23 Year Old Male. Suffering For 13 Years. My Story.

I just came across this board while serfing the web for new self anxiety treatments sence I dont have health inssurance atm and cant afford meds or counceling.

Let me tell you a bit about my anxiety because when I did have a counceler he said I wasnt alone.. And while I wanted to beleive him which im sure I should have.. I have my doubts that im the only one in the world who feels like this.


Fear of traveling. The only reason I fear traveling is because I fear getting sick. Vomiting or diahrea while going places.

I also get sweats.. Heart racing. Weakness throughout my body.


I first remeber anxiety when I was little. Going to church.. Always thinking im gonna be there for an hour. And I dont know what it was but I would get stomach aches.. Pains.. Throwing up diahrea etc.. And days when I didnt go I immediatly felt better.. And every time I did make it there.. I would feel horrible the entire time.. Sweating. Cramps pains.. Lightheaded..

I had anxiety all through highschool.. Being "inside" the school for 8 periods a day.. No escape so to speak.. Had my anxiety in overdrive all the time.. I was always getting sick in school.. Running to the bathroom. And yet I still hid it. No one knew I had anxiety.. I became that good at hiding it all.

Fastforward to very recently.


The other night. I went out on a date (had no choice. Friend hooked me up and I couldnt say no.) so we went to a spot near a river probably 5 min away from my house. Been there a 100 times before etc.

Probably 5 min after we were there chatting listening to music I felt it.
The anxiety, my heart raced.. I started sweating and feeling very very hot. Probably 1-2 min later I had to get out of my truck and throw up. Within 30 seconds of being done.. I immediatly felt better. Not fully but the overwhelming part was over.. She laughed at me.. Thank god.. I figured she would have freaked out. But she laughed and said.. Well thats the first time I made a guy so nervous he lost his lunch. She was really nice about it which helped.

Another situation.

2 years ago I had to go to my brothers graduation 3 hours away. Before leaving as a premtive strike.. I took some pepto bismol and tylonol to be prepaired for any pain.

I made the trip.. Dunno if that helped or not but I guess I just stayed relaxed.. And made it.

After there I was a bit of a nervous wreck. I didnt really eat for the 2 days I was in town. And before leaving to come home I had terrible vomiting and diarhea.. Took some more tylonol and pepto and came home. I survived.. But it could have been worse and better.


I guess my main symptoms are fear of getting sick and needing a bathroom and actually just getting rapidly sick while out doing whatever. For a time I didnt leave my house after I flunked out of my first college because of the anxiety and not being able to get to class without being sick and able to concentrate.

I tried paxil and therapy. They worked well but when my health inssurance ran out that was it.. On my own.

I guess ive dealt with it ok so far.. I avoid situations that might lead to me getting sick.. Going to clubs, traveling. Anything really.

Ive missed out on alot of my life. And I know that now and that brings on depression and the thought that ill never have a life.

About 2 years ago I gave up emotions. I stoped caring. Loving hating. I gave them all up. I didnt want to meet people.. Love people even bother interacting.. It helped but I realized.. Life isnt a single player game. I needed to interact with people to get anywhere. So I found a job at the local mall running a computer cafe place.. Which was great. I could sit and play computers like at home and it was a very relaxing atmosphere.

I suppose I have made some strides to help myself. And some strides to simply protect myself. I know it now and have no problems saying it. Im scared beyond belief about trying to break the cycle.

And thats my story. I wanted to post to not only get it out there. But to see if anyone else out there has similiar problems/symptoms when dealing with the same type activities as me.

If you have had similiar things happen and have found some way to help ease them. Please by all means post back and let me know. Im always looking for new ways to cope/deal with my anxiety.