Cannot Seem to Orgasm Vaginally Posted: 05-25-05 12:12pm
I've been seeing my girlfriend for some
time now and I cannot seem to give her a
vaginal orgasm. She's fine clitorally
but when it comes to vaginal orgasms she
just cannot seem to do it. She's tried
to get there individually and with others
but she says its never happened. I've
never run into a problem like this and
despite my best efforts I cannot seem to
get anywhere. Though she says vaginal
stimulation "feels good" after a bit she
says it just puts pressure on her bladder.
Any advice would be welcome.
Mark
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JasenG
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 99 Location: Virginia
Re: Cannot Seem to Orgasm Vaginally Posted: 05-25-05 12:22pm
snowboardheaven
wrote:
i've been seeing my
girlfriend for some time now and I cannot
seem to give her a vaginal orgasm.
She's fine clitorally but when it comes to
vaginal orgasms she just cannot seem to do
it. She's tried to get there
individually and with others but she says
its never happened. I've never run into
a problem like this and despite my best
efforts I cannot seem to get anywhere.
Though she says vaginal stimulation "feels
good" after a bit she says it just puts
pressure on her bladder. Any advice
would be welcome.
Mark
my wife and I have to have intercourse
while she uses a small vibrator on her
clitoris. This is the only way she can
cum. The best positions for this are
doggystyle (but no for a long time, her
arm will get tired) or her on her back,
one leg on your shoulder and the other off
to the side. This gives her access to
the clit while you can pound it. It also
has an added bonus for you of having a
vibrating vagina. Trust me, it feels
great and you will find it harder to
control ejaculations.
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MissShortie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 146
Posted: 05-26-05 18:05pm
Trust me it is an issue with many women,
we don't really get off on the activity
going on inside, its all it clitoral
stimulation, though sex feels good still,
just there usually has to be something
going on outside too (like a viberater, or
even maybe letting her guide you to the
right spot and you rubbing her during
intercourse) don't take it like your doing
something wrong, it is possible without
clitoral activity going on to orgasm but
trust me my boyfriend has to work up a
sweat to give it to me, and usually the
man will cum way before the women ever
will. :)
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Granps
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Arlington, TX
Cannot Seem to Orgasm Vaginally Posted: 05-28-05 00:39am
Have him go down and y'all follow these
suggestions....
Build up the intensity level gradually
with foreplay. Once you're into it, use
your whole face. Bury yourself in her
vagina, get your tongue in as far as
possible, use your nose for more pressure.
Not only does this feel good physically,
it lets her know you are really into her
taste and smell. Hint: if your eyelids
aren't sticky, you're not doing it right.
Insert two fingers in her vagina while
licking her clit. Curl those fingers up
towards your tongue, capturing her clit
and g-spot between your mouth and fingers.
As your tongue licks up pull down with
your fingers; get a rhythm going
let your lover straddle your face. If
lying back to be licked is too passive for
her, let her hop on top. From there she
can control the pressure and area of
contact. To make this position even more
fun, get tied down to the bed before she
mounts you, and maybe she'll even boss you
around with firm directives: "stick your
tongue out!", "open your mouth!" "suck it
boy", and so on. Bottomy munchers will,
well, lick it up.
Mix it up. If all you do is lick up and
down, up and down, ("fencepainting"),
chances are that it'll get boring to your
partner after a while. Vary your
movements, add pressure, use your lips,
breath and teeth in addition to your
tongue, change positions, use your
hands….Get your whole creative body
involved.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Most
women orgasm in response to rhythmic
stimulation, so if you're in a groove that
is building her up, don't suddenly change
what you're doing. Finding the balance
between variety and consistency is the art
to being an oral expert.
Suck her into your mouth. Gentle suction
is a nice variation on the licks and
downward pressure of most cunnilingus.
While you've got a nice piece of her
sucked in your mouth, lick it while
maintaining the suction.
Lick her problem. Use a barrier for
hygiene, or if she is very clean and you
don't penetrate, you may choose bare
tongue on skin. The anal area is rich in
nerve endings so all the varieties of oral
stimulation--licking, sucking,
nibbling--can feel wonderful.
Add toys. Toys are a natural complement
to oral play. Check in with your partner
about whether she’d like a g-spot
vibrator like the nubby g inside of her
while you’re licking away, or whether
she’d like to wear a butt plug like the
nubby g for an added thrill. You might
also like experimenting with edible gels,
like midnight fire, that heat when you
blow on them.
How do you know if she likes it?
With your face buried in her female part
of the body and your ears muffled by her
creamy thighs, it can be hard to talk
about how things are going. So look for
more subtle signs of her enjoyment. If
she raises her hips to meet your mouth,
that is a very good sign. A lubricating
vagina and swelling vulva and labia that
spread open as they become engorged are a
sure sign that she's responding favorably.
So is a growing clitoris. An all over
skin flush, rapid breathing, and writhing
are clues. Clutching the sheets is
excellent, and so are hands on the back of
your head pushing your face in harder.
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MissShortie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 146
Posted: 05-28-05 00:46am
Dang... I gotta get my boyfriend to read
that...
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Granps
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Arlington, TX
Posted: 05-28-05 01:12am
Is he still trainable?
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MissShortie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 146
Posted: 05-28-05 01:27am
I would think so, hes only 21, though he
usually like to be the one in 'control'
during sex, so its more like whatever
feels good to him is whats done.
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MissShortie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 146
Posted: 05-28-05 01:28am
Although I do get my own 'moments of
pleasure' from him :)
i did have him read your post :)
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Granps
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Arlington, TX
Posted: 05-28-05 22:57pm
The g-spot
we have both ends of the spectrum here -
couples who devote the entire weekend
trying to find the elusive g spot; then we
have females who are all upset because
they think they pee'd the bed during sex,
and are so embarrassed they are reluctant
to get into sex again for fear they flood
the bedroom!
Anatomically, the g spot cannot be found
as such; it is believed to be a small
spongy pad that wraps around the urethra.
If that pad is stimulated through the
vaginal wall during sexual arousal, it can
be very exciting.
The g spot is a small area, (about 1 inch
diameter) inside the vagina, up about an
inch and half to two inches. Appropriate
stimulation will cause the female to take
a deep breath and push down real hard.
Most women describe the sensation as
feeling they want to urinate - they have a
powerful urge to "bear down", same
sensation of pushing when delivering a
baby. They take a deep breath, hold it
and push right down to their bottom.
During g spot orgasm, a large amount of
fluid may suddenly gush out through the
urethra. It is difficult to estimate how
much fluid is expelled. I have heard
amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts.
The g spot fluid is colourless, (urine is
yellow), it smells sweet like clover,
(urine smells like urine), it does not
stain the mattress, (urine certainly
does).
Every woman who has experienced g spot
orgasm has a different way of getting
there. But there is a common thread
through their stories. Usually it happens
when:
- she is in a high trust relationship
where she does not worry what she looks
like, sounds like or smells like; she is
confident.
- she is very, very sexually aroused. She
has possibly had one or more orgasms just
prior to reaching g spot orgasm.
- she reaches a certain point and she just
has to push down.
- she can feel the fluid spurting out and
it feels wonderful.
- after that orgasm, women will tell you
they feel completely depleted, they can
hardly walk to the bathroom.
- it the best sex possible.
Some women say they have easy g spot
orgasms with one partner and unable to get
there with another. Some women are able
to stimulate themselves to g spot orgasms,
others just can't.
Some women get tired of having a
perpetually wet bed, so they take a green
garbage bag, cut up one side and across
the top. Open it up, then take a
flannelette sheet or big beach towel, pin
it to all four corners of the garbage bag.
Then roll this up lengthwise and put it
just under her side of the bed, within
easy reach. Then if she decided that
"tonight's the night, ain't nobody gonna
stop me now", she reaches under the bed,
rolls the sheet/bag under her hips. Her
partner knows what that means, and away
they go.
Take the pressure off yourself. Some
females ejaculate on a regular basis, some
can make it happen, for others it is an
amazing accident, and some women just do
not ejaculate. But sex is pleasurable and
enjoyable and satisfying if you do or
don't hit that elusive g spot.
If you want more information, check out
the good vibrations guide to the g spot by
cathy winks, published by down there
press. We also recommend understanding
the g spot by donald hicks
hope this helps. I know from experience,
it works. :wink:
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 05-29-05 10:13am
Oral like that wouldn't do anything for
me.
One leg up over your shoulder so she can
reach her clit and you can still "pound
it," maybe that's why your wife doesn't
orgasm from just you. Why should she
have to use a vibrator while you have sex?
She is pleasing you, so you need to
please her. Experiment with her and
figure out how you can make her cum. You
should be the one playing with her clit,
not her.
And then, some women just don't orgasm
through penetration or even while being
penetrated. I cannot cum with anything
inside of me, no penis or finger.
Clitoral only. Even if I am in the
process of climaxing, if I am penetrated
it stops completely. So, oral with
fingers and having a tongue inserted into
you wouldn't work for many women.
And most of the time when you bury your
whole face, you are too rough and end up
doing more harm than good.
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Granps
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 225 Location: Arlington, TX
Hotasfrick Posted: 05-29-05 12:50pm
And most of the time when you bury your
whole face, you are too rough and end up
doing more harm than good.
Hey, i'm not talking about sticking your
head, wingle your ears and puking. I'm
controlled by her hands pushing on my
head. She will increase pressure as she
approaches her climax.
Have you tried the g-spot thing? :wink:
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 05-31-05 20:41pm
Yes, but as you know, most men have facial
hair? Yeah, even if it is shaved, that
crap hurts if your face even touches down
there let alone is pushed around down
there.
And as I said, I am one of those women who
cannot cum through penetration or while
being penetrated, so how in the world
would the g-spot thing do me any good?
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addyby42
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Washington
Can't Cum Vaginally Posted: 05-31-05 20:53pm
I have the same problem. I can't cum and
it gets very frustrating for me. Going
down on me doesn't work. The only time
anything does work is when i'm rubbing on
him. I want him inside me when I cum and
it is really kind of irritating that I
can't.
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concernedgf
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 6 Location: BC
Posted: 06-02-05 23:14pm
First of all, let me start by saying that
i'm one of those women who can't have an
orgasm vaginally. The only way I have
ever had an orgasm is through clitoral
stimulation. My (now ex) husband tried
every which way of trying to get me to
orgasm during intercourse to include the
vibrator, the leg over the shoulder, and
many other methods. No luck! This all
changed when he bought a sex toy called
"the ladybug". It's a strap-on vibrator
that you pull it on like panties. The
motor (or the body of the ladybug) goes
over your pelvic bone and the "feelers" go
on each side of your clitoris. You hold a
remote control which controls the speed of
the vibrator, and it's meant to be worn
during sex. I tried wearing it without
the intercourse, and I found out that I
actually had better results during sex
with him on top of me while I was wearing
it, cause every time he pounded into me,
it was that much more intense. I have to
say that i'd recommend this to anyone, as
it's the only way that I have ever had an
orgasm while having intercourse!!!!!
