Just Need to Know If Anyone Else Feels the Same Way!! Posted: 11-06-03 14:54pm
Hi everyone, I am new on here and was
really relieved to find a place that we
can talk about our problems. I'm not
really sure if I am suffering from
depression or anxiety, I seem to have
characteristics of both. Basically
lately I am scared of everything, mostly
change! I got married in july and things
were going great till about 2 or 3 weeks
ago. My husband and I live with family,
my parents and my younger brother and we
are happy here, but still want our own
things. But lately I don't want to
leave, I don't want to grow up, I worry
that by getting older the ones I love get
older and I couldn't live without them.
I try to not let my mind wander but no
matter what I do it does. I'm scared as
hell to lose my parents or my brother or
husband, and I don't think I can go when I
do. Before the last little while I have
been an avid person that lives everyday to
the fullest and now i'm not, i'm too
worried about what is going to happen one
day and not enjoying what I have right
now. And i'm scared one day I will be
alone, what if i'm the last to die, how
could I be by myself?? I keep thinking
it would be so much easier to be dead and
never have to worry, but i'm certainly not
suicidal. I just don't know how much
longer I can live like this. Does anyone
else feel like this and how do you live
with it??
|
ebbylove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2003 Posts: 5 Location: Vancouver BC
Running On Empty? Posted: 11-21-03 17:03pm
I've been in your shoes dear, I recently
moved across the country away from my
family, to be with my new bf, where I have
no one familiar, and its very expensive to
call home, so I got very lonely for a lil
while. I also already suffer from
depression, and I am on meds. I think
that what you are feeling is normal, its
not clinical depression so much, because
depression usually affects your body, and
mind, making you sleep, eat, cry more,
etc, and for weeks at a time not
subsiding, but you just sound like your
afraid of change in your life, and thats
normal too, what you have to realize is,
life isn't suckers as it seems, if you
take every day at a time, and enjoy the
things and people around you that you love
so dear....Well that should be enough,
focusing on the future, about people dying
etc...Is focusing on negativity, which
doesn't help you at all in the long run
does it? Realize that the people you
have in your life are there for you, and
perhaps you might consider talking to a
therapist with your new husband so he
doesn't feel as though you are afraid of
being with him....Did I help?
|
kstacks
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 2
I Know How You Feel Posted: 11-21-03 21:33pm
I had to reply because your message
reminded me so much of a time in my life.
When I was engaged to be married (13 years
ago!), I went through the exact same thing
you're going through. I was so afraid of
my happiness, that it actually scared me
and I was so afraid of losing it all. I
didn't want to leave home because I was
afraid of never being able to come "home".
I took the leap of faith, though, and
found that my life was wonderful as a
newly married adult, too. I still have
episodes of anxiety, which usually occur
when big changes happen in my life (the
birth of a child, moving, new jobs, etc),
but I have learned that it is just part of
who I am and it will be okay if I just
forge ahead.
I have had some counseling along the way
when I really start to feel out of control
and I did take paxil for several months
when we were preparing to go to russia to
adopt our 2 youngest children, which
helped me enormously at that time, but
overall, i've just learned that this is
who I am and it's okay and i'll get
through it if I just don't stop moving.
Take the leap of faith and move to your
new place. You'll probably find that your
life is richer and better than you even
imagined. And do whatever you need to do
to not think about everything so much.
I'm a true "overthinker" and have had to
learn that thinking everything to death
does nothing but hurt my presence of mind.
I'm wishing you the best. You'll get
through this. It will pass. Hope this
was helpful.
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