Puzzled By Behaviour

Thank you. I am sorry if I seemed to be attacking people with this illness. I know everyone with it is not like him. I don't want to stereotype. In fact his dad has it as well and is stable as far as I know. I haven't seen him in awhile. My ex doesn't really have any contact with him anymore and he himself said he doesn't remember his dad ever being as bad as him. I know he could be decent if he would just try to help himself. As bad as it sounds, I hope what happened to his dad happens to him. His dad had a nervous breakdown and was hosptialized. That is what helped his dad and made him realize he needed help and got on track with medication, etc. If I could have had him committed I would have. I am not family, and unfortunetly his family is not around here, except his sister and she won't speak with him at all. For our daughters sake and his own I hope one day he does realize what a problem this is and will make an effort to help himself.

Right, it doesn't apply when there not married.I just get tired of the woman coming on her trying to make bipolar people sound back with all " well I was dating this guy,and it was total chaos, I would run if I was you"
it sounds like some of the people are trying to say run away from any one who's bipolar. Maybe im taking in the wrong way. I've only been dangous one time and that was back when I was 9 to 11 years old and prozac bouniced me in to a manic state and I wasn't awhere of my suroundings and didn't know my mom was my mom and pulled a samwich knife out and said get away from me." finely she sat on me and called the paramedics nothing happened I calmed down and was taken off prozac.



I'm sorry I missed the part that he threatened her. She should of called the parmaedics and says I need help I have a bipolar boyfriend and think he may need to be withstand in the hospital.

You're right being bipolar doesn't give anyone a license to abuse, or torment, or hold someone hostage in their own home. It different for each bipolar person.. I don't know how I was just giving idea. I guess I was lucky when I was little (9 to 11 years old) and my mom was able to just pick me up and put me in the car.. I have no ideal how the lady can do it. I was just trying to give some advice.


When they have to take care of them selfs to a certin point. Like me I asked for help and am lucky I still have insurance with my mom. I know I don't have to pay for the bills, but I belive it's my respondsicablity(sp?)
to keep up with the doctor and therapist appointments, to tell them how I am doing and feeling and all that stuff.. But yes doctor I can see your point.




Yeah some points the payoff are too small... But you people kept on for geting your boyfriend/husband has a disorder and sometimes can't help
what they do but i'm not trying to use that as an excuse for things. But do you really thing that us bipolar people can really help how we are when we are really depressed or really manic? ./ it's a give and take if you known he was bipolar and it was going to be up and down with some turn oil then why did you marry him, or chose to be with him and not just say this isn't working out it's time we part ways?


It sounds like you just want to aim a target at bipolar,but your more then welcome to correct me if i'm wrong... But about the mamagram maybe he was at a lost of words, did you ever think about that. It not like he was a woman to and could be all " oh girlfriend I know how you feel here hold my hand!"




that is one of the most stupidist and ignorantist things I have every read.

Yes that's only if the bipolar is noncompliant and not doing what they should be doing.. If he was smart maybe he could see the hurt in your eyes and the tears,and you shoul know the walking out and saying your not speical is more or likely him just being mad. I've thanked my mom for draging me in to the car when I was littlier and all the therapist she took me too. Sounds like you can take things a little to personality and sentiveativly. Some people also need to learn how to see things from the other perosn point of view. You can still have your goals and dreams. Sounds like you may have some problems and issuse of your own. I may be taking this the wrong way, but don't take your anger and frustation out on him. There some things called/people could do. Communation, better communcation skills, marriage therapy,support groups, learning copying skills.



right couldn't of said that better my self.Right adult is an adult,they have to be willing to help them selfs, but don't just get up and go because there bipolar,or you are having bad times( like a few arguements) with them.


Sorry i'm just trying to stick up for other bipolar people, because not all bipolar are the same. I take my meds and see my doctor and therapist regulary.. My relationships are healthy right now. That's all I got to say.

/quote/joe, you do not read very carefully. You are insulting with the blah-blah-blah part. You may feel you are defending the downtrodden, but you are not. It is more than just a "you might of had a problem with" issue. He is currently my husband, these are not little problems and you are offering no insight that I have not already found from other sources.
/quote/

that just your thought, if you want to take it as an insult. Then I guess take it as an insult,but in no means did I mean bla bla as an insult.
Well then i'm sorry if i'm offering no insight.

I meant to say when dating someone they say there bipoalr would you belike ok that's cool lets keep dating,or would you be in defence because of the storys. As to say you came on her read the storys about the wifes,and girlfriends talking about there husbands/boyfriends. Would you be more inclined to belive the storys or someone who's bipolar?
Yes it has ocurred to me that these are people relating to what has happen in their lives. That there dealing with someone who is mentally ill and that it can be difficult and someone time dangerous. But you has it ever occurred to you that i'm just trying to say now all mentally ill people are this way? How am I discounting the experiences of people on the other side of the bipolar divides? Can you show me the facts to your evadience? And how the hell would you know! I'm discounting the experiences of these woman. Um lets stop and think for a second.
I'm a son,so there for I have a mother. I guess I don't know what it was like for my mother to go through the same stuff as this "woman" with me?
Nope sorry, hate to burst your bubble but I do know I remember it scence day one. Also your throwing out info that doesn't even need to be here what does me being on my mother insurance have anything to do with this? Nope i'm not in college does it look like I have the money for college,and nope my parents don't have it ether. Also it depends on what you call work. If it bust but building poker tables then I guess, that work.
If not then I guess your right. I guess your right about everything. :roll:

/quote/have you been at the receiving end of years of emotional abuse? Been threatened by the person who one day says he loves you, another that you are evil incarnate? No? I have. This is the voice of experience. And it still goes on, even while taking his meds. He has not done any of the hard work to repair the relationships he's damaged, not with me, not with our children, not with my family, not with friends and co-workers he's gone after through the years./quote/

ha, you must not know me. Because yes i've been on the receiving end of years of emotional abuse. I also have a older brother who's diabetic and has mood swings. I've been thrown in to my door a couple of times and not down, i've been called a little baby and spoiled because of me being the youngest he's told me that he doesn't get anything and I shouldn't of been born. But all of that has changed over the years and we are the best of friends now. My father also has throid disorder and has mood swings and I get yeiled at "damn stupid caca hole kids can't even put the ice in to the ice bucket" we have a ice despencer. He get's frustated at time and will yell at my mom or me brother and me..
Shut up ___ I don't want to hear it, damn this damn that. Stupid kids they don't do this or that I tried to talk to him and it turns out that I get a little mad, then I get thrown to the grown and locked down. Then I have to wreslte(sp?) to get out of it. So don't tell me that I haven't been put through emotional or pychiscal abuse.

Yes I remember beautiful mind, I have watched the movie before.
Yes I agree it take the participation of the person with bipolar disorder too.


/quote/i am not in my 20's anymore joe, I have a career, family, mortgage, and many more responsibilities than you do. There are some dreams that I can no longer pursue. Admittedly I love my children, but it is not possible to do things at the drop of a hat anymore, particularly when your spouse/partner is not capable of taking up the slack. Some things cannot be put on hold indefinitely./quote/

don't mean I don't have responsibilites of my own.. Know what I have to be making car insurance payments that I don't have the money for, I have to clean up the house, oh and let as you this how you feel if you where 23 and know in a year or two that for your health care you will have to be on medicare and possible have some s.S.D.I. Too? You have a career you're also like what 15 to 25 years or more older then me. Your right and I understand all of that, but it doesn't mean you can't have any dreams. You may not be able to fill some of your dreams, but I bet you can still do some of them.


/quote/any ways theres more fish in the sea .Aww, how sweet. After all, every single man in the world wants to marry a 35+ yo with two kids, a communicable std, an ex-husband who may become physically violent (again) if he opts to drop his meds and please note that those kids are already past their infancy. Quite a catch. I do hope you don't play the lotteries expecting to win. That is pretty much what I will face when I opt to divorce him once the kids are grown. Again, I am not divorcing him while they are minors because I need to protect them from him./quote/

sorry not trying to sound like a jerk but it's not my fault. You never know,
don't think all "boo-hoo I have two kids a std,and an abuse exhusband no one going to love me". God has some weird ways of working his magic.




/quote/not all crisis are the same. The end. Let just not bicker ok
right. Some involve full-grown adults going into a rage, or becoming psychotic (more a bipolar I event, but bipolar ii can have something akin to it), and terrifying friends and family--including one's offspring.
I won't bicker if you would read things more carefully and post a well thought-out reply. One that acknowledges the experiences of others, particularly when others have not had a great time of it.
Unless of course you are a big believer in the "kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down" theory of internet boards./quote/

yes I know, you don't have to remind me and I do read careful. I have written expression disorder so it hard for me to put the thought down on the screen right sometimes and spell. How have I not acknowledge the experiences of others? Look at all the other post. I even got a message saying thank you, your advice is really good. I'm not bickering, or arguing with you. The end i'm tired of going back and forth.

Joe, have you ever been in a relationship? Just curious as to how it went if you have been. Also, you started taking medication when you were pretty young, correct? That may be where the difference lies. My ex was diagnosed at 29 and he is almost 36 now. His parents should have gotten him help when he was younger, but they didn't. I really think if he had been treated for this when he was much younger that he would be better off and his moods and behavior would be controlled much better than they are. His one doctor told him that it is like a tumor, it will just get worse and worse. That same doctor also refused to treat him anymore because he wouldn't take his medication. He told him to go elsewhere. I think the part about it getting worse like a tumor is true. I met him when he was 30 and he is worse now than he was then. Not only did he wait too long to start any treatment for it, he rarely takes his medication; like I said before. He is a rapid cycler which probably makes it worse too. I can understand why you are sticking up for those with bipolar since you have it. However, if you were on the other side in a relationship with someone like my ex you would see how bad this can really get.

Very true.

I married my husband when he was 29, almost 30. Later that same year I suggested he seek help because he was depressed. That was...12 years ago.

He is now 42, and was diagnosed as bipolar ii this year. Someone asked what meds he is taking, currently it is lamictal and effexor. He should be taking his vytorin as well, but he isn't (for his heart/cholesterol).

As I mentioned I also suspect (read: know) he is borderline as well. Unfortunately there are no drugs to deal with that, although the lamictal has taken the edge off his raging. Yeah for lamictal!

I agree that it certainly would have helped if his parents had made any efforts to help him, but they didn't. Oh, there are a wealth of reasons why they didn't, but none of them are acceptable. They are deceased so that avenue of questioning is closed.

So, liz, how is your daughter coping? Does she see her father at all?

Our daughter is just going to be 3, so she doesn't understand anything yet. He sees her once in awhile, but not very often. There are times where he says he is coming, but doesn't show up. He really doesn't know how to take care of her since he was hardly around. He disappeared for weeks at time. He is good to our daughter when he actually does make time for her. If he continues on the way he is though I doubt they will get along at all when she is a little older.