Eating Disorders Forum - You'll Never Reach "perfection"


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buttercup

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 21 Nov 2003
Posts: 20

You'll Never Reach "perfection" Posted: 05-11-05 09:25am


If you're anorexic/bulimic because you want to acheive "perfection", you actually probably look far less than perfect than if you ate healthy food everyday. You probably look sickly and bony, and your hair is probably limp and falling out. You can be thin just by eating super-healthy food instead of junk, and you'll actually be thin and look good from eating right. If you think being emaciated is attractive, just ask any guy and they'll tell you they prefer healthy, curvy women over pale, heroin-chic women with no breasts or hips. It's too bad our culture says that emaciated is attractive and girls actually buy it, because in reality to most men it's not at all. (why would you want a man who prefers bone-thin women anyway?) in evolutionary terms, men are attracted to women who can bear them children. Sickly, unhealthy women are therefore unappealing. So maybe you should reconsider starvation and feel good and happy for once by eating right instead of tired and hungry all the time. Another thing: stop reading women's magazines like vogue, etc. Because they're bad for self-image. They're trying to burn into your mind that you can look "perfect" (like the bony skinny models) if you buy everything in the magazine... But you never quite acheive that perfection because they models aren't even real themselves (they're airbrushed and they've probably had plastic surgery) and you just keep giving money to these cosmetic and clothing companies without ever coming close - and they love that. If you want to be thin, eat healthy foods all the time. That's what i've done for 2 years now, and i'm thin. I don't starve myself. And I feel great.

deathx

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Posts: 118

Posted: 05-11-05 10:06am


What about males and bullemia...

poetmcc

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Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 273

Posted: 05-11-05 13:45pm


I think in males they dont exactly want to be skinny, they just want to be big and strong with no fat. So I think in males, they overachieve for muscle and strength not exactly being thin. Well take care all of you.

hotasfrick

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 05-11-05 14:21pm


For a lot of people, having an eating disorder has nothing to do with being thin. For some it does, but for most, it has nothing to do with it. I would rather have a man who liked me as I was, than one who placed judgement on me or wanted me to bear him children. Most men do prefer thin women though if you want to be honest here. Not all, and I agree why would you want a man who only was interested in you because of your body, but the majority of men do want a woman with a rock hard body and big perky boobs. Not sickly thin though! Everyone should just be happy with what they have, or work with what they have in a healthy way. Eat healthy and excercise and your body will become what it is suppose to be. Not everyone lives their lives according to what men (or the opposite sex) prefer. I personally couldn't care less what men in general like or are attracted to. Having an eating disorder is like having depression or anxiety or any other illness. You don't choose to have it and in a lot of cases it isn't influenced by a magazine or someone's standards. Magazines and society may influence crash dieting, but for the most part they have nothing to do with eating disorders. But, they also influence what a lot of men find attractive in a woman. Not only do they influence what girls think they should look like, but they also influence what men think women should look like. But, that is never going to go away. I see no problem with wearing the latest fashions, or perfecting your make-up and hair, but please try to be happy with your bodies, girls. God bless. Last edited by hotasfrick on 05-11-05 14:30pm; edited 1 time in total

hotasfrick

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Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 05-11-05 14:26pm


Oh, and again for the male with bulemia....Again, these illnesses quite frequently have nothing to do with wanting to be thin or look a certain way. And if you want to get technical, the majority of men don't care what they look like. Women are suppose to be absolutely perfect, smooth, beautiful, thin with large perky boobs, but men are allowed to be fat, hairy and smelly with small penises and we are suppose to be attracted to them anyway. It's quite disgusting actually!Lol.

lostoyou

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Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 170
Location: Ireland

Eating Disorders Are Complex Posted: 05-11-05 16:56pm


Ok well an eating disorder is not about being thin although on the surface thats what it appears to be, its a coping mechamism for life, its about how people feel and think about themselves and usually that is in a very negative way. Bulimia and anoerxia are different behaviours but the people who suffer with them have very similiar mind sets and with regards to men, there is not a huge different behind the reasons why the make themselves sick or starve themselves. Yes its true that magazines with really thin modals and people promoting diets and losing weight to feel better, that doesn't help someone with an eating disorder but its certainly not the cause of it. If it were that easy just to eat 3 meals a day without over or under doing it then it would be done but food becomes almost alien and then certainly for me you forget how to eat normally and what is healthy or not. Many people do not want to lose weight so that men will be attracted to them for some its one of the reasons they want to lose weight. Eating disorders are very complex and to say just to eat healthy is really not enough to help people and it really shows the lack of awareness about eating disorders which I think is very sad.

hotasfrick

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Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 05-12-05 08:33am


Those were my thoughts exactly. I had to edit my post though because I think it was kind of mean to begin with. :wink:

Kaylathecoolest

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Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 73

Re: Eating Disorders Are Complex
Posted: 10-18-06 19:06pm

lostoyou wrote:

if it were that easy just to eat 3 meals a day without over or under doing it then it would be done but food becomes almost alien and then certainly for me you forget how to eat normally and what is healthy or not. Many people do not want to lose weight so that men will be attracted to them for some its one of the reasons they want to lose weight.
Eating disorders are very complex and to say just to eat healthy is really not enough to help people and it really shows the lack of awareness about eating disorders which I think is very sad.

i totally agree I struggle with what people call ed but I aint as bad as others I just got the beginning stages I think o well this aint bout me it is wrong to tell someone to eat right because it is hard inside of someone that has ed they are always beating themselves up about diets and I know if I dont see imidiate improvement from dieting I just dont eat the next few days or however long I know how it feels and losts of times people with ed cry more on the inside than out and I know I cry alot on the outside so I cry alot together... Sad

cry

v00d00cita

Advanced Support Team

Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 709
Location: ,

Re: Eating Disorders Are Complex
Posted: 10-19-06 05:41am

kaylathecoolest wrote:

yeah, I totally make your words mine, because they explain how it feels when you have an eating disorder.
But what you all said is correct. Starting with what you constatly get from the media and the press. Everything that gets you depressed and down. I guess that's the start of a disorder for the majority of the people, don't you? Of course there are many other things. Specially when combined it's even harder to fight back and to analyse what you get and you are thinking about yourself, because you can't help thinking the problem is you.

lostoyou wrote:

hotasfrick wrote:

having an eating disorder is like having depression or anxiety or any other illness. You don't choose to have it and in a lot of cases it isn't influenced by a magazine or someone's standards. Magazines and society may influence crash dieting, but for the most part they have nothing to do with eating disorders. But, they also influence what a lot of men find attractive in a woman. Not only do they influence what girls think they should look like, but they also influence what men think women should look like.

this is what I meant!!! :\
these contents shouldn't be harmful, but they turn out being a lot worse than what they should ever be.
Even when you don't buy these kinds of magazines, you can't avoid seeing them as you pass by them on the street, as you can't avoid those huge outdoors and tv advertisement.

buttercup wrote:

if you're anorexic/bulimic because you want to acheive "perfection", you actually probably look far less than perfect than if you ate healthy food everyday.
(...)
if you think being emaciated is attractive, just ask any guy and they'll tell you they prefer healthy, curvy women over pale, heroin-chic women with no breasts or hips. It's too bad our culture says that emaciated is attractive and girls actually buy it, because in reality to most men it's not at all.
(...)
another thing: stop reading women's magazines like vogue, etc. Because they're bad for self-image.

about this opinion, the one which started this discussion... Firstly, buttercup, congratulations. We don't know your story (at least I don't), but you seem to have recovered from an eating disorder. That should be enought to give us, we who still fight it, strenght to carry on and get well.
Then, the media again...
Asking a guy what he thinks about how your body looks like, may not be so simple. And even getting the answer isn't simple. If they say you're fine and beautiflu, maybe you'll be thinking that they've told you that just to be nice or so. Mostly they are telling the truth, I guess, but we don't want to see it as a true opinion...
Perfection doesn't exist, but we can be as good as we can achieve. Without having an eating disorder.. Because can be good at doiung other things: painting, drawing, writing, reading, making beads necklaces, working out, helping people, etc.

Kaylathecoolest

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 73

Posted: 10-20-06 16:47pm


I agree with yall but for me magazines and stuff aint what started my problem I started it because I look at myself and see flab but seeing other people is what helped me start my problem seeing a bunch of small people but like today I was talking to some of my friends and they were like I bet you dont weigh over a 100 pounds and if you do it is only like 101 and so I guess everyone sees me as super skinny but I aint and I really weigh 111

v00d00cita

Advanced Support Team

Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 709
Location: ,

Posted: 10-22-06 12:45pm


I also know what you feel like when you say that... As I said, it's not just one issue, it's a mixture of many origins that help those issues getting bigger...

sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580

Posted: 10-22-06 13:15pm


I know that this is an old post but it is still has a lot of good point and to me it is not what is on the outside that counts as long as the person is taking care of themselves. I like a man with a little bit of a belly and ssome of these models look sick half of the time and have all of this make-up on, I have always been a more natural type of person with very little to no make-up. Some of these models are fixed up by the computer, don't let them sway you, true some may look that way but it takes hours to get them to look that way and surgeries, no thanks! Just be yourself! I have been on both sides, thin, due to being sick and slightlyoverweight and I would rather be healthy and be a little overweight then sick. All of these eating disorders can make you sick or kill you and it is totall not worth it so if you feel that you do have an eating disorder please get help!