i am not interested in sex,
I can come, but, I just dont get into it.
I always feel pressured into being sexy,
and most of the time its because I think
im overweight or unapealing, see, im bi
racial, and my husband is white, he tells
me he likes the way I look, but I keep
thinking (he would be happier with a
skinny white girl)
do you think this is why im not interested
in sex? Is it normal for sex to feel
like a chore?
when people are married for a period of
time, sex can get "routine." unless you
have gained 100lbs, stopped performing a
certain sexual act (you know what I mean)
or forced sex to be only postions for you
to "get off", then most likley it has just
become stale, routine, monitonous.
Most marriges encounter this after a few
years. There are plenty of books at you
local bokstore that give advice for
"sprucing up" a married sex life. Try
new positions, outfits, times of day, etc.
See if that helps...
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Advice For Jasen G Posted: 08-08-05 08:57am
jeffery
wrote:
if there were in the world
today any large number of people who
desired their own happiness more than they
desired the unhappiness of others, we
could have paradise in a few years.
Bertrand russell (1872 - 1970
jasen g, do not worry with those idiots
that try to bring you down. As the
above quotation suggests, some people are
naturally negative and wont feel good
about their own insecurities unless they
make someones life miserable.
You have done alot of research, what do
you do with all this information?
Continue what you are doing and do it
proud. You have my support.
The only thing to do with good advice is
pass it on. It is never any use to
oneself.
Oscar wilde (1854 -
1900)
thanks for the support. I am only here
to try and help.
"judge a man by his questions, rather than
by his answers." - voltaire
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Married Ot An Older Man Posted: 08-08-05 09:02am
kswendris
wrote:
i am 23 and my husband is 38
we have a very active sex life, when
possiable we have sex about 3 times a
week, its been like that for the past two
years and we've been married 4 months.
My question is the past couple months he
has not been intrested in innitiating sex,
he says that for so long he was always the
inniator and that its like anew found
fetish to have me iniate sex all the time.
Well I don't like to do it all the time,
I guess i'm old fashioned in thinking that
it should be inniated by him. Why does
he do this and how can I express that I
want him to iniate sex more without him
feeling obligated to do it and not be
intrested?
this is an interesting question. I can
sympahize with him as I too feel like I am
always the initiator. His main concern
is rooted in a feeling of being wanted.
When he is the main initiator, he thinks
in the back of his mind that maybe you are
only having sex because he wants it, not
you.
To try an alleviate this concern, try to
initiate it every other time. Try
planning something spontaneous. Maybe
have the house dark and a candle lit trail
leading to the bedroom one night when her
gets home. Have soft music playing and
wear some lingerie. Try talking a little
dirty and tell him that you want him to
know how good he makes you feel.
You will only have to do this once in a
while and he will bee assured for months
at a time. Trust me, this works. My
wife did this and I was satisfied enough
to initiate for about 6 months!
Us men are all children at heart. We
just want some reassurance that we are
still loved and needed.
Have fun with this and let me know how it
goes...
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Jaseng.. Posted: 08-08-05 09:05am
inblissfuldaze
wrote:
is it possible that with
rough sex, the guy can rip the girls
vagina? There is a small wound, almost
like a sore, or rubbed raw spot on the
very bottom of my vagina (on the perineum,
righhhttt next to the opening to the
vagina) that hurts.... Im guessing he
either ripped me, or the rubbing actually
chafed the skin n made it raw...? (as a
side note, there was no condom, so it was
skin on skin).
Am I just making things up or is that
actually possible? If it isnt, im scared
to know what is actually wrong with me.
:cry:
if it is true, what can I do to help it
heal or make the pain stop??
:cry:
how big is your guy? What positions
usually "rip" you?
I am about 7.75" and when my wife and I
have missionary or "splitting the bamboo"
style sex I can (and have) rip her. It
happens when he bears down and rubs hard
with his shaft upon the base of your
vagina. Try having his position himself
more forward or lean in a little. That
should help change the angle of
penetration. Try that and let me know...
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Posted: 08-08-05 09:09am
mommy of 1
wrote:
ok now I have a question, is
it normal to have to pee really bad after
sex, only when he cums in me, but then not
be able to go??? It is only when he
finishes inside me :? But it feels like
I have to pee and it burns. Love some
thoughts
thanks
this sounds like a mixed signal. When
you have sex (especially if he is a larger
man or if the sex is rough) pressure is
placed onto the bladder. The feeling
that you have after the "pleasure" is gone
is an "aftershock." your bladder is
reacting to the repetited thrusts and is
relaxing, causing you to think that you
have to go pee.
There is also a chance that some chemicals
in his ejaculations are reacting with your
vagina. Some women are just sensitive.
Try using a condom and see if the feelings
are the same. Let me know...
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Posted: 08-08-05 09:14am
lost_in_a_werid_world
wrote:
hi there,
well I was just wondering.. As a guys
opinion.. Well see I have size b going
onto c now cup size (breast) and ya they
fit my body well .. But see... Thats
the probably they fit my body horribly.
My nipples are pretty much almost the same
size of my breasts.. Ok well not
excatly but they are extremelllyyy large
:oops: and I hate it with a passion.
I;m only 16 and I nooooo that guys my age
would make fun of me and stuff but I just
hate them . They make me veryyy
unsecure about my body . How do you
think a guy would react 2 them? They r
just so... Nastyyy o man :( I hate it.
But guys r just 2 imature 2 accept it.
Honestly, how do you think they;d take
it. And when I mean huge, I really do
mean it :oops: ... Would appreciate
the feedback
i think that you are over reacting. Men
(especially younger men) will be happy to
just see a boob! Irish women, african
american and some other nationalities have
very large areolas. It is just part of
what makes us different. I think that
you will be happy to see that no one will
think they are "ugly." I personally
happen to like large areolas. If you
want a better opinion, you can send a pix
to my e-mail and I swear that I will be
the only one to see.
take a look at some pictures of topless
women (esp. Irish and redheads) and you
will see that you are not alone.
I hope this helps.
Last edited by JasenG on 08-11-06 16:49pm; edited 1 time in total
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Posted: 08-08-05 09:25am
truckstophero
wrote:
what do you do if you are
married to someone who just will not give
you a blow job but only wants straight up
sex?
beg, plead, give a favor first.
Honestly, you are not the first to be in
this same situation. Some women are not
comfortable performing fellatio. Try to
reassure her, ask her nicely what her
hesitations are. There are a few
possible answers:
1) she is not confident in her ability.
Try to reassure her and ask if she would
like you to get her a book to read on her
own time or maybe to coach her though it.
It all depends on her self-conficence and
the openness of your relationship.
2) she just doesn't want to. If this is
the case, try to let her know nicely how
much you would appreciate and love it.
3) she is scared of the taste, gagging,
etc. Let her know that she will control
everything. Suggest that you lie flat,
hands beside your head, and let her
explore your freshly washed penis, maybe
even with the lights out. Let her work
her way up. Suggest that she start by
rubbing, then a kiss, then a quick suck,a
nd build according to her comfort.
Reassure her that you can and will let her
know when you are close to orgasm.
Try talking to her and suggest some
things. Let me know how it goes...
|
inblissfuldaze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2005 Posts: 3
Re: Jaseng.. Posted: 08-08-05 18:37pm
jaseng
wrote:
inblissfuldaze
wrote:
is it possible that with
rough sex, the guy can rip the girls
vagina? There is a small wound, almost
like a sore, or rubbed raw spot on the
very bottom of my vagina (on the perineum,
righhhttt next to the opening to the
vagina) that hurts.... Im guessing he
either ripped me, or the rubbing actually
chafed the skin n made it raw...? (as a
side note, there was no condom, so it was
skin on skin).
Am I just making things up or is that
actually possible? If it isnt, im
scared to know what is actually wrong with
me. :cry:
if it is true, what can I do to help it
heal or make the pain stop??
:cry:
how big is your guy? What positions
usually "rip" you?
I am about 7.75" and when my wife and I
have missionary or "splitting the bamboo"
style sex I can (and have) rip her. It
happens when he bears down and rubs hard
with his shaft upon the base of your
vagina. Try having his position himself
more forward or lean in a little. That
should help change the angle of
penetration. Try that and let me
know...
he actually is the same size, and that is
the position that did it.. Thank you a
lot, I was scared it was abnormal or
something was wrong with me..!
Thanks for the reassurance! :)
|
angelicaforever
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: hayward
How Can I Satisfy My Boyfriend?!?! Posted: 08-09-05 19:05pm
Hello, my name is angie and i'm a 17 year
old mexican american. I am 5'7" and I
have a really nice body(not to be conceded
or anything). I take great care of
myself by not having sex (to prevent
pregnancy and other consequences that I
don't want to deal with at such a young
age).
I have to admit to you, when i'm alone
with my boyfriend I can't help kissing him
and doing everything other than sex. He
and I are young and of course the desire
to have sex is killing us but we are smart
about not crossing the line. However, we
have been offly close to crossing the
line. As that is, the only pleasurable
things we want to do is oral sex and
anything pleasureble that will satisfy our
ego from having sex. I strongly believe
in sex after mariage and he has told me
that he will wait until we get married
through the church so we can do things
right.
For the meantime, I want to have oral sex
with him but I mean great oral sex and as
you may know i'm not experienced at that.
When I go down on him I just do what
ever I think will be pleasurable to him,
and he seems to like it. But i'm pretty
sure there are special spots he loves me
to go to, or speil tricks just so this
won't get soooo boring later on. As I do
i'm pretty sure every other girl would
love to satsfy her man. So please give
me some advice for me to give him some
great oral sex i'm sure he enjoys it a
lot, but I know there's more than just
licking and you know..What can make it
even more passionate/pleasurable??
Another important question :is oral sex
for a man as pleasureble or almost as
pleasureble as sex?
|
angelicaforever
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: hayward
How Can I Satisfy My Boyfriend?!?! Posted: 08-09-05 19:15pm
Hello, my name is angie and i'm a 17 year
old mexican american. I am 5'7" and I
have a really nice body(not to be conceded
or anything). I take great care of
myself by not having sex (to prevent
pregnancy and other consequences that I
don't want to deal with at such a young
age).
I have to admit to you, when i'm alone
with my boyfriend I can't help kissing him
and doing everything other than sex. He
and I are young and of course the desire
to have sex is killing us but we are smart
about not crossing the line. However, we
have been offly close to crossing the
line. As that is, the only pleasurable
things we want to do is oral sex and
anything pleasureble that will satisfy our
ego from having sex. I strongly believe
in sex after mariage and he has told me
that he will wait until we get married
through the church so we can do things
right.
For the meantime, I want to have oral sex
with him but I mean great oral sex and as
you may know i'm not experienced at that.
When I go down on him I just do what
ever I think will be pleasurable to him,
and he seems to like it. But i'm pretty
sure there are special spots he loves me
to go to, or speil tricks just so this
won't get soooo boring later on. As I do
i'm pretty sure every other girl would
love to satsfy her man. So please give
me some advice for me to give him some
great oral sex i'm sure he enjoys it a
lot, but I know there's more than just
licking and you know..What can make it
even more passionate/pleasurable??
Another important question :is oral sex
for a man as pleasureble or almost as
pleasureble as sex?
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: How Can I Satisfy My Boyfriend?!?! Posted: 08-10-05 11:39am
angelicaforever
wrote:
... What can make it even
more passionate/pleasurable??
Another important question :is oral sex
for a man as pleasureble or almost as
pleasureble as
sex?
i am glad that you are confident in your
convictions. Make sure that you stick
with it or you might regret it. Sex
before marriage is not a bad think (to
most) but will feel bad if your heart is
telling you to wait.
Oral sex performed on men is mostly
pleasurable how ever you do it. There
are a few things to remember and a few
that you can try.
1) oral sex is still a form of sex.
Make sure that you use protection if you
are unsure about any possible stds.
2) men are not picky. We love to
receive oral! It feels great any way
that we get it. Try to think about it as
if your mouth was a vagina (sounds funny,
I know).
3) no teeth! That said, you can tease
lightly or nibble, but no scraping!
4) keep moving. Oral sex mirrors
intercourse and intercourse is about the
motion. Take in as much as you can, go
back til the rim around the head is out,
then repeat. Remember to not forget the
head as it is sensitive.
Tips:
1) try licking the head with your tongue
when you are at the end of the out
movement.
2) try using an up and down motion with
you mouth and a light twisting motion with
your hand on the base of the shaft. You
most likely cannot fit it allinto you
mouth, but don't forget about the base of
the shaft.
3) try a two handed tiwisting motion, one
hand over the other. This is a good way
to start before he is fully arroused or
before you start with your mouth.
4) try variations on position: him
standing you on your knees, him on his
back you stradling (sideways or striaght
on), you on your back head on a pillow
with him kneeling over you (if you are
comfortable that he will not force it in
too deep), him sitting in a chair and you
kneeling on the ground, etc. A
differenet position adds a different
sensation.
5) if you make him pull out, try letting
him finish inside you mouth then
discreetly spit into a towel, or even try
to swallow.
6) ask how it feels. He should be
honest enough to tell you.
7) get a book from a local chain book
store. They help and are available for
purchase to all ages (believe it or not)
let me know if I can help any further.
Good luck!
|
angelicaforever
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: hayward
Jaja Thanks! Posted: 08-10-05 17:22pm
Wow thanks that's some great advice...I'm
going to try doing that! If I have any
more questuons I will sure ask you!
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Jaja Thanks! Posted: 08-15-05 13:40pm
angelicaforever
wrote:
wow thanks that's some great
advice...I'm going to try doing that! If
I have any more questuons I will sure ask
you!
you are welcome. Let me know how it
goes!!!
|
angelicaforever
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: hayward
I Don't Know What It Is Posted: 08-17-05 13:52pm
Hello again, well let me tell you, the day
before yesterday I saw my boyfriend. I
tried doing what you told me and I don't
know what it is but then he tells me that
I don't have to do it if I don't want to
like if I taught it was nasty or
something, but I love it. Is it maybe
that he doesn't like it? We tend to
exchange out feelings for eachother, kiss,
hug and just talk about our future plans
together when we don't have oral sex.
There's another thing I don't feel the
same feeling like I used to get an orgasm.
Is it because now it isn't in his house
now he has his own room living with his
uncle and I was to busy thinking about his
noisy uncle, or was it that it was in the
afternoon and I like it at night? I
wasn't getting an orgasm, just in the
begining but then it faded away. What
can I do for this??Please give me the
answers to all my questions as possible as
you can. Thanks!
|
Peytonsmom
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Oxford
Do Like Sex An More Posted: 08-17-05 16:30pm
My boyfriend have been on and off again
for 2 years. The first time that we went
out sex was great now he can't stay hard
for long and we don't have foreplay
anymore. Is there something that I can
do to make sex better and him want to do
foreplay. All he wants me to do is to
suck his dick. Do you know were I can
get a free samples of penis pills that
will help with him please respond
asap!!!!!!!! Thank you
|
mandalee
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 14
Posted: 08-29-05 10:09am
My husband cant get me off anymore. The
only way that I have ever gotten off is if
I have been on top. Im not sure what to
do. We have tried manual stim. Of the
clit., but that has never worked for me.
Im not sure what to do. I am def.
Attracted to him, and I def. Enjoy sex.
We even tried anal because I heard that
ppl can have an orgasm that way, but I
havent and we have tried so hard. He
doesnt know that I cant get off, because I
fake it every once in a while. He knows
that its very rarely lately that I can
orgasm, he just doesnt realize that its
been almost two months, when it use to be
2-4 times a week, sometimes
more....Help.....
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Jaseng.. Posted: 08-30-05 08:15am
inblissfuldaze
wrote:
he actually is the same
size, and that is the position that did
it.. Thank you a lot, I was scared it
was abnormal or something was wrong with
me..!
Thanks for the reassurance!
:)
i am glad to have helped. How is it
working since then?
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Posted: 08-30-05 08:47am
mandalee
wrote:
my husband cant get me off
anymore. The only way that I have ever
gotten off is if I have been on top. Im
not sure what to do. We have tried
manual stim. Of the clit., but that has
never worked for me. Im not sure what to
do. I am def. Attracted to him, and I
def. Enjoy sex. We even tried anal
because I heard that ppl can have an
orgasm that way, but I havent and we have
tried so hard. He doesnt know that I
cant get off, because I fake it every once
in a while. He knows that its very
rarely lately that I can orgasm, he just
doesnt realize that its been almost two
months, when it use to be 2-4 times a
week, sometimes
more....Help.....
<
span class="postbody">
first question: can you get yourself off?
That is where you need to start.
Answer this first and then I will help
more.
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Do Like Sex An More Posted: 08-30-05 08:51am
peytonsmom
wrote:
my boyfriend have been on
and off again for 2 years. The first
time that we went out sex was great now he
can't stay hard for long and we don't have
foreplay anymore. Is there something
that I can do to make sex better and him
want to do foreplay. All he wants me to
do is to suck his dick. Do you know
were I can get a free samples of penis
pills that will help with him please
respond asap!!!!!!!! Thank
you
you should confront him and say that you
are not happy with your sex life. A
major factor in most relationships is sex
getting routine or stale. Try having
lingere and candles burning one day when
he comes home. Try changing the room,
time of day, positions, etc for sex.
Stroke his male ego and tell him how bad
you want to feel him inside of you. This
sort of stuff usually works. Let me know
how it goes.
Jason
|
JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: I Don't Know What It Is Posted: 08-30-05 09:11am
angelicaforever
wrote:
hello again, well let me
tell you, the day before yesterday I saw
my boyfriend. I tried doing what you
told me and I don't know what it is but
then he tells me that I don't have to do
it if I don't want to like if I taught it
was nasty or something, but I love it.
Is it maybe that he doesn't like it? We
tend to exchange out feelings for
eachother, kiss, hug and just talk about
our future plans together when we don't
have oral sex. There's another thing I
don't feel the same feeling like I used to
get an orgasm. Is it because now it
isn't in his house now he has his own
room living with his uncle and I was to
busy thinking about his noisy uncle, or
was it that it was in the afternoon and I
like it at night? I wasn't getting an
orgasm, just in the begining but then it
faded away. What can I do for
this??Please give me the answers to all my
questions as possible as you can.
Thanks!
he is probably just being a sensitive
boyfriend. How often do you receive oral
instead of give it? He is most likely
just trying to make sure that you don't
think he is pressuring you into giving.
I am not sure about what you mean for the
second part. Are you not having orgasms
any more, or are they just hard to get or
not as intense. Let me know and maybe I
can help.
And, yes, having someone in the room can
cause nerves that could prevent you from
having an orgasm.
