I don't know whats happening to me. Its
just getting too difficult to continue on.
Every night I plan to die the next day
and its getting so real yet its so
different because i'm not scared at all, I
want to get it over with, I want to die.
I don't know how things have changed but
they have and its just so weird. I have
no want to stay around, none at all and
even though I have made some great friends
in the past while I just can't get rid of
the want to die. Its getting so strong
even more then it used to be and i;m not
sure where I am going to end up.
I think its the summer because usually in
summer I am very happy and everything
seems great but this summer is different,
its not like the others. Although the sun
is shinning and the weather is good I am
still in the dark, there is only darkness
and I can't get away from it.
I hate this so much, I just want it to
end, I want it all to be over.
I don't know why i'm writing this here but
I have so i'm sorry to those who had to
read this, don't mind me i'm just mad.
I hope you are all well!
|
poetmcc
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 273
Posted: 06-08-05 15:42pm
Hey you are sounding let down again. You
sound so confident when you give others
advice, no one would ever know how much
you are suffering.
I think a lot of us can relate to how you
feel right now, I feel like I am in the
drak even though my eating disorder seems
to have gotten better on its own...But I
did horrible on my final exams, I feel
this is just another mark of failure in
life and how worthless I am.
So I can relate to you right now and
unfortunately the only advice I have is to
hang in there, life is a bumpy ride and
the journey out of an eating disorder is
arduos and steep but you'll getthere. Try
to cheer up hun, think of something you
enjoy and talk to your therapists, pm me
if you want . I am there for you.
"everything will be all right in the end
and if its not all right it is not the
end." smile- it can only make your day
bright.
I am thinking of you, keep posting on how
you're doing and live as much as you can.
Life is too short to be spent worrying
about dying and evn though you feel that
way, it will get better as it used to be
before this happened.
|
hurt28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 49 Location: lowell
Posted: 06-12-05 08:19am
Hey hun im feeling the same way to right
now...The only reason I wanted help for my
e.Dis because I dont want to die..But
lately I dont care I just feel like
letting go and I just want to end my life
right now...I have tried so many times
before...I have o.D but no one ever found
out and I dunno I was o.K with the fact I
may never wake up again as long as I was
not on earth..Maby I just think there is
something better than this place and it
will be alot easier??? I dunno??? Well
hun I will ttyl ok byebye
|
deathx
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2004 Posts: 118
Posted: 07-03-05 20:45pm
Aint been around for long and it pains me
to hear what your going through. The
reason your prolly not enjoying summer is
because of your mood, now your seeing
other people outside been happy and the
days are longer and its harder to hide
away in actually darkness and its expected
for people to be out in the summer. Alas,
there are more suicides in summer than in
winter i.E xmas/new year.
