I have a fear of having sex. It's not a
phobia or anything..Hehe...Its my parents.
I lost my virginity when I was 18..With a
past boyfriend..And then after a year or
so I had another boyfriend and you can
figure that I was active with him
then.....And my mom found out.
We broke up and I moved away with my
parents. I don't hav many friends here
..Its been a year and a half already.
Since I been living here i've been
spending so much time with my family and
they are strict. They're very
traditional becaus ethey grew up in the
philippines. They are constantly telling
me "don't have sex", "don't make a
mistake", "smart people make mistakes too,
you're smart but all it takes is one
mistake and you're life will change",
"only married people have sex." "its
bad." "don't be like your cousins" (who
have kids) and don't be like your
friends.. (two of my friends from where I
use to live have kids..)
i'm 20 and I have a new boyfriend here.
He's been really patient for the past 9
months but he's frustrated and its making
things hard on our relationship. I want
to get intimate with him but when we start
getting in the mood I think of what my
parents repeatedly tell me. I think I am
going to get pregnant if I do. He's mad
that i've had sex w/ my ex's. And that
i'm acting like a kid about it..Which is
probably because i'm treated like a kid.
It really bothers me. I feel like if I
have sex im betraying my parents or i'm
gonna get caught again..Or have a baby or
something!
And its sucks..Im 20!
I need advice...Please leave any..
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 04-08-05 01:55am
There is nothing wrong with not having sex
now. Even if it is just because of what
your parents told you, so what? Your
boyfriend is being a health forum. Yes,
you had sex with two previous boyfriends,
you got in trouble and decided that the
consequences weren't worth the action.
There is nothing wrong with that, in fact,
it is very commendable. If he loves you,
he will stay with you and if you get
married then you can have sex. Don't do
it just because he is trying to guilt you
into it. Yes, lots of people have
premarital sex now adays, but that doesn't
make it right. And it doesn't make it
worth the consequences either.
You are doing what is right and he needs
to respect you for that. If he doesnt
then I hate to say it, but maybe he isn't
the one for you. Stay strong.
|
bubbly
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 6 Location: montreal
Posted: 04-11-05 09:09am
Hey... I beleive that there is nothing
that should let you behave behind your
parents back...Sometimes traditions and
religion get involved in our life
behaviours including sex ...But those
rules about not having sex were not there
because of nothing....It's because many
troubels may be caused because of
it...While in my point of you...Your
boyfriend should understand that ..And he
doesn't have to ask for sex unless you
want that..But for sure you have to
explain all your reasons...
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