We get a lot of people posting about how
they know someone who was forced into
having an abortion and regrets doing it,
etc. Well, i've become friends with a
girls who is now 22. She has a four year
old daughter, who was an accident.
Although she loves her daughter and tries
to be a good mother, she really regrets
not having had an abortion.
She is one of those women who isn't very
interested in children or babies. When
she got pregnant, everyone said, "it's
different when it's your own." to some
extent, she says, that's true -- you just
have to put up with it. But I have seen
her with the child -- she doesn't have an
interest in the childish behaviour that
some people think is so cute.
She blames her daughter for ruining the
plans she had for her life. When she got
pregnant, she had just started a course to
become a vet. She had to give that up.
Child care is too expensive for her to go
back to college right now. She works
part-time in a pet shop, and really just
loves looking after animals.
Adoption isn't really an option -- there's
so many teenage mothers around, and
everyone just accepts it. There is,
though, a great deal of stigma attached to
giving up a baby.
I feel sorry for the girl. And for her
child.
|
mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 09:31am
poopoopoo
wrote:
we get a lot of people
posting about how they know someone who
was forced into having an abortion and
regrets doing it, etc. Well, i've become
friends with a girls who is now 22. She
has a four year old daughter, who was an
accident. Although she loves her
daughter and tries to be a good mother,
she really regrets not having had an
abortion.
She is one of those women who isn't very
interested in children or babies. When
she got pregnant, everyone said, "it's
different when it's your own." to some
extent, she says, that's true -- you just
have to put up with it. But I have seen
her with the child -- she doesn't have an
interest in the childish behaviour that
some people think is so cute.
She blames her daughter for ruining the
plans she had for her life. When she got
pregnant, she had just started a course to
become a vet. She had to give that up.
Child care is too expensive for her to go
back to college right now. She works
part-time in a pet shop, and really just
loves looking after animals.
Adoption isn't really an option -- there's
so many teenage mothers around, and
everyone just accepts it. There is,
though, a great deal of stigma attached to
giving up a baby.
I feel sorry for the girl. And for her
child.
i feel sorry for the child. Her daughter
did not ruin her plans. Her daughter
didn't concieve herself.
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-02-05 11:00am
It's a little late now. I feel bad for
her daughter. I hope she does not grow
up to feel unloved and I hope her mother
never tells her that she regrets not
having an abortion. I knew a girl like
this a long time ago and she finally gave
her 8 yr old daughter up for adoption.
It's sad really, I just wish these girls
would get help.
|
foreverblue
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2005 Posts: 577
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 11:16am
poopoopoo
wrote:
we get a lot of people
posting about how they know someone who
was forced into having an abortion and
regrets doing it, etc. Well, i've become
friends with a girls who is now 22. She
has a four year old daughter, who was an
accident. Although she loves her
daughter and tries to be a good mother,
she really regrets not having had an
abortion.
She is one of those women who isn't very
interested in children or babies. When
she got pregnant, everyone said, "it's
different when it's your own." to some
extent, she says, that's true -- you just
have to put up with it. But I have seen
her with the child -- she doesn't have an
interest in the childish behaviour that
some people think is so cute.
She blames her daughter for ruining the
plans she had for her life. When she got
pregnant, she had just started a course to
become a vet. She had to give that up.
Child care is too expensive for her to go
back to college right now. She works
part-time in a pet shop, and really just
loves looking after animals.
Adoption isn't really an option -- there's
so many teenage mothers around, and
everyone just accepts it. There is,
though, a great deal of stigma attached to
giving up a baby.
I feel sorry for the girl. And for her
child.
.
Yet she has loads of time and love for
animals,a bit strange that.
|
mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 11:32am
foreverblue
wrote:
poopoopoo
wrote:
we get a lot of people
posting about how they know someone who
was forced into having an abortion and
regrets doing it, etc. Well, i've
become friends with a girls who is now 22.
She has a four year old daughter, who
was an accident. Although she loves
her daughter and tries to be a good
mother, she really regrets not having had
an abortion.
She is one of those women who isn't very
interested in children or babies. When
she got pregnant, everyone said, "it's
different when it's your own." to some
extent, she says, that's true -- you just
have to put up with it. But I have
seen her with the child -- she doesn't
have an interest in the childish behaviour
that some people think is so cute.
She blames her daughter for ruining the
plans she had for her life. When she
got pregnant, she had just started a
course to become a vet. She had to
give that up. Child care is too
expensive for her to go back to college
right now. She works part-time in a
pet shop, and really just loves looking
after animals.
Adoption isn't really an option -- there's
so many teenage mothers around, and
everyone just accepts it. There is,
though, a great deal of stigma attached to
giving up a baby.
I feel sorry for the girl. And for her
child.
.
Yet she has loads of time and love for
animals,a bit strange
that.
great point blue. Poopoopoo--do you want
us to feel sorry for your friend?
Because I sure don't.
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1205 Location: ,
Thanks: 34
Thanked:2
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 16:51pm
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for her?
|
steen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 1797 Location: Upper Midwest
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 18:13pm
poopoopoo
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for
her?
because m2t and the other
fundie prolifers here feel that women
should be punished for not loving to have
babies and be controlled by the theocratic
fascists.
|
mom2ty
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 87
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 19:10pm
steen
wrote:
poopoopoo
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for
her?
because m2t and the other
fundie prolifers here feel that women
should be punished for not loving to have
babies and be controlled by the theocratic
fascists.
it's so wierd how you fundie pro-deathers
feel that women are "punished" for being
"forced" to have babies! And having
babies means you are controlled by
theocratic fascists! How did you get
here steen? How is someone who makes a
choice to have sex and knows the
consequences being forced to have babies?
Don't you know that having sex is the way
babies are made? Doesn't everyone who
has half a brain know that? Isn't that
how our population was made? Our
ancestors had sex and more sex, and now we
are here. So why is it so hard to
understand that the baby didn't just force
itself in there, it was put there by mommy
and daddy. I can't help but wonder how
many of us would be here right now if
abortion was available thousands of years
ago.
|
mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-02-05 20:22pm
poopoopoo
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for
her?
please tell me one good reason that I
should feel sorry for her? She made her
choice and now she has to grow up and deal
with it.
|
leolady
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Western Australia
Posted: 06-02-05 23:16pm
Very sad. Is the father of the child
around?? Does the little girl have any
contact with him? You said in your post
that she 'tries' to be a good mother, that
doesn't sound very comforting. Does the
little girl have much contact with other
family members....Grandparents, uncles,
aunts? What would concern me the most is
the detachment and the lack of love and
contact the mother would have with this
little girl. Growing up feeling unwanted
and unloved could have detrimental effects
on this little girl and that could leave
her vulnerable and open to an array of
emotional issues for her, particularly
when she is older. Maybe your friend
could benefit if she attended a parenting
course, or even seek the advice of a
professional counsellor. To blame her
little girl for ruining her life is a very
negative view on her part. There is a
book called 'the heartache of motherhood'
(its not easy to find). It's confronting,
but very useful. I feel for this little
girl deeply.
|
leolady
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Western Australia
Posted: 06-02-05 23:43pm
Sorry, forgot to mention that the author
of the book is joy nicholson.
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1205 Location: ,
Thanks: 34
Thanked:2
Posted: 06-03-05 13:55pm
Yes, the father is around, they live
together. And the grandmother is around.
It's a perfectly stable family situation
-- bit it isn't what my friend would have
chosen had she realised in time that it
didn't have to be that way. She just
seems to feel despondent that she didn't
make a different choice, that she believed
the people who told her that keeping it
was the best idea, and that everything
would turn out all right. It is all right
-- it just isn't what she wanted.
It just seems that everyone goes on and on
about women who were talked into having
abortions they didn't want, and how they
regret them, etc. I just wanted to point
out that if you talk someone who wants an
abortion out of having one, they may not
thank you for it either.
|
steen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 1797 Location: Upper Midwest
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-03-05 16:03pm
mom2ty
wrote:
it's so wierd how you fundie
pro-deathers...
and so, we are back to
fascist fundie lies again and can start
tunig out the stupid nonsense that you
spew. So be it. You want to play games
and attack instead of dealing with issues,
fine. That is all you get back as well,
then, stupid fool fascist.
|
steen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 1797 Location: Upper Midwest
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-03-05 16:05pm
mom2trevor
wrote:
poopoopoo
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for
her?
please tell me one good reason that I
should feel sorry for her? She made her
choice and now she has to grow up and deal
with it.
because she is a woman
who has suffered distress. But your lack
of compassion, as we have come to expecty
from punitive, hate mongering prolife
misogynists is thus further confirmed.
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-03-05 16:09pm
I just hope the lil girl does not feel
unloved or unwanted.
|
mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-03-05 17:56pm
steen
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
poopoopoo
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for
her?
please tell me one good reason that I
should feel sorry for her? She made her
choice and now she has to grow up and deal
with it.
because she is a woman
who has suffered distress. But your
lack of compassion, as we have come to
expecty from punitive, hate mongering
prolife misogynists is thus further
confirmed.
well if she is so distressed why doesn't
she put the child up for adoption? Or
give it to it's father? Why doesn't she
seek counseling? I refuse to feel sorry
for her. She exercised her *right* to
choose. Ain't that what you all want so
bad?
|
oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1205 Location: ,
Thanks: 34
Thanked:2
Posted: 06-03-05 21:26pm
Good lord, it is all so black and white
for some folks! As I said, she is with
the father. She is close to her family.
They cope. They are not on drugs or
abusive or alcoholic or living off
benefits. People do not simply hand over
four year old children like they do
unwanted pets, do they? They just cope.
They get on with things. But they would
be happier now if they hadn't had her.
|
mom2ty
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 87
Posted: 06-03-05 21:50pm
Poopoopoo, I don't know if I really even
believe the assertions that you are making
that this girl really wishes she had an
abortion. Just because she's unhappy
sometimes or maybe sometimes wishes things
were different or misses her old life
doesn't mean she regrets having her child.
Are you sure that you arn't just assuming
that she feels this way. Or are you maybe
just making this whole thing up just to
prove a point? If she's so unhappy, why
isn't she the one here stating how much
she regrets it? Who are you to say that
these people would be happier without her?
You don't know what's in their hearts.
If it is true and she really does feel
that way, then I really do feel sorry for
her daughter. I wouldn't feel sorry for
her at all. Life sucks sometimes, but
sometime you gotta suck it up and deal
with it and make the best out of what life
hands you. I think i've made this
argument a thousand times, but she made
her choice to have sex and this was the
outcome, she shouldn't be blaming the
child for her actions. But once again, I
dont' think she really feels this way, I
think this whole thing was just a sad
attempt for you to make an argument.
|
mom2trevor
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Dec 2004 Posts: 694 Location: VA
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-03-05 21:53pm
steen
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
poopoopoo
wrote:
mom2trevor
wrote:
do you want us to feel sorry
for your friend? Because I sure
don't.
why don't you feel sorry for
her?
please tell me one good reason that I
should feel sorry for her? She made her
choice and now she has to grow up and deal
with it.
because she is a woman
who has suffered distress. But your
lack of compassion, as we have come to
expecty from punitive, hate mongering
prolife misogynists is thus further
confirmed.
steen it has nothing to do with misogony
or hate mongering. It has to do with
people being grown up enough to realize
that *they* have made their decision and
they have to live with that fact. So you
can spew all of your irrelevent names if
you like. Haven't you made decisions that
you don't like or wish you hadn't have
made? What do you do? Certainly you
can't change the past...So you grow up and
deal with it.
|
steen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 1797 Location: Upper Midwest
Re: Regretting Not Aborting Posted: 06-04-05 00:42am
mom2trevor
wrote:
steen it has nothing to do
with misogony or hate mongering. It has
to do with people being grown up enough to
realize that *they* have made their
decision and they have to live with that
fact.
the point here is not her
decision, but rather your reaction to it.
It is you I am calling to task for being
a heartless misogynist.
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