|
AMOMc
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Posts: 1
|
My Husband Refuses to Bathe. Help!!
Posted: 06-15-05 21:49pm
|
|
|
|
Please help me. I don't know what to do.
My husband hardly ever takes showers!
About 2 to maybe 5 a month. I know this
sounds mean, but he always smells
terrible. He's always been this way, and
over time (7 years), i've just learned to
deal with it. He's so sweet and loving
and great in every other way, and I love
him so much. But, here's the thing: now
i'm pregnant and always nauseous. Almost
every smell makes it worse. Especially
his. Whenever he tries to kiss or hug me
or something, I feel like i'm going to
throw up and have to hold my breath. I
hate having to do that. He can
definately tell ''something's up'', but I
can't bring myself to tell him that he
smells bad. This time I think it's been
about a week and a half since the last
time he's bathed. Plus, our air
conditioner has been broken for about that
long, and he's been sweating a lot. I
absolutely cannot be intimate with him!
Tonight the smell was so unbearable that I
asked him if I could cut his hair, so he
would want to take a shower (to wash the
hair off). But he just wiped off the
hair with a wet washcloth and got in bed.
I told him that there was probably some
hair still on him and that he would be
itchy all night, so it would be good to
take a shower, so he did. But, on top of
all this, he has stopped wearing deodorant
(hasn't worn it in a few months). I
don't know why. He has some, but won't
put it on. So I only get relief for like
the first few hours after he's had a
shower. I don't mean to sound selfish.
But I really need help. What is a nice
way to talk to him about this? I don't
want to hurt his feelings. I've tried
saying ''come take a shower with me'' and
that works, but I don't want to have to do
that forever! I shouldn't have to
''make'' him do it. I don't think. Any
advice would be so greatly appreciated!
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
lil mama3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 68
Location: houston
|
Posted: 06-15-05 22:08pm
|
|
|
|
|
So have u tryed asking or telling him in a
nice way. If u have then maybe u need to
let him know that ur serious about it and
that u really need him to be more clean
and bath more often... :wink:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cphilyaw
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Nov 2004
Posts: 95
Location: North Carolina
|
Posted: 06-20-05 09:24am
|
|
|
|
|
If you can not think of a way to tell him
straight from you tell him in a way that
puts it towards the baby like, honey you
know that when the baby comes you will
need to bathe frequently because babies
amune (sp) systems are not as strong as
ours and you will be carrying around
millions of germs if you dont take a bath!
Just an idea!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Posts: 109
Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 06-20-05 10:09am
|
|
|
|
|
Just sit him down one night and tell him.
He has to know how you feel about this.
Cphilyaw used a good example to use in
your talk. But make sure he understands
that it is having a detrimental effect on
your relationship, especially sexually.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
winky2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Posts: 33
|
Honest Relationships
Posted: 06-30-05 19:36pm
|
|
|
|
|
You should be able to talk about poo, pee,
b.O., boogers, anything in a real honest
relationship, no biggie, you're both
adults afterall...
This is just fundamental hygiene stuff,
you can't get close to someone who stinks,
I think he's being passive aggressive if
you've asked him politely and he refuses
to bathe, but if you've not asked him
outright, the fault is your own.
If I were first trimester preggy, i'd wake
up, really nauseous, ask if he was going
to bathe, then if he said no, smell his
arm pit and then vomit right then and
there (just kidding). Look if he doesn't
care that he makes you physically yark, he
just doesn't really care about you...You
have a right not to be made ill by anyone
including him, stay your distance until he
gets the picture!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
volcano
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Apr 2005
Posts: 39
Location: shanghai,china
|
Solution
Posted: 07-01-05 04:07am
|
|
|
|
|
Why not encourage him to bathe with you?I
mean you two can bathe at the same
time,maybe he will accept.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baldwin
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Posts: 18
Location: UK
|
Posted: 07-01-05 07:51am
|
|
|
|
|
If he really loves you then he shouldnt
mind,im sorry to say only having a bath 5
times in a month must be awful for you
and I dont know how he can put up with
sitting around without having a bath at
least everyother day.
Specially with you being pregnant and
feeling ill with it that is pardon the
pun...Selfish.Be honest with him about
it,i know I couldnt bare sitting with
someone who smelled and sweats all the
time.
If all else fails...Get the hose on him ;)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
dutchman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 May 2005
Posts: 44
|
Posted: 07-01-05 08:09am
|
|
|
|
|
I wonder how can you live together with
such a man for so many years? You
certainly deserve a prize for that.
No doubt you husband isn't going to
change..The only way out is to change
yourself..U stop bathing..Too and try
hard to smell worse than him..Maybe then
he'll be able to understand his situation.
I may sound funny..But believe me its the
only solution for people like your
husband.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jennb
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 66
Location: Massachusetts
|
Posted: 07-01-05 09:38am
|
|
|
|
|
I have a hard time understanding why it is
that you can't come right out and tell him
what you think. Obviously. You wouldn't
complain to him about something that he
couln't easily change because you wouldn't
want to hurt his feelings but bathing is
not a difficult thing to do. Was he
raised in a home where people didn't bathe
enough? I am just wondering if it is a
learned behavior, he just doesn't care, or
doesn't think that he smells bad, what do
you think it is? My stepson has asperger
syndrome and he would go for days without
bathing if we let him. He is 17 and we
needed to make it a rule that he needed a
shower every 48 hours. He just didn't
think that he smelled. I don't think that
you should beat around the bush. Just
come out and tell him how you feel. It
might hurt his feelings at first but how
do you think he will feel if he finds out
that he smells so bad that it makes you
sick and you didn't tell him? Just tell
him the truth as gently as you can. Good
luck
|
|
|
|
|
|
vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 2269
Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 07-29-05 13:02pm
|
|
|
|
|
Im sorry but id yell at him to take a damn
shower or he could sleep on the couch.
Thats ridiculous, hes not 5 he should be
able to take a shower. Tell him he is
going to set a bad example for your child
and that he needs to get in the shower.
If he is as sweet as you say he is and you
tell him that he makes you want to vomit I
think it will be ok.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ptrkvvv
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 5
|
Posted: 08-05-05 16:15pm
|
|
|
|
|
Praise him every time he is "clean", show
him your love. It is the best way to
train.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kate917881
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 113
|
Posted: 08-05-05 17:44pm
|
|
|
|
|
Awwe! Yeah ..Sit him down and explain the
importance of good hygiene.. Let him know
that you love him.. But he stinks!! ..
No no.. Bring it up casually.. As not to
embarrase him .. But to let him know that
his odor is not pleasent..
If that doesn't work.. Tie him up while
he's sleeping and throw him in the
shower.. Eventually he should get the
hint.. Lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mommy of 1
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jul 2005
Posts: 291
Location: traverse city michigan
|
Posted: 08-06-05 23:12pm
|
|
|
|
|
Sometimes my husband does that and I just
tell him he smells he needs to shower lol
I dont want a stinky man if he gets hurt
then maybe he will shower more often on
his own
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mclare
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 4
|
My Husband Hardly Showers Too!
Posted: 09-04-05 12:49pm
|
|
|
|
|
It's very frustrating. See i've told my
husband numerous times to take a shower
and i've been sweet about it. But he of
course turns it around on me like i'm
nagging him. He says it angers him off
when he's just walked in the door from
work and that's the first thing I say.
Whatever! He works in a hot environment
with no a/c and hardly showers. Maybe
twice a week. How difficult is it to get
in the shower!!!!! I don't get it. But
i'm at a loss because i'm obsessing about
it and I don't want to bring it up anymore
because I don't want a fight and I don't
want his defensive behavior. So I don't
know what to do......Help :cry:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
msSuze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 1
Location: northeast
|
Not Married But Have Met a Stinkie Poo
Posted: 09-06-05 18:45pm
|
|
|
|
|
I've met this guy who is so sweet and nice
and shows a lot of interest in me, but he
has bad hygiene including not bathing and
brushing his teeth, and he needs a
professional dental cleaning too!
It's an absolute deal breaker and I am
preparing for the day I am going to have
to confront it.
I have wondered if he is depressed to be
so negligent like this. Or was he
ignored as a kid and allowed to stink his
way through school? I don't get it.
And believe me, I like fresh sweat on a
man. I am not unreasonable. I just
don't like that stale old stinky smell.
I don't even want to know that he's not
cleaning his private parts regularly.
I hope there is at least one person on
this forum who has found that an upfront
talk produced positive results!
Thank you
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mclare
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 4
|
Bathing
Posted: 09-07-05 14:40pm
|
|
|
|
|
Let me tell you, a direct
confrontation/discussion doesn't work for
me. I've had to ignore it as best I can
and hope he'll shower more. Trust me guys
don't want to be told they are "gross"
it's emasculating! So you aren't married
so you can find someone else who bathes!!
I on the other hand just have to hope
things will change. I will sit him down
one day and sweetly ask him why and could
he do it more for me and himself. I don't
get it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005
Posts: 1043
Location: Ohio, USA
|
Posted: 10-14-05 04:59am
|
|
|
|
|
Gross! What the hell is wrong with these
stinky guys! I cant understand whay
someone would not want to bathe!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
kb77
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Posts: 100
|
Posted: 01-10-06 02:29am
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you lilypad! I don't get it.
Something is wrong with any person who
does not want to bathe. At the same time
you guys have been putting up with it for
this long, why would they think they have
to change now. I'm not married, but my
boyfriend showers everyday. Mind you he's
a man, so when he comes home at the end of
the day, and he smells from whatever he
was doing, I just tell him - umm baby,
please go take a shower before you get in
the bed. It's not hard, nor is it mean if
they really stink. Just tell him.
Especially if it makes you sick - that's
gross.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005
Posts: 1043
Location: Ohio, USA
|
Posted: 01-10-06 02:54am
|
|
|
|
|
Gee I would just have to be blunt with my
man on this one. Just say, honey! You
must take a shower you stink!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
|
Posted: 01-24-06 15:32pm
|
|
|
|
|
Girls,i know! My man does construction
for a living and he does not come home
smelling too pretty either,but I do not
have to ask him to get in the shower,he
does it by himself and when he doesn't get
in some time after he gets home,i say
"baby,you stinky,get your butt in the
shower!"
|
|
|
|
|
