i wanted to run this by some people.
I have no passion left in me for men. My
ex-boyfriend was so selfish sexually and
made me so resentful that just his touch
or thought of being sexual with him made
my skin crawl. He really just made me
despise him. And he became very creepy
with me and felt like I wanted to scrub my
skin off!!! I hate that it got like that.
Now i'm with a new man whom I adore to no
end but I think my thoughts of men have
carried through. I"m not passionate with
him and tend to push him away a lot when
he tries to be affectionate and I am not
interested in sex at all. I think my ex
messed me up. And this is causing a
problem for me and my guy who is the best
thing that ever happened.
What do you think? And if you have been
here, what did you do to get back into the
groove? I lost my mojo :(
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no-one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 14 Location: canada
Hope Posted: 05-24-05 21:43pm
I'm in a similar relationship with my
boyfriend but he's the one having your
trouble. Please don't let anyone from
your past change you. You were probably a
wonderful person to be with as a
girlfriend, dont let your past mistake
change that for the man who is so good to
you. You have a good thing going right
now. I know how I feel when I know my
boyfriend is so hurt by his past he has to
take healing courses. If he only knew how
much I would never leave or hurt him. I
told him I loved him 3 weeks ago and he
respondeed by making me dinner and shoeing
me baby and family photos which I could
never get him to do before and then I
haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Mind
you I said some things to him that were
very loving and deep and he said no-one
ever said those things before. I hope
he's just thinking.
But please don't throw out a beautiful man
if he's so good. Just remember tomorrow
is always a fresh new day without mistakes
in it and you can start fresh and be
loving and kind.
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Justin_Toronto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Posts: 418 Location: Toronto, ON
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-27-05 12:14pm
It's tough, and there are really only two
ways you can look at it. Foremost, you
have to remember that past experiences
make you the person you are, your
experiences with your ex-boyfriend will
undoubtedly affect your current and future
relationships, that's just how us humans
work. However, these things can
change... It just takes time. As your
relationship develops with your partner,
your passion should itensify.
The second way you can look at this, is
from a maturity perspective. We all
remember what it was like back in our
teenage years, those crushes you develop,
the poetry, the passion, the music, the
little kisses, the touches, all passion...
Also, all infatuation. Infatuation is
extremely passionate and gives you
extremely heightened feelings. In time,
like all good things, this comes to pass
as the relationship develops and
eventually love settles in. It's quite
possible that you've experienced so much,
that relationships have taken on a
'logical' role instead of the more
'magical' role of yesteryear. Things
must make sense, there's a certain logic
to understanding one another, and the
things you do together. This can make
things seem less passionate, but lead to
greater stability. Many men and women
end up taking on this perspective of
relationships after some deep (and usually
not so happy) experiences in the past.
As a side note, remember it's not just
your job to be passionate, your partner
has to help bring it out of you too. He
needs to be affectionate, but not overly
affectionate to the point where it turns
you away or makes you feel bored.
