Joined: 13 May 2005 Posts: 4 Location: MID-GLAMORGAN SOUTH WALES
Help Im Trapped!!!! Posted: 05-13-05 10:29am
Where do I start well from the beginning
is a good idea well i've been with my
partner for 8yrs on and off and we have
two young children. And im trapped hes
always having ago at me dragging my
confidence to the ground. He used to be
violent towards me but has now stopped
although he hasn't made physical contact
he still raises his hand to me and then
yells because I flinch. Ive tried to
leave him a few times but he gets in side
my head and always manages to worm his way
back into my home and the childrens lives
I don't know what to do anymore im
doubting weather or not I love him anymore
but im not strong enough to leave him im
only 24 and am trapped my friends have
given up on me or so it feels because im
always taking him back his accusations and
constant put downs are driving me crazy
everything is my fault. Its my fault we
don't have sex or its my fault the way he
looks because he says I take all the money
for myself he doesn't work and takes what
little money I have to have tobacco or
cannabis. He constantly puts all the
blame on me and makes me feel small when
his friends come around making out im the
dominate one in the relationship hes one
great actor hes got everyone fooled he
calls me a slag and tells me what to wear
he bullies our children and thinks im
sleeping around with every man I speak to
he tells my friends im flirting with their
partners when their not around to turn
them against me and now I could be
pregnant again I don't know what to do or
where to turn anymore please please please
give me some advice on what to do.
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tiredone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2005 Posts: 31 Location: australia
Posted: 05-25-05 22:56pm
I think u shoud get out,do the children
hear him? My mum was in an abusive
relationship my dad was a drunk,u dont
know how scared,hurt,etc I was listerning
to his crap,then he turned on me,his
lovely little girl yeah right.There is
some places that will help u yes it will
be hard but u need to do it forurself if
not for ur kids. I had a black eye got
pushed thru a glass door yes what
wonderful memories I have,my mum left him
yes it was hard for her that was many
years ago,but it was the best thing she
ever did not just for me but herself
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-15-05 06:51am
Yes, as tiredone said there are places you
can go to get help. Abused women
shelters will take you in and help you
find a place of your own.
You need to get yourself and your children
away from him.
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stho
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2005 Posts: 4 Location: virginia
Posted: 06-15-05 21:04pm
Please take it from somebody who knows,
you have to get out. I was 23 when mine
started and now I am 31 never got out. I
am not going to tell you to take your kids
and go to a shelter. For me the system
has never worked, they don't give you the
help you really need. You have to do this
for yourself, it won't ever stop... The
good days are days that you won't ever
cherish because they are phoney, not real
and you will never know when you can snap.
Aren't you afraid of walking on
eggshells? Please I urge you, get out of
there, take your kids give them life, they
are not living now, I am ruined, my kids
treat me not so nice, I am a ragdoll
waiting for my days to just come to an
end. You don't want this life. Get away
from that man!!!! May god keep you and
your children safe.
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winky2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 33
Go to a Church Posted: 07-01-05 20:25pm
Find a church that will help get you out
of there, you need support
don't be shy
you're beat down you don't even know
you're a worthwhile person any more,
you're right where he can manipulate you
your ambivalence, your
back-and-forthness...Means your conscience
knows what is right but your keep
rationalizing paralysis out of fear.
Even if you just put your kids stuff and a
cooler full of milk and cheerios in a car
filled up the gas tank and went to the
next state to start a new life, it might
be scary but even that unknown is better
than being torn down on a daily
basis...Start with churches, ask for help
everywhere you can, just track down a
lead
it is better to lead a harder life alone
with dignity than to have lost all sense
of yourself
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shanti1
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 87
You Are Not Trapped, Dear One, Posted: 07-03-05 21:40pm
I just left my boyfriend last week,
it is going to take time, to heal
my ex thought I was sleeping around on
him, even though I gave him no reason for
him to think that way
i am even 60 pounds overweight, a huge
belly, I am not preganant but people
thought I am
so why would anyone want me anyways?
Despite the point, my ex would get upset
me if I asked the guy behinde the counter
at the video store a question when a movie
is coming out, etc
and the person happened to be male, but a
teenager, I am a grown adult
my now ex boyfriend said I was parading in
front of him, that was so absurd, I almost
left him then, except it was a massive
rain storm
and he was the one that drove us there
later that nite, he yelled at me, told me
to get out of his house, it was 2 am, he
then spit in my face
i am never going back to him
i have it easier than you, no kids
hun, it does not get better, I gave my ex
exucses, pot, or medicine from when he got
shots to quit smoking
no more excuses, no one should be little
you over a course of time
and make you feel skiddish, insecure, that
you edit what you are going to say around
him, that you feel scared , that you don't
know when he is going to be abusive, or
throw a tantrum, destroy your property
( that is what my ex did)
like others said, go to a church, there
may be a support group, a supportive
shelter,
there has to be an easier, softer way.
Safety is number one.
I had a zillion great fantastic loving
times with my ex, but because of the bad
times, you have to end it, I feel.
Once you leave, in a safe environment,
even going to these boards
and the process of some time, you feel
like yourself again, strong, confident and
you and your kids will benefit, you will
make good decesions
i send you a hug and you will be in my
prayers, if you don't mind
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