28 Year Old Virgin - Help

Hey Brad,

I can relate with you on the shyness and low self esteem and getting the courage to ask a woman out. It's tough when you have all of that in your mind, preventing you from action. However, you have to act. You can't wait until you have the courage to do something. Do it and the courage will come afterwards.

Think of all the things you have to gain from acting. Then think of all the things you lose from not acting. Then think of the worst thing that can happen if you do act. You'll find you have a lot to gain from acting, a lot to lose from not acting, and the worst thing that can happen isn't that big of a deal.

What can she say? No? So she said no, try again. Everyone who is successful in life has failed. Men who are successful with women have failed. People who are successful with money have failed. You try anyway, you learn from failures, and you keep going.

"But I never give up hope and will continue, even at the age of 40, to get the courage to finally ask a woman out."

Don't hope for courage to ask a woman out, just go do it. If you want, you can do it online with dating sites. You can be upfront or not.

Not sure why you think it's too late to have a relationship at 40 either. Many people start relationships much later in life. You have a long time ahead of you, but that's no reason to wait.

Good luck.

just dont rush in to it it will come some day trust me just play it cool cause i am 16 an ive had sex loads of time but i wish i never had because i dont feel like i lost my
viginity with the right girl an now i ave got a kid at the age of 17

GOOD LUCK PLAY IT COOL

Bloody hell. We're a dime a dozen, aren't we? I agree with several previous posters' recommendation of THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Hilarious, hilarious, AND extremely cathartic for the lovelorn. In regards to the topic at hand...

I didn't notice girls in middle school or high school or during my short, stoned and drunken stint at university. The first time I ever really NOTICED a girl, I was 23 or 24. But, by then, a fellow is assumed to have lots of experience with women. And I don't mean just sexual experience; I mean relational experience - emotional intimacy, vulnerability, fights and forgiveness, ho-hum day-to-day, quiet gratitude. I didn't have any such experience. I thought I would be thought a complete weirdo if she found out, but I had no interest in playing a part. My mind told me that I couldn't make a move, so I didn't. We spent a lot of time together alone, and I let my feelings just sit inside, intensifying. BIG MISTAKE. A vivid imagination spins out fantasy after fantasy about an idyllic love life with the girl you're desiring. Even if you try to supress it, knowing it is folly, the wonderful little stories just keep on coming. And of course they do. They are comforting. They allay the loneliness a little.

Eventually, I told her how I felt, but it was awkward and creepy. A real mess. Forget about it. That was some 8 years ago, and I still haven't been able to express myself to women I've liked. There was one girl I really fancied. I thought I might marry her. She was romantically retarded, too, which was part of the attraction. But after spending more time with here, I found her company exhausting. I won't tell her faults, but they were there - as are mine.

Recently, I've allowed the same bloody damn thing that happened with the first girl to happen with another girl. I haven't talked to her in a few days. I can't bring myself to call her or text her or go see her at work. And I'll tell you why: a fierce desire for her coupled with a rather intense fear of her overloads the system. The gears freeze. This probably comes off as a kind of defense - as me saying that I'm in the right, but wounded, so don't judge me or think less of me, just pity my plight and admire my bold confessions. I tell you, dear reader, that is NOT what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that my feelings are intense, and I don't know how to manage them. I've been supressing them for so long, I don't know how to process them or use them. They just intensify and, being supressed, the FESTER. Yikes. All positive is stuffed away and turns into negative. Not into anger or resentment, but into melancholy and regret. Nightmare! That's my story. ON THE UPSIDE... They say that knowing is half the battle. I think that's rubbish. I'd say that, now I know, the battle's only just begun. But the victory may be swift, so there's courage and good cheer to be taken. I am, in fact, emotionally far behind my peers. Where they found themselves at age 14, I find myself at age 31. Romance scares me, but attracts me. If that's how YOU feel about romance, dear reader, I think you'll do well to express these feelings to the object of your desire as soon as you can. Find an appropriate conversation to tie it into when you're just starting to get to know one another. Then she'll know, and you won't be obsessing about what she'll think if she finds out. You are who you are. Let your light shine. People like that sort of thing. Besides, if you believe in Jesus Christ, I can assure you that if HE can love you, ANYONE can.

Awwww! omg I didnt read all the pages but now I did.
Hey I feel bad. My bf was in the same boat with me. I know that there is WAAAAY too much for explaining. So if any of you guys wanna talk to a VERY open minded bi sexual girl about this, please pm me. I really think maybe I can help :-/ maybe... Or atleast make you feel a little better.

This is a reply I gave to someone with a similar thing. If the spots are on the head of the penis and the foreskin then it should apply to you:

It could be PPP. I don't know too much about it but I know it's harmless. I have a similar thing, a cluster of small white bumps on both the foreskin and on the glans. Search for Hirsuties papilla genitalis on Wikipedia for images.

I didn't look for treatment because mine are fairly small and if it's totally harmless I'm not too fussed.

I should add that there's no pictures of it on the foreskin, only on the head of the penis. If it's similar to mine the ones on the foreskin are white and somewhat smaller than the picture shows. Reminds me of the heads of cauliflowers.

Soon to be 23 year old male virgin here.

Came across this topic looking for stories of people who are 20-something virgins like me. I've finished reading the entire topic and it's definitely given me a new light on the subject. I don't have much to add to the topic other than my own story; Shy, insecure, geek, etc. Sound familiar? But I do want share the thoughts that have changed for me after reading this topic.

I used to think that I wanted to save my virginity for that "special someone" as well, but after reading some of the stories here from people who are much older than me, I definitely do not want to be in their situation. Keeping one's virginity to the point where it begins to depress them doesn't seem worth it at all. I'm rather content right now even though I'm a virgin, but I don't think it will be the same in 10 or even 5 years should it remain like this.

Me being very shy and cynical, I may just have to change around quite a bit in order to prevent this. As long as I lose it to someone I genuinely like, I think I'll be fine. It doesn't have to be someone I have to spend the rest of my life with anyway.

I can't really give any advice, but maybe some people who come across this will come to the same realization as I have.

Best of luck to you all! =)

I'd say just give it a go. Try...see what happen's if it works, than it's good. If it doesn't, you will always be able to learn from your mistakes. It is a road that everyone goes down, regardless of age.Good luck.