I found out I was pregnant last january,
and told my boyfriend right away about
it.. He was thrilled and everything and
he started working double shifts a day for
the baby.. When he moved in with me few
months ago, I finally got to know the real
him.. He doesnt even know how to treat a
pregnant girlfriend :!: when I wanted to
eat something he wouldnt get it for me coz
he thinks im making him do things on
purpose..
We always fight physically, he doesnt beat
me up or anything, im the one punching
scratching and kicking him.. Probably
bcoz of the emotions I feel during
pregnancy.. And he'd just squeeze my arms
really really tight till it hurts.. And
he always tells me that, "wait for your
time" I think he meant after pregnancy he
could actually hit me or something.. Plus
we also break things inside the house when
we fight.. (he slammed my laptop on the
floor) :cry: and this always gets my
sister involve as a referee..
Our parents wants us to get married.. But
I don't know.. I also worry bout him
having an affair with somebody.. He
always go home at 4am in the morning..
He's just uncontrolable.. He doesn't
wanna listen.. And just recently he told
me he wants to move out bcoz we are always
fighting and maybe us being separated
could help our relationship.. Is he worth
marrying?? I could make the biggest
decision in life..
Please help,
kaela
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tomz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 62 Location: Pennsylvania
Posted: 06-12-05 02:56am
Pinky:
i don't think either your boyfriend and
you are ready for marriage. If you
decide to get married, I would get much
premarital counseling to work out the
differences and your expectations.
I don't think you are ready to be parents
either. If both you and your boyfriend
cannot have a peaceful co-existance with
one another, you will only bring this
garbage into your childs life.
I think you need to talk to your
parents/adults your respect to give you
advise. I believe you should consider
what is best for your baby. Based upon
your questions, I would believe it would
be best to put your baby up for adoption
considering your circumstances.
You need to take a look within, a baby
will change your life bigtime. It can be
great, but it takes much time and
commitment. It is not easy with two
parents, and more difficult with one
parent in its life at a time.
My wife and I have a 21 month baby boy.
Our son brings much joy to our lives.
But we both have becomes selfless to put
his needs above our own. We don't take
lightly the responsibility of being
parents and both take responsibility to
give him the time he needs to nuture.
You need to get some help to solve this
situation.
Tom
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pinkbutterfly20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Posts: 72 Location: MD
Posted: 06-13-05 10:22am
Tom,
thanks for the advise...
We tend to fight on childish things.. I
guess we're still not over being a
teenager yet. Im glad he moved in with me
before we got married, it could have been
a real mess. About the baby, he mentioned
that whatever happens to us, i'll have his
support all the way. (he even told me
that if I give birth and if one of us
should die, he hope it's not the baby :(
) you know those things he sometimes joked
about hurts me.. Sometimes I find the
conclusion that he's not inlove with me
anymore. Wish im not pregnant =( I
could've got rid of him long time ago..
But im still holding on, coz I want to
prove to everybody their wrong. That
sometimes unwanted pregnancy can also
build a family.
Kaela =(
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mandywib
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 42
Posted: 06-21-05 15:15pm
If you want to prove everything
wrong...Get out of that relationship with
the guy..And you support the baby....If he
says he will help support the baby
therefore you will get child support, my
mom raised my brother and I after my
parents split...My mom made 7$ an hour and
she made sure we had every thing we needed
and some things that we wanted...My
brother and I were much happier with out
our dad, you need to talk to your parents
and tell them how he treats you and if
your not ready for a baby than contact an
adoption agencey so you can grow up. But
whatever you decide to do just be careful
and always put the baby first because it
didnt choose to be born in a situation
like you have, you and your boyfriend are
the one that made that happen so don't let
that change how you treat the baby.
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pinkbutterfly20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Posts: 72 Location: MD
Posted: 06-22-05 00:41am
Thanks for the advice mandy...
Well here's an update, we had a big fight
just last night. I think I smacked him 5
times... I got him out of the house in
the middle of the night coz I can't
control myself and i'm worrying about the
baby about the emotional stress im going
through... The following morning (this
morning) he came back packing up all his
stuff and then left...
Right now, im just keeping myself busy and
I had to admit, im still depressed about
what happened to us...
I still love him :cry:
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CPL_JJ
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2005 Posts: 124 Location: Top of the world, bitches
Posted: 07-06-05 16:20pm
pinkbutterfly20
wrote:
thanks for the advice
mandy...
Well here's an update, we had a big fight
just last night. I think I smacked him 5
times... I got him out of the house in
the middle of the night coz I can't
control myself and i'm worrying about the
baby about the emotional stress im going
through... The following morning (this
morning) he came back packing up all his
stuff and then left...
Right now, im just keeping myself busy and
I had to admit, im still depressed about
what happened to us...
I still love him
:cry:
this is why so many women are abused, they
think they love the guy and think he'll
change, and he won't. He'll keep on
beating her, but it's ok, cause she still
loves him. Suck up your caca and move to
a new town. I'm sick of women complaining
about this caca, you know what you have to
do, so do it.
