Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 2 Location: Chester County
Help Me..i Want My Life Back!! Posted: 11-14-03 09:22am
Hi my name is sarah. I am 20 years old
and I have 3 children (all by the same
father). I have two boys and one girl
ranging from ages 14 months to 4 years
old. I had my first child when I was
16...My first son, his name is damen. He
is my little heart and he looks just like
his father. My second child, (my second
son) donnell, is 2 years old.(well, he'll
be two in january). Then my thrid, my
little angel. Daniella. She is 14
months, my little baby. Now myself and
my fathers children, are in a interracial
relationship. He is black. My children
are mixed. My family disowns my children
because of their race. My father won't
touch them or even see them. I love my
children, and I work and fulltime job..I
just want my dad to love my kids the way
he loved me. How can I slowly push him
away from the racism? I don't know what
to do. The holidays are coming up and my
father refuses to invite my fiancee and my
children. Does that mean I don't
go!?!?!?!? Please help!
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Suzy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2003 Posts: 530
Posted: 11-15-03 02:31am
That is a very sad story, and I really
sympathize with your situation, but your
parents are being very harsh and you are
right in saying they are racist.
Unfortunately interracial relationships
are not often accepted by the older
generation, which is completely and
utterly wrong, as we are all human beings
no matter what colour we are. I'll be
straight with you, if it were me in your
position and my father would not welcome
my husband along to the family christmas
dinner table, then I would have my own
christmas dinner at my own house and
invite a few friends to join us. In no
way, shape or form would I entertain my
fathers racist beliefs especially when it
comes to my family. These are your
children we are talking about here, your
flesh and blood, and your father has no
right to disown them because they are a
different nationality to him. My husband
has dutch blood, and if my father ever
told me hubby and the kids weren't invited
to christmas because they are dutch, I
would tell him quite firmly to stick it
fair up his butt. I would be so hurt and
angry. Stand up for your hubby and
children, if your father wants to be that
cruel that's fine, but he does not deserve
to have you at the dinner table without
the rest of your family. By not going to
christmas dinner at your fathers house,
you are stating loud and clear that you
are disgusted in his non acceptance of
your family. Your hubby and kids must be
extremely hurt by all this, at a time when
family's are supposed to rejoice and spend
quality time together.
Good luck, and I hope you have a lovely
christmas.
Suzy
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phil dennison
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 71 Location: illinois
Posted: 11-16-03 21:57pm
Your children are a gift from god.Your
children come first.Your father comes
last.Your father is racist. No longer
think of him as your family.You have a
family.Get used to it,get over it,get on
with your life.
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TX_momy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 120 Location: TX
to Mybabiesandme ! Posted: 01-07-04 19:51pm
I know what you talking about..... I am
married to a black man and thank. God my
family it's ok with it , they love hem....
I feel so bad for what is happening to
you ... I just break contact with my
father because you don't want to show your
children it's ok to be a freaking racist
these
kind of people make me very mad... I know
it might be hard becaus he is you father
but you got to do what you got to do....
Maybe you can tell hem it's the inside
that counts and not the looks! I would
write hem a card like a "i'm sorry" card
and tell hem in there that you are sorry
that he feels that way but you
love
your husband and you are not tring to give
up or break up your family just because of
hes coldhearted decision, and he is the
one who haves to live with knowing he
doese have a daughther and 3 grand
children that are very beautiful. You
know everybody is unique just the way god
made us, it be very boring up in here
if
we all look alike don't you think ?
So just let that man know..... And don't
stress yourself about it... Your kids and
husband need you !
these
kind of people make me very mad... I know
it might be hard becaus he is you father
but you got to do what you got to do....
Maybe you can tell hem it's the inside
that counts and not the looks! I would
write hem a card like a "i'm sorry" card
and tell hem in there that you are sorry
that he feels that way but you 
love 
if
we all look alike don't you think ?
