I can understand your reasoning with
working that hard for something.
Although I would try not to let it go much
further but that is your decision to make.
Having children only puts more stress on
a situation and you can actually come to
resent a person instead of growing closer.
Best of luck in whatever you do. Just
remember though your clock is ticking if
you do want children. Guess it depends
on what you want more.
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-05 10:42am
So true. I love my music so much and I
know I would have to give it up if I had a
kid. I'm already 40 so I don't know if
it's a good idea to have a baby this late.
I've always considered adoption or even
foster parenting as an option.
My husband has hepatitis c which I found
out about after I got married. So that
scares me too.
I knew he didn't want kids before we got
married but at the time I didn't want to
lose him. I know I made a mistake then,
I had no business marrying him and i'm
paying for it now.
As they say, you make your bed now you
have to lie in it. That's what i'm doing
allright lying through my teeth every day.
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tarbaby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2005 Posts: 19
Posted: 06-13-05 10:49am
That is one phrase I have heard one too
many times lately. I cannot stand it.
Everyone deserves a 2nd chance! Life is
hard enough not to be with someone who
makes you happy and you are happy with.
Also 40 is not too old to have children.
There will just be more risks involved.
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-05 10:56am
I'm also attracted to one of the guys in
my band. He is my husband's best friend.
I know he's attracted to me too.
Nothing is going to happen but believe me
I think about it alot. I have sexual
dreams about him frequently as well.
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tarbaby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2005 Posts: 19
Posted: 06-13-05 11:02am
I would get yourself together first before
attempting anything new.
Although on the other hand sometimes its
easier to make changes that need to be
made when you have support. I knew I
wanted out of my marriage awhile before I
did anything. Meeting someone on-line
that I fell in love with gave me the
strength to finally say enough. I don't
know if anything will happen with this
other relationship or not. I love this
person and am willing to wait. Just
having that person be there for me
emotionally (if you can say that being as
far apart as we are) was a great help.
This person wasn't the cause of the
divorce but he sure made it a hell of a
lot easier to deal with.
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-05 11:10am
I am not going to pursue a relationship
with the guy I was referring to.
He is very single and I am not.
Wouldn't mind doing him though. Lol
i want to be single for a while after I
get out of this marriage, when it finally
happens. I'll need some time to get
things sorted out.
I don't have any close female friends and
don't have anyone to confide in. I
appreciate your advice tarbaby.
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tarbaby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2005 Posts: 19
Posted: 06-13-05 11:35am
Anytime!
What type of music does your band play?
I'm 37 myself and have 2 small children.
Shouldn't have married the person I did
but you know what they say. It's later
the rose colored glasses come off. Or
hindsight is always 20/20.
I'm trying to learn from the previous
mistakes. Also I know what qualities I
want in a person now.
Feel free to pm me if you want.
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-13-05 11:51am
Lol! That's a line my husband likes to
say that i'm wearing rose colored glasses.
We play current, heavy rock and
alternative music. Let's keep in
touch, but I gotta get back to work for a
while.
Thanks again tarbaby. I appreciate
talking with you.
