Ending a Relationship Forum - When Is Enough Enough?


When Is Enough Enough?

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subie90

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Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 19
Location: Louisville,Ky.

When Is Enough Enough? Posted: 06-03-05 19:30pm


Is all long term marriage late in life like this? Having to constantly put the toilet seat down, put the new toilet paper on the spindle, spread the damp wet towels out so they will dry? Lift the lid to the laundry hamper to place the dirty clothes inside of it instead of on it. Picking up dishes that never seem to make it to the sink, straightening and picking up the pillows that go on the furniture. Throwing away the hair clump that is always left on the bathroom counter instead of in the waste basket. Pulling up the comforter half off into the floor and back up onto the bed where it belongs, picking up dirty socks and walking them to the clothes hamper, untwisting the pillowcases around the bedpillows so they will lay flat on the bed, hanging up clean clothes so they look clean when they are put back on, turning off every light in the house after someone leaves the room and leaves them on, this includes multiple t.V. Sets! This man is 49 years old, and his mother was nothing like this. I have given up nagging that is pointless. But I am wondering if it is worth it to spend the rest of my life with constant annoyances, do other normal people live this way? Please respond......

cindylouwho8i

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Joined: 03 Jun 2005
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Location: pennsylvania

Love Concures All Posted: 06-03-05 19:38pm


Hi, I know exactly how you feel, I clean after mine all the time. It used to annoy me really bad but then I got over it. If you think like I do if you really love him you would be able to deal with it. And if not just ask him nicely and tell him that you dont like picking up after him all the time. And if he loves you then he will understand.

majortrouble13

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Joined: 03 Jun 2005
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Location: Louisville

Omg Posted: 06-03-05 20:46pm


Please tell me you're not my boyfriends mom. Do you have a son named josh? Am I going to pick up after him all my life too? Does getting married mean you're a slave?

majortrouble13

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Joined: 03 Jun 2005
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Location: Louisville

Omg Squared Posted: 06-03-05 20:52pm


Sorry, was freakin out there. I know the answer to this. Yes. It will always be like this. He will not change. His habits before marriage will not change after. He especially will not change if you push him too. That "if you really love him. . . " stuff is crap. How about if he really loves you he'll grow up and pick up after his own damn self?!?! Men really are what you see is what you get. Good luck.

Pilleus

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Re: When Is Enough Enough?
Posted: 06-13-05 10:28am

subie90 wrote:

is all long term marriage late in life like this? Having to constantly put the toilet seat down, put the new toilet paper on the spindle, spread the damp wet towels out so they will dry? Lift the lid to the laundry hamper to place the dirty clothes inside of it instead of on it. Picking up dishes that never seem to make it to the sink, straightening and picking up the pillows that go on the furniture. Throwing away the hair clump that is always left on the bathroom counter instead of in the waste basket. Pulling up the comforter half off into the floor and back up onto the bed where it belongs, picking up dirty socks and walking them to the clothes hamper, untwisting the pillowcases around the bedpillows so they will lay flat on the bed, hanging up clean clothes so they look clean when they are put back on, turning off every light in the house after someone leaves the room and leaves them on, this includes multiple t.V. Sets! This man is 49 years old, and his mother was nothing like this. I have given up nagging that is pointless. But I am wondering if it is worth it to spend the rest of my life with constant annoyances, do other normal people live this way? Please respond......

are you sure you're not talking about my husband? You left out the little piles of paper and mail, change, screws and work tools that get stacked up on the coffee tables, kitchen tables and nightstands.

I've given up nagging him about it to. It is pointless. People like this are slobs and will never, ever change.

subie90

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Joined: 31 May 2005
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Location: Louisville,Ky.

Posted: 06-13-05 21:14pm


Thank you! And how could I forget all the piles on all of the tables! I know you are right, but the first year we were together he did not do all of this. I know they put thier best foot forward until they get good and in! Thanks for the reply. I'm glad there are others. I just consider it my job, look at it that way. Especially since I just quit a job i'd had for 10 years. Now I tell him, I work for him! Ha.

Pilleus

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Posted: 06-14-05 09:57am


Subie, my husband and I both work full time jobs. He's still in the bed when I leave and he usually arrives home before I do. He has more freedom at work as far as coming and going and is responsible for turning in his own time. What really chaps my ass is he doesn't even have the sense to wash his dirty breakfast dishes that he uses. He just leaves them in the sink and expects me to wash them all and the coffee maker. I don't eat breakfast or drink coffee. I normally drink a yogurt smoothie in the car on the way to work. He has never once offered to vacuum, dust or help clean the apartment. We recently moved into a bigger apartment and he now has his own bathroom. I am not going to touch it. He can clean it himself. One more thing.... Do men even know how to operate washing machines? When we were still dating he used to live with his half brother and stepmom. He moved in with them after his divorce. He used to tell me how eric would leave dirty dishes, garbage, laundry, etc. For kathy to clean up. So I thought he was someone who was conscious of doing stuff like that and wouldn't be a slob.. Boy was I wrong. Ok i'm done now!!! :roll:

subie90

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Joined: 31 May 2005
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Location: Louisville,Ky.

Posted: 06-14-05 16:11pm


Mine does the very same things. Sometimes I just shake my head back and forth as I am cleaning up after him. No they don't know how to operate washers and dryers, and if they tried they'd just foul it all up giving us that much more to have to go behind and fix and correct and clean up!! I always say if we buy another house we are having 2 bathrooms! That's another thing also around here that gripes me the most. And I will not clean his man bathroom either just like you don't. Thanks. Subie90

Pilleus

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Posted: 06-15-05 06:03am


Last night he had a coworker come over to help pull some cable into the living room for our entertainment center. They had to go up in the space above the ceiling to install it. Anyway after his friend left he was pulling and yanking on it and it disconnected all our cable to the both tv's and computers. He got all angry and starting yelling and screaming. At one point he told me f(# you! That was not the first time this has happened in our marriage. I told him I was going to divorce his sorry a$$. I took a xanax and went to sleep after that. This morning he had left me a note saying how sorry he was and he was just very frustrated and he didn't mean it. I left him a note saying I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. Also that none of my other ex-boyfriends, even on their worst days ever said that to me. Maybe his ex-wife put up with that crap but not me. What kind of man says f&@ you to his wife? :

Turkish

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Joined: 30 Apr 2008
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It's not just men Posted: 04-30-08 10:00am


Even though I am a man I like my house to be kept clean. I like it when I can walk into the house and just relax because everything looks nice and when you need something you don't have to look all over because it was never put away. My mother was a pack rat so things were kept all over our house when I was growing up. My mother still does the same thing to this day. I have been living with my girlfriend for 2 years now. When we first started living together she would help out with keeping the house clean. Over the last few months she not lifted a finger when it comes to cleaning. I find myself always cooking dinner then cleaning up after it. I am always making sure that the bathroom is clean and that we have clean towels and sheets to sleep on. I make the bed every day. And I have to make sure that both of our laundry is picked up off the floor and finds its way into the hamper. I want her to start helping out with the house cleaning again but I don't just want to have the house become a mess so that she has no choice but to help clean. I just want her to want to help me with keeping our home clean.

Willa Weintraub

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Posted: 05-01-08 08:30am


I suggest all of you sit down with your partner and talk about this. Maybe have set things each of you should do at a certain tim of the week together so no one is neglected. Ask them how they would feel if they were constantly picking up after you! I did this when I lived with my ex and we both did chores at the same time on the same day every week.