I Need Some Advice About An Abortion

Well, it is your body, not theirs.

But they don't need to know what happened. You can just minform them that you are no longer pregnant and refuse to say anything else, or you can outright lie and tell them that you had a miscarriage. They frankly seem way to happy to run your life for you, so you don't really owe them anything.

If you can't stand being pregnant, then you have the right to an abortion. You are not somebody's slave, whose body is under their control.

On the other hand, if you woild like to be a parent, but feel that it is impossible at this point, then look into what would make it possible, then look for resources to se if this could happen.

But first and foremost, it is your life and your body, and therfore it is your decision.

I would seriously consider whether you want to be with your fiance or not. Disagreeing on such a strong subject is very serious. And him purposely telling everyone you are pregnant in the belief that that would stop you from aborting is just wrong.

Steen's advice is good. Just say you aren't pregnant anymore, and if you feel the need (because it really isn't anyone's business) tell them you miscarried. That's all up to you though. Tell them whatever you want, because it is your life, your business and you have every right to do what you see fit. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the advice.
One of the reasons why I dont want to keep this pregnancy is because I dont know if my fiance and I will make it to the altar- and I refuse to be a single parent. There are also some minor financial issues. But also, is that on the occasion that I got pregnant, the unprotected intercourse was coerced (lot's of emotional bullying) and I am still very angry about that.
I just dont know if there will be a lot of questions about the miscarraige. My family has been very supportive in the past 2 weeks since they've learned about it. And I know they will have questions. My mom is a midwife and strongly anti-abortion, so I dont know what questions she'll ask.
I feel so powerless in all of this. I wish I had never told him, or anyone else about this.
Does anyone have any advice on the medical abortion (pill) vs. Aspiration, and which would be simplest given my situation.

Well, I feel for you hun. My situation was the reverse, my family and fella didnt want my baby and I was the only one who wanted it, I was forced into a corner.

Your still very early on, are you sure its not the shock that makes u want an abortion? If not, then its your life and you should do what you want to do. I understand that your mother is anti abortion but if you explain she may understand...After all your her little girl and she will love you no matter what!

I went with a friend to get the abortion pill. You take a tablet and then you go back a couple of days later for another and then you miscarry. My friend said it wasnt the nicest experience but like a heavy period, the pain could be treated with normal pain killers, she said it felt like strong period pains. I had a medical/surgical abortion (not sure on the correct term) I was put to sleep, I didnt feel anything and I didnt bleed or get an infection after but have to look after yourself because straight after you are more prone to infection, they advise to shower (not bath) twice a day and use towels not tampons and make sure you take your antibiotics.

As for telling your family you had a misscariage, I dont know what to suggest there. In a way I can understand you for wanting to say this, but u might find that you will want a shoulder to cry on...Its a very big burden to keep a secret.

Is there a close friend who you can talk to about this? How long have you been feeling like this?

Really think about your options because pregnancy hormones are soooo intense, you may want a friend to help you think straight and come to the decision that is best for you.

Good luck, i'm thinking of you!

The miscarriage thing was just an idea to get people to stop asking questions, but if your mom is a midwife, then I guess that wouldn't work. Try to find a friend who is going to be supportive of you in your decision, and not so worried about what they want you to do. Then you will have the person you need for support, and your family won't have to know and shun you for it. But, if you feel you can tell them, then maybe that would be best. That way you aren't living your life hiding a secret. Good luck, i'm sorry you are going through this.
I really do think you should not stay with your fiance, but that's just my opinion and of course, I don't have all the facts. But, it sounds like he is kind of controlling and not worried about your feelings at all.

I had a surgical abortion about 2 weeks ago. I was asleep during the procedure and didn't feel a thing. I did have moderate cramping and bleeding but it was gone by that evening. I really expected it to be a lot worse but it wasn't. In most cases women have a quicker recovery with surgical abortion than with medical/chemical. I did a lot of reseach on both before making my decision. If you have any questions, i'll try to help the best I can.

I hope everything works out for you... Wish you the best!!

Akg_4101@ yahoo.Com

Wow, very hard situation to be in. I would think that your feelings towards your fiance would be enough to demote him to boyfriend or even ex-fiance. On the other hand, his wanting you to have the baby and telling all of the family about it seems caring (or is it controlling?) if you have the abortion and tell him about it, I would possibly fear for your safety. It would almost seem best for you to go ahead with the miscarriage story and be far from him for at least a while. It is true that pregnancy hormones are powerful so you need to feel supported and cared for, even if you are by yourself, nurturing yourself. Sometimes, if it is possible to get away and just be in a quiet, peaceful place, possibly out in nature, it is easier to focus on what is really important to you.
I read in a book that if you sit quietly and "talk" to the fetus about how you can't have a baby right now, spontaneous abortions have been known to happen. I wonder if this would be worth a try. Maybe it would. Best of luck.