol. So now I feel I missed out, because I have to say this does get me down alot knowing am still a virgin, I can't help it but it does, now am a guy who's good looking, has a car, job oh and yes am a dj so I don't think no matter what you do or have increases your chances of losing your virginity (like these soo called punks getting every weekend) it comes down to where you came from meaning childhood of course that of mine as I didn't live my teenage years to the fullest due to shyness/quietness which made me feel left out. Presently I see myself as abit of a loner but still outgoing and just get on with it and go out the odd weekends and whatever happens happens. What really gets to me is girls playing the hard to get eventhough they would like ya in ways of looks or personality, fear of rejection is another thing aswell. But what am gonna do is use the dj'n as a stepping stone to be comfortable around people by starting to go looking for gigs or resident spots cos eventhough am a dj I don't feel confident in myself and people wouldn't think it just by the way I talk to them and just incase your wonder why I took it up well it was for the love of music really. I admit I worry fair bit about it but I think its all in the head too. I also thought of doing what "guy" said if panic stations set in but you people are rite you only lose it once and to think after that you lost it to someone you didn't even know or never will would be a big regret after holding out soo long.
I hope you know where am coming from?

Franko

Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please read this letter with gusto and clarity of vision...This reply.
Trying to pick up girls on this fine mens health forum with your fraudulent story. Preying on the abundant surplus of fine females that frequent this area, you wolf in sheeps clothing. Never knew there were such on the internet, did I not? No I didn't...



But
slight barbs aside
i just want to tell you in all honesty I really don't think that for men it matters who you lose your virginity too. The first time you do it it's just plain liberating, hell I didn't love her the first time in fact I knew her 7 days but you know what it was great. Seriously people overvalue losing something thats literally there to be lost. Your first time ain't special, you won't really remember it in some magical fairy tale way. I mean by the time your avg person dies they've had sex a thousand times, do you really think the first was more special then all the rest? Who can truly say that? I don't wanna seem crude but when you get right down to it thats just the way it is. Frankly losing your virginity to an incredible looking pro sounds like a great f*cken time. Hell you've got money treat yourself to a real life fantasy girl.
Just watch that low threshold of fairly dangerous anger and stop giving all these indications that you are using this as a dating service. Oodles and oodles of indications...I bet you didn't count on a couple of conspiracy theorist extraordinaires to come buy and blow the lid off your crazy penis-a-m-a-m-i-e scheme did you? No sir ya couldn't fool them, thats a sharp, astute couple your dealing with right there. Intelectual giants if you will.

Well I just wanted to thank everyone for kind responses (except for a few) and I wanted to let you know that I finally met with a girl that I was in love with a long time ago. Life was that way that we drifted away from each other since we were far away from each other, but finally after 5 years we saw each other recently and felt that the love was never gone.

There was no sex, but we steamed things a bit, because we were both trying to get to know each other again before getting to the next level. Now, she's gone but she will be visiting in a few months again to spend more time with me and it's most certain that we will have sex.


I'm having other problems at this point and I would like to hear from you guys. I knew this girl a long time ago very good, but now i've noticed that she's much more experienced (she's 27 btw), you could even say that she might be a sex addict. She told me that she loves sex very very much, she did almost everything possible including anal sex and told me somewhat about her relationships that happened during the time we didn't see each other.


This was an intimate conversation between us where she also asked me what I would like to do. She doesn't know that i'm still a virgin, however I think she suspects. I'm not willing to talk about it with her, but she's showed me that she is willing to show patience and allow time for us to really enjoy having sex with each other. I'm just not too happy to talk about this anyway and I just want to let it happen without much talk. It is strange that I feel very confident with her and not "afraid" if you can call it fear. I even showed initiative and did things that I thought I was afraid to do while we were intimate while she was visiting.


She's not here now, but I started having doubts about her past and if she told me everything about her previous affairs. I love this girl very much, but i'm afraid that she changed to a point where I would be shocked if I found out something else about her.


Some of the people she had relationships with I know, among which one guy was with her for a year and a half and the other guy I know was a one night thing. She told me she tried one night thing twice and that both times was horrible. Knowing this kills me, because I know that eventually I will see these 2 guys I know and I don't know how I will feel. Maybe she told me about this just because she maybe knew that I will most likely find out one day.


On the other hand, i'm afraid that she's a very sexual person and that she will sleep with someone else even though she expressed her feelings.


I guess i'm afraid that I don't know her anymore and if she's not what I feel, I will be crushed.


Can some of you guys who are more experienced in relationships give me your opinions about this. I can tell you more about her if you need to know. I'm just afraid that she changed to a point where she was telling me what I wanted to hear. Am I obsessing too much?

Btw, this girl is very far away from me and this would be a long distance relationship where I would see her probably every few months for a period of a month or so, for the next maybe 2-3 years while she finishes very tough university. What will happen after that I don't know.

If any girls are reading this, feel free to post your thoughts too.