Was a Raped Or Was It My Fault?

I agree with everything people have said. It was rape, and you need to talk to people about it...

I will just add to my pp that I wish I had someone to talk about my experience then, I think my life would have been different.


I am ok, now and I have a loving and supportive husband :d but I have been through abusive relationships and battled low self esteem and other things I am not proud of ... I believe that the rape experience had a lot to do with it.


Best of luck to you miranda, if you are still here :) feel free to pm me if you want to talk.


~ flutter :)

What he did was criminal, and immoral.

If you have the courage, say something, there may be others who he victimized and you could use someone to talk to.

If you do not have the courage, take comfort that judgment day will come, and he will justice will be served then.

Live with no guilt, you did nothing wrong.

Pm me if you need.

You need to report him.
Like a lot of people have said, it is rape, horrible rape.
And with your age, it's even worse.
I'm not that much older than you, but I know what it's like.

Getting it out was a good start, and very smart, but reporting him to the police would be an even better thing.

It might seem hard because that's your friend's brother, but it's his fault for doing such things to a girl so young.
Does your friend know? I recommend little her know what her brother did to you, because he is likely to try doing it to someone else too.

Good luck dear.

I totaly agree with all the people saying it was rape. There is no reason for his actions. And I believe that you being so young that with the kissing and touching was more of a need for sensual touching not sexual when he took it as sexual and took advantage of you it is rape.

It was rape. When things like that happen, it's the #1 thing that angers me off. I know a few friends who have been raped, i'm kinda alot of my friends "big brother" now because I do not tolerate that. Tell someone, make sure he doesn't get away with the feeling of satisfaction while you emotional suffer. Talking to people about this is probably one of the hardest things to do, but you must do it.

Good luck with everything

This topic is over 5 months old, please look at the date and stop reviving old topics that have died out so many times already.

Sorry hun, but yes u were raped

That's completely rape. If you tell him no over and over thats rape.

And its not your fault either.
You didn't really know what was going to happen.
And it was too late when you said no.
He thought you wanted it when you didn't.

Don't blame yourself. When you tell someone to stop and they don't then its forced and rape!

Once u say no, and he goes ahead, it is rape. Thats the defination. I would never take advantage of a woman like that, its in-human. Go to his house wen he is sleepin, and stick a needle into his penis, and let it penetrate his sak. Run away fast. Call him the next day, and say: wut u gonna do, call the cops? U raped me, remember, according to the law. Lol! Seriously, I kno sum1 who did sumtin similar. Or, leas him on again, and bring rope and a blind fold. Say u wanna try sumtin new, and tie him onto the bed, and cover his eyes, and stick the needle into him!

:twisted: it was rape, I am sorry it happened to you. This guy needs his teeth knock down his throat. :evil:

Thank you jma1, you are so right. I will pray too. I cant believe some of the suckers in this world that can read that and say it was her fault. My little sister is 13, and if that ever happened to her I would beat all of the snot out of that inconsiderate little twit. Sorry-getting carried away. That was definitely rape. If you say no, and he doesnt care-point blank-its rape. There are no ifs ands or buts when it comes to that.

I felt I had to reply to this one when I saw it and read it..

You were definitely raped. Even if it started out fine, but as soon as you told him no or to stop, he persisted doing that which turns it into rape.

I was raped when I was 14 years old. I went to a friends party, got a crush on a guy there, turns out he was quite older (was 20 or 21). I went into one of the rooms to turn the stereo down and he followed. We kissed for a little bit, then asked if I wanted to have sex. I told him no I didn't. He seemed fine with it and we started to kiss again. Then he pinned me down on the bed and started taking my clothes off of me. I was a little over 5' tall, this guy was seriously 6'5" tall. I couldn't move, I just kept yelling so he turned the radio on full blast so no one could hear me and locked the door so I couldn't get out. I kept telling him to stop and leave me alone, hitting him, crying, and couldn't get him off of me. Whenever he was finished, he left immediately. I just layed there crying and disgusted with myself. All the guys just figured we had sex and was "wooting" cheering me on. I couldn't take it anymore and had one of my friends to take me home. A very silent car ride.

I couldn't tell anyone, I was too ashamed. A couple weeks later, I found out the guy was my bestfriends friend. I told him how I hated that guy and he asked me why since I only met him one time. Well, I told him what the guy did to me. He was furious and stormed out. Later that night, I got a call from him asking me if I was certain it was that guy, and I said yes.. Well, him and his buddies ended up beating the crap out of the guy and left him in the middle of a road. I was happy about that, but still felt disgusted with myself. When I was 17, I found out the same guy who raped me, also raped many other girls. He would hire a prostitute, rape them, beat the crap out of them leaving them for dead, and take their money. Not even a few months later after I found out he did that stuff, he killed himself. Overdosed on some pills purposely.

I was also drugged and molested by my own uncle when I was 16, who was practically a father to me. He put some drug (roofie I think they said it was) in my drink, and same with my brothers drink. Probably 4 hours later when I woke up, my uncle was down there doing things to me telling me "be quiet, let me just this one time, i'll buy you anything you want". Luckily I got out of there, but my mom didn't believe me or didn't want to since it was her own brother. She threw me in the bath tub with all of my clothes on. I stole her car later that day and went to the police. The police didn't want to do anything for me but charge me with grand theft auto, luckily the district attorneys office wouldn't allow it. I got so mad with them calling me a liar, kept saying "why would your own uncle do that to you?" that I just left. The next day I had a detective show up at the door. I didn't want to talk to him thinking all he was going to do is call me a liar like the police kept doing. He actually believed me. He had already spoken with my uncle and knew he wasn't right in the head and knew he had done it.

Unfortuanately, because my mom threw me in the tub, there was no "proof" he had done anything to me. They have it on file, and if he messes up again with anyone, he's going to prison for a long time. I'm hoping he takes the same actions as the other guy did.

I'm now going on 21, and I still have nightmares about it all. I can't have someone perform oral sex on me because I freak out with flashbacks. It has caused me to have low self esteem for the longest time. I haven't been able to fully trust a man because of it all. I have worked through a lot of my problems on my own.. But a lot of the memories are still there.

If anyone ever needs someone to talk to about this stuff, they're more than welcome to pm me. It'd be nice talking to someone who could relate. My bf knows about it all.. But he just doesn't understand.

Miranda, this was rape simply because at yr age, you were way 2 young to be f*d.He is older than you are and shld have a better sense of judgement.

It was not yr fault dear. Just let go and face d future. All is well.

No means no! ! ! Take his ass to court.I was in a similar situation and I wish I wouls have handled it differently.Trust me,do what you feel you need to do

Mellissa, would you like to share your story too?:)

There is a simple answer to this... If you're wondering whether you got raped, yes you did get raped... If you didn't, there would be no confusion. You said stop, he didn't stop, that's rape. You can say you want to have sex with him, you can start having sex with him, but if you want him to stop and he won't, no matter what you did before that, he started raping you from the moment you told him or indicated that you didn't want him to anymore. You were 12/13 years old, you thought you wanted something, and then realised during that you didn't anymore, you're allowed to change your mind and have the complete right to stop at any time. He was in his late teens and should not have come onto you at your age. I prayed for you... Go get some help and don't feel weird or guilty... You agreed to sex, not rape... Sex is consentual from the beginning to the end, not half way through

I have a story to share since urs really touched me

i was 17 and met a guy who was just gorgeous anyways we started dating and had sex quite often, joe got into drugs and started mentally abusing me telling em who I could and not hang out with how I could live my life etc and I loved him so much I stayed with him. So anyways we were doing the deed one day (we always used protection) I was on the pill and him using a condom he tried to go in me without a condom and I said no he had to wear it he was like its better without but I didnt want to take any chances he didnt listen pinned me down and continued what he was doing I ended up preggers because of his stupid escapade when I told him no. To be honest with you I cried after its hard to admit but I just felt so gross and abused but what was worse is I still stayed with him and never reported it but I did leave him 2 weeks after my mom literally dragged me out.

I stopped dating men and never thought of sex cause I was afraid of it afraid of what could happen, for a whole year I stayed sober and didnt look twice at a man I almost thought I was a lesbian or that was my destiny. I met my husband on my 18th bday and we starting dating I cant believe I said yes but I was drunk lol anyways he got mad at me cause I wouldt do the deed I told him what happened and he was so understanding I actually enjoyed sex with him as well I felt I could talk to him about anything so I knew he was the one I was to be with although there is a big age difference between us I was 18 athe time and he was 26. Everything was awesome with hubby but joe came back in my life and started calling me everyday on my boyfriends cell, he started stalking me and just got really weird hubby promised he would protect me and because of my husband strength I finally had the courage to put joe in his space. I called the cops one day because joe was standing at the fence in my backyard but the cops wouldnt do anything till he stepped on my property which would have been to late for three years and even to this date im terrified I cant sleep at night unless my husband is at home it still bothers me to this day its a f78king nightmare..

Please honestly do something about it call the cops, in my case its different I was called a liar etc because I had a record as a teen and it was just horrible I so hope this guys suffers what he deserves its not right!!!

Sorry for the long post but no woman should have to go through this
jess