Getting Depressed Instead of Angry Posted: 05-01-05 23:55pm
Lately I have been having a problem at
work, and I was wondering if anyone else
has suffered from something like this. I
do telemarketing for a dating service,
basically calling and telling people how
we can help them. The problem with this
job is that sometimes people call back in
the worst moods, since they're married and
tried to cheat online, or just hate
getting calls, etc. Not only are some of
these people mad and yelling, but also
swearing with no restraint.
Now everyone else working there just gets
pissed and moves on.... But I can't get
mad. I just start to cry and get really
depressed. I have never been able to be
out-right mad for some reason. Getting
depressed instead of angry is starting to
affect my productivity, which in
unacceptable... But I have no idea how to
handle it, I just can't get mad without
feeling guilty. I have been able to find
plenty of things on how to help repress
and control anger. But nothing about
being unable to get angry instead. Does
anyone else do this or am I just a freak?
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babygiraffe123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 May 2005 Posts: 7
Posted: 07-06-05 16:36pm
Hello, I have this problem too. I cannot
handle anybody yelling at me, it just
makes me break down and cry. In addition
to that, I also suffer from depression,
panic and anxiety attacks, not being able
to make eye contact with any1, and a
devastating fear of social places and
situations. I understand where you're
coming from. If u ever need someone to
talk 2, please feel free to email me. My
name is kari and I am at baby
giraffe123@yahoo.Ca.
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Jemini
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2005 Posts: 58 Location: Australia
Posted: 07-07-05 07:06am
I too work in a call centre to, I had
never had any call centre work experience
in my life. About a year ago now I
actually lost it, I had an abusive
customer and I actually broke down and
cried, I was so humiluated as well because
I was then known as "the girl who cried"
i since then went on a course of
antidepressants and to also help with my
anxiety as each time I was getting up for
work I would have a panic attack!
As the antidepressants took it course I
started to get more confidence on the
phone, and even started getting regonised
as I was noticably starting to do well.
Now i'm at the point where I don't let
customers get to me because hey we can't
see them, they can't see us, and hey we
can always terminate the call if they are
being abusive. It takes awhile to get use
to, but evetually you grow a what we call
"thick skin" and i've learnt to just move
right on, they are just a voice on the
other end, nothing more.
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jurplesman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Sydney Australia
Posted: 07-09-05 00:13am
It is to be expected when dealing with the
public that you are going to encounter
some people who themselves are not able to
handle people.
If I have a hang-up that says : "i am
stupid" and some body calls me stupid or
treats me as if I am stupid, then I am
likely to get upset, because I have no
proper defences against something that
could be true. This is because the other
person has hit my hang-up.
Thus if we want to be able to handle
abusive customers - and you know
'customers are always right' - then we
must make sure that we don't have any
hang-ups about ourselves that could
trigger an unassertive response.
If we want to be assertive - that is in a
non-aggressive way - we must be able to
deal with criticism, in other words get
rid of our own weak spots in our
personality.
We have a self-help psychotherapy program
at our web site that will help you not
only to become more confident about
yourself, but will teach how to handle
criticism from other people, and
especially coming from within yourself
the program starts off with an analysis of
how people communicate with one another,
in term of transactional analysis (ta).
This is big word for simple ideas. This
system teaches us that we have three ego
states called the parent, adult and the
child. We seem to be hopping from ego
state to another.
It is the inner parent that causes most of
our emotional problems. The parent is an
automatic judge within us, that
robotically keeps on spewing judgments
out. Thus if somebody says to me that
“you are stupid” I know from ta, that
the other person sits in his parent ego
state and that he is addressing my child,
instead of my adult.
The trick in assertiveness training
program is to get the other person out of
his parent and back into his adult.
This is easily done once you have got rid
of your own hang-ups, because hang-ups are
nothing more that robotic judgmental
statements about yourself. You have
learned these in the past. Regardless
where they come from anything learned can
be unlearned.
When you do the assertive training program
you will be able to counter your own
criticism within yourself and by mental
exercise gradually get rid of your
negative self-images.
Once you have studied that course - which
is completely free of charge - you not
only have got rid of your negative
self-image, but can immediately recognize
the hang-ups in other people. People
that are rude (and emotional) are usually
loaded with hang-ups.
When you have completed the course you
will be able to handle any customer.
Look up psychotherapy at our web site and
have fun doing the course.
