I have a question yall.. I'm 17 well 18
in less than a month and i've been with my
boyfriend for quite some time now, he's
21. And we both love each other more than
words could ever say and we'd do anything
for each other and I really badly want to
marry him... But he was raised in a
family in a way that he doesnt see the
point to marriage, he doesnt understand
the meaning behind it and i've tried
explaining it calmly to him whats its
about what it represents, etc. And he
still maintains he doesnt need a piece of
paper to prove he loves me and is one with
me, heart and soul. What do I do..?
~ashtyn~ :oops: :(
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ashtyn2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 25
Posted: 05-31-05 18:37pm
Think anyone could help???
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ashtyn2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 25
Posted: 05-31-05 22:51pm
Guess not :'(
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 05-31-05 23:54pm
You must do what you feel is the right
thing to do. Has he asked you to marry
him.
Good luck
sandy
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ashtyn2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 25
Posted: 06-01-05 01:22am
No he hasnt.. He doenst beleive in
marriage.. Doesnt think he needs it to
prove he loves me.. I just dont
understand him.
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MissShortie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 146
Posted: 06-01-05 01:33am
I think it is obvious you do understand
him, you just dont like the way hes
thinking about it. And you cant force him
to change his mind. Marriage isnt such an
'important' thing to some people. Maybe
you should just tell him you understand
him and you dont need a piece of paper to
know you love each other, but its the
ceremony and the way you were raised that
its something you as a women look forward
to, and that if he does love you just as
much wether or not your married, why
doesnt he just marry you, so you can have
that fulfillment of having the ceremony,
and it shouldnt be that big of deal to
him. But if he doesnt ever plan to marry
you and maybe this is something really
important to you, you will have to decide
for yourself, do you still want to be with
him, or not. Nobody else can help you
decide that, you can just try your best to
work him over, and if not youll have to
get over it sooner or later cause if it
becomes an "issue" he might start to get
annoyed then you might end up splitting up
: /
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Sunshine_Forever
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 11 Location: GA
Posted: 06-03-05 16:50pm
Well, maybe you could try telling him what
marriage means to "you" personally..Not
just what the sterotypes are. Tell him
why you want/need to get married. If you
plan to spend the rest of your lives
together and possibly have children, that
piece of paper as he calls it is security.
If it would come to something like a
medical emergency a boyfriend or
girlfriend wouldn't be able to have as
much say in matters as a husband or wife
would. It's also better for legal
matters...Buying a house together, credit
cards and other things I can't quite think
of at this moment. I am only 19 and I do
not know everything about having to
support a family, but I am sure that
having a marriage cetificate has many
benefits for couples planning on staying
together forever. It's not about proving
how much you love someone. And you are
still young..Maybe even too young to think
about marriage. Wait for a few years and
see how your relationship progresses. (my
boyfriend and I are both 20 and are
waiting a few years before we get
married).You never know, he may come
around and see things your way if you stay
away from the subject for a while. Good
luck!
-sunshine
remember this is just my personal opinion
and I do not claim that what I say is that
only way to go about things. I'm sure
many couples live happily togehter without
getting married.
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cphilyaw
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Nov 2004 Posts: 95 Location: North Carolina
Posted: 06-08-05 12:38pm
Try telling him that yes it is a peice of
paper but more of the fact that it is a
commitment in writing stating he and you
will stand by, honor, and love one another
until death. I know what it feels like
to be frustrated cause I was with my
husband 3 years before he ask me to marry
him , in sept this yr we will be together
5 years. He ask me to marry him by
saying he wanted to make things right by
getting married so I could see his level
of commitment toward me and our life
together.
Hang in there if it is meant to be it will
be, guys always have a hard shell but one
day that shell will break!
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Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Posted: 10-14-05 04:40am
Dont mean to sound harsh but if he wanted
to marry you he would. Just my opinion
because I was in a similar situation when
I was 18.
His mother had been married 5 times and
the idea of marriage to him was a joke
because it didnt mean anything.
Eventually I realized that he wasnt the
one . Later after lots of dating
different people the man I now call hubby
proposed to me after 5 months of dating.
We have been married for 2 years and I
love him now more than ever. I was 25
when we married.
I dont think you should have to
convince the man you love to marry you.
You deserve someone who wants to marry you
so badly that you are proposed to on one
knee at a special moment.
God bless
